All my scam are belong to Eddie Kritzer; the saddest troll on the internet

It’s that time again folks, time to read from the mixed up comments of Eddie Kritzer.  It’s really so sad.  Still, you’ve got to be impressed by a man who takes his reputation so seriously that he spends his late evenings writing out his every accomplishment on the blog of an alleged woman of no importance.

As a side bar, to those interested in the power of Google Analytics, it would appear that a certain lexicographically challenged seeker stumbled upon this page by searching for the terms “eddie kritzer scam”.  I leave it up to my few visitors to decide whether such a visit resulted in the posting of the comments below.

Should you wish to see the comments in their unrefined form, here is the link:

The greatest hits of his 3 new comments.  All posted within an hour of one another.


Hi Everybody,

IM Eddie Kritzer, and it’s very easy to write comments about me. negative or otherwise. Your all anonymous, and of course IM a target.
I love the stuff I read about me on The Internet, it’s very entertaining.

If you have a compellling story, and when you go to the movies, and cant believe your story isn’t on the local AMC screen; or your local
Barnes & Noble;

You say to me, my script, or manuscriot is better then any script or manuscript; I have seen or read.?I then say to you, okay, I dont know you, but if you believe it’s a number one anything, I will submit your script or manuscript to all the decision makers.
Never have I ever said I guarantee a sale.
If your so sure your a hit, then I require an advance of Six Hundred Dollars against my 15% Commision.
It’s very simple, if you’ve got something hot, and or compelling, Im always interested
Hey guys, below are a few of my favorite hits, I have many more going, and It’s
I would love to have somebody send me a hit, It’s just that I get Six Hundred Dollars as an advance.
Who cares what some again (anonymously) supposed writer or critic, says, he’s not giving me the mortgage or rent.


Hi Ashley, I love your comments, there very entertaining.
Ashley, let’s kinda get close, you know, like tell people on your blog that you have never created or done anything, kinda like how an why your on “blog: i.e. unpublished writer,
Daaaaaa, do we really have to go into I created Rockline, The longest running Rock Radio Show in history at 27 years. I created the concept for The American Comedy Awards ABC, 8 years, False Witness my NBC Movie received a 19.9rating 27.7share, Bill Cosby’s Kids Say The Darndest Things,o n CBS which was number one in its time slot many timed which I Executive Produced, and own with Art Linkletter and CBS.
The Nuremberg Secrets a Feature Film Produced in Paris, France
Had Hits of Beverly Hills 90201 Radio was partner with Magic Johnson on a script called The Ghost Writer. I sold books by Bill Cosby, Art Linkletter, and many others
Your comments are hilarious, good for a gag, but CREDITS ARE THE COIN OF THE RELM,


I agree, let’s all rag on Ashley, she’s a bit of a bore.
Hey I got an Idea, let’s name all of Ashley’s accomplishments,
There’s ummmmmmmm, and of course huuuuuuuuu,
and who can forget that opld favorite, ” I never did anything, and cried my eyes out on Eddie Kritzer’s blog, but he doesn’t have one, booo Hooo, booo hooo
I think Ashley’s a bit of a cry baby…………
yes I do, but Ashley, I will write you a letter of ………….

Thank you,

All my scam are belong to Eddie Kritzer; the saddest troll on the internet

15 thoughts on “All my scam are belong to Eddie Kritzer; the saddest troll on the internet

  1. 1

    A friendly piece of advice to the good Mr. Kritzer:

    Odd as it may seem, red and green are both bad when it comes to spell checking. The object is not to make your email entirely light up in pretty colors.

  2. 2

    Picking up on your sly Wilde reference, he once said that the only thing worse than being talked about was not being talked about. My question is – does it still work if your [sic] talking about yourself?

  3. 3

    I have Google Alert set to notify me of certain postings when they appear on the web and just received this with a headline mentioning Eddie Kritzer. I do not have an Alert, set for him, but something mentioned above is on Alert. I hear three words in my mind when the name Eddie Kritzer surfacess, they are: Turn And Run. Kritzer is a leech, a scam artist and a compulsive liar. What is going on here anywhere? It appears that EK has foisted himself on someone and has pressed their buttons, so sorry to hear this. Mr. Bad News himself, Eddie Kritzer. I hope no one caters to him spiritually, emotionally, monetarily or physically. Like I said, “turn and run”.

  4. 4


    What are you talking about; were; talking about blogging.
    First Ashley goes into her rap about how could I answer the ramblings of a blogger, Ashley; so if you dont answer you lose; and if you do anwser you lose.
    Ashley, your so self-rightious; you bad mouth me, then if I actually answer you, you criticize me.
    Please just tell me one thing; anything; do you even have job;
    You are the sad one, no sorry, your not sad; your pathetic; not because of your comment about me; but your lonley, and very sad, your projecting, why dont you spend your evenings writing a story, producing play, do something creative; at least try; it’s tough when jealously permeates every bone of your body.
    Ashley, please answer; what have you ever created; I think all three people who reade your blog, you; your estranged mother; and me; not excacly hoardes of people running out to explore your nocturnal ramblings.


    1. Cyn

      Dear Eddie Kritzer:

      Please learn how to use the semi-colon. Your posts look like a semi-colon factory vomited all over the page.

      Please learn the difference between “your” and “you’re.” Pro tip: “you’re” = “you are.”

      Please learn the differences between “there,” “their,” and “they’re.”

      Please use spell check, and learn how to choose the correctly spelled word.

      Until you manage to make your posts readable, I’ll just say this:

      You did some work in the industry a million years ago. Yay for you. But lately all you do is ask unproduced writers for $600 each. I hope you’re able to make a living (and sleep at night) by asking unproduced writers for $600 each, but that is neither here nor there.

      You asked Ashley F. Miller for $600, and she said no. So you asked her again. And you asked her again. She asked you to stop calling her. You kept calling her and asking for $600. And because you didn’t understand that no means no, and because you didn’t stop asking, she published her experiences with you on her blog. Since your common sense has apparently gone the way of your integrity, I’ll spell it out for you: you’re the problem. Stop responding. Go away. You’re embarrassing yourself. I don’t know you, nor would I ever want to know you, but I’m embarrassed for you nonetheless. You’re an old man waving around 20 year-old credits and screaming “I used to be somebody!” and it’s just pathetic. Please stop.

      Incidentally, the number of Google search results for “Eddie Kritzer scam” just keeps going up the more you post. You’re costing yourself the money that some other gullible, hopeful dreamers might pay you. You might have to find some other way to make a living. Luck with that.

      1. Lordy. Why would I even CONSIDER going with any kind of “agent” who (at least on the evidence of the posts and comments that I’ve seen online) seems to be functionally illiterate to the point that I was WINCING, physically, when I was reading what he’d written/ Okay, the first “your” for you’re” might have been a typo – it happens to all of us sometimes. But when it became obvious that he really doesn’t know the difference… wow… how would I like for MY work to be presented to a publisher accompanied by this kind of illiterate drivel for representation? What kind of impression does it leave with the people who have the kind of money to buy any work I might have for sale, if my representative doesn’t appear to understand the basic rules of grammar? How are they to believe that *I* have a grasp of those rules, if I picked this dude to “Represent” me?….

        And then he expects to be PAID for this privilege?…

        I treasure my own lovely agent more and more with every passing moment…

        1. He also expects to be paid for being a bully apparently… I mean why continue harassing people who’ve told you “no” unless you somehow think there’s something in it for you. I still can’t quite figure out his motivation and I think that’s probably for the best.

    2. 4.2

      Anything I say doesn’t do your reputation nearly the harm that letting you speak for yourself does.

      Are you familiar with Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston? She’s decades older, and yet she’s engaging in a verbal brawl with someone she claims doesn’t matter. All it does is get him attention and hurt her image. A baby boomer picking on a Y Generation kid never makes the kid look sad and immature.

      If you’re genuinely curious as to how I spend my time, there is a blog here that details it fairly well. It’s not really tough to navigate, I have to assume that you’ve done so but are hoping someone reading this will take you at your word that there’s nothing there.

      By all means keep posting your vitriol. It does nothing but drive up the hits on this website.

  5. 5

    Oh! Wonderful, Eddie reads the comments!

    To Eddie: Please take the time and effort to correct your usage of “your.” If you mean it as in “you are,” you should use “you’re” (please note the apostrophe). If it is possessive, then use “your.”

    I am highly amused, by the way, that you are taking all of this time away from your hit-making idea factory to insult one 20-something. Does her grammar intimidate you? Are you actually that afraid of her talent? Or do you just have a small penis?

  6. 7

    This is unintentionally brilliant.

    As for Eddie Kritzer, it’s hard to be taken seriously when a remedial fourth grader can write, spell, and express ideas better than him. But congrats! You’re obviously worth hassling! And bonus: if you ever need a character who is a megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur, you have an easy reference here!

  7. 8

    I have a few extra apostrophes. Please… take them. ‘ ‘ ” ”” ” ”” ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ” ”””’ ‘ ” ” ‘ ‘ ‘ ” ‘ ‘ ” ‘ ” ‘ ” ‘ ‘ ‘ Please.

    Also, check your semi-colon/colon key. It seems to be malfunctioning.

    k, thanks.

  8. 9

    I would never ever write that man again he is rule stay the hell away from him he is no good and he is a scam he ask for your moeny and take it so he get paid and you don’t get nothing she telling the true.

  9. 11

    It seems Eddie Kritzer is everywhere. Everytime that prick advertises, he wants money. Does he think we, the public, have got time for that pappy-show piece of sh*t? I don’t think so!
    I’d rather see him get tortured.. just like the film MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY!!

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