Eddie Kritzer: Leave me Alone

I have, for the past TWO MONTHS been dealing with this asshole Eddie Kritzer.  I sent a pitch in response to a Craigslist posting, which turned out to be to this guy who called me and said that he wanted $600 to read my script.  As in, he liked my pitch and therefore wanted me to sign an exclusive contract with him as my manager before he even read the script.

1. Real managers and agents read scripts before they sign contacts

2. Real managers and agents don’t charge you to represent you

He says it’s just an advance.  But the thing is, the only thing he’s ever sold or published appears to be through vanity press outlets; there are no movie deals on even his own factually dubious page.  All of his credits are really old and not terribly impressive.  He apparently has some connection to Bill Cosby, which I guess was impressive some time before I learned to talk.

He was also involved in a major, major scam called Edit Ink. It basically scammed writers out of money and gave commissions to “agents” that referred writers to get scammed — “agents” like Eddie Kritzer.

He keeps sending me e-mails and calling me, he will not leave me alone, even though I have REPEATEDLY told him I was not interested and told him REPEATEDLY that everyone I know in the industry told me HE IS A SCAM.  And on top of that he is a jerk on the phone and can’t be bothered to introduce himself, remember your previous conversations, and he mispronounced the word “bible”. Really.

So, just to be perfectly clear here, what it appears he does is troll Craigslist and then harass and bully people into giving him money.  That’s certainly what he has been doing to me.

I hesitated from posting anything because I’ve seen him threaten other bloggers who are honest about his behavior and I didn’t want to get into it, but other people need to know exactly what this man is doing to me. And if he comes here to defend himself I will simply add that to the list of things he is doing to harass me.


Here is his contract:

Literary Management Agreement
1. By this agreement, Ashley F. Miller(Author) appoints Eddie Kritzer (E.K.) as her literary representative. E.K. agrees to use good faith efforts to place Author’s , manuscript/script, currently entitled BIBLECON ” (Work)and subsequent (hereafter “Work”),with a Publisher , Studio, Production Company, , , Television Network for a film/book. etc acceptable to the Author and to exploit and turn to account such other subsidiary and television and film rights in and to the Works as may be appropriate under the circumstances. We may use and/or employ subagents and corresponding agents for such purposes. E.K. shall make no agreement on the behalf of the Author without the Author’s written approval.
2. In return for services rendered E.K. in connection with the Work, Author agrees to pay and irrevocably authorizes E.K. to receive in its name, all monies due to or to become due to Author and to retain as its commission fifteen percent (15%) of all gross monies payable to Author . An advance on commission of Six Hundred Dollars ($600.00) shall be paid on the execution of this agreement.
3. In addition to the aforementioned commissions, E.K. shall be reimbursed for the expenses incurred on behalf of the Work (not to exceed a total of $100 without written permission), including photocopying, messengers, cables and overseas postage in connection with submissions for sales, both foreign and domestic, long distance telephone calls, copies of the published book when purchased by the E.K. for subsidiary rights submissions, and other similar and related charges. E.K. shall invoice author quarterly for such expenses or deduct same from funds received by E.K. for Author’s account.
4. E.K. shall provide a quarterly itemized account of all expenses to the Author and no expenses shall be due and owing until that itemized account is produced.
5. All funds received by E.K on behalf the Author shall be held in Trust by E.K. and E.K. shall exercise a fiduciary duty with regard to those funds and on behalf of the Author.
6. The Author shall have the right to an annual audit of the financial books and records of E.K. with regard to the Author’s account and E.K. shall produce all records relevant to the Audit. E.K. shall give the accountant conducting the audit access to all financial books and records relevant to the Account. The Audit shall take place at the principal place of business of E.K. unless the parties agree to a different location.
7. Any written notice called for by this Agreement must be sent by registered U.S Mail, return receipt requested, or by FedEx, DHL or UPS overnight courier to the addresses set forth in this Agreement.
8. This Agreement represents the complete understanding between the Author and E.K. and supersedes any prior oral understandings and may not be amended except in a writing signed by the Author and E.K.
9. This Agreement shall be construed under the laws of the State of California.
10. This Agreement is effective on the date of the final signature.

And an official opinion on it:

“Putting on my former lawyer hat (practiced corporate entertainment law for many years, law degree from Harvard, former VP of Legal Affairs for an entertainment co, former director of legal services @ NY’s Volunteer Lawyer for the Arts – just providing creds to let you know that I have a lot of experience in this sort of thing), NEVER pay some dude to read your script as an advance on his future manager commissions. This is a scam – you’ll never hear from him again. Real management agencies won’t ask you to pay them – where’s the incentive for him to do anything? And there’s no term, no ability for you to get out of it — I have too many comments on this management agreement to post in a small space. But needless to say, it’s something you shouldn’t sign.”

Eddie Kritzer: Leave me Alone

79 thoughts on “Eddie Kritzer: Leave me Alone

  1. 2

    Hi Everybody,

    IM Eddie Kritzer, and it’s very easy to write comments about me. negative or otherwise. Your all anonymous, and of course IM a target.
    I love the stuff I read about me on The Internet, it’s very entertaining.

    If you have a compellling story, and when you go to the movies, and cant believe your story isn’t on the local AMC screen; or your local
    Barnes & Noble;

    You say to me, my script, or manuscriot is better then any script or manuscript; I have seen or read.?I then say to you, okay, I dont know you, but if you believe it’s a number one anything, I will submit your script or manuscript to all the decision makers.
    Never have I ever said I guarantee a sale.
    If your so sure your a hit, then I require an advance of Six Hundred Dollars against my 15% Commision.
    It’s very simple, if you’ve got something hot, and or compelling, Im always interested
    Hey guys, below are a few of my favorite hits, I have many more going, and It’s
    I would love to have somebody send me a hit, It’s just that I get Six Hundred Dollars as an advance.
    Who cares what some again (anonymously) supposed writer or critic, says, he’s not giving me the mortgage or rent.
    Eddie Kritzer along with Budd Friedman (founder of The IMPROV) created the concept for ABC”s THE AMERICAN COMEDY AWARDS (16 Years), and was Executive Consultant on the show for over 8 years on ABC, Fox, and Comedy Central He also along with Budd Friedman created and staged The American Comedy Convention in Las Vegas at The Rivera which ran for two years as a live event.
    Eddie Kritzer secured Grammy Award winning artist Christina Aguilera for New Dana Perfume. In a bold move New Dana Perfume teamed with Christina to create an instant brand name for their perfume and cosmetics line, FETISH. by CHRISTINA AGUILERA’.

    He Executive Produced MCA’s (now Universal), SHATTERED IF YOUR KIDS ON DRUGS, which also played on USA NETWORK, starring Burt Reynolds, and Judd Nelson, which was BILLBOARDS number one Video for 8 weeks in a row, packaged CALLANETICS exercise video BILLBOARDS #1 Video for 242 weeks in a row, (5 YEARS)
    packaged Jennie Garths BODY IN PROGRESS Video, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLYS #1 Video, (one week)
    Executive Produced NBC’s Movie of the Week ,FALSE WITNESS, starring Phylicia Rashad, (19.9 rating, 29.9 share)
    Created & produced Radios ROCKLINE, BILLBOARDS #1 Syndicated radio show 7 years in a row, and now on live on for over 27 years, also founded the GLOBAL SATELLITE NETWORK, produced ROCK AROUND THE WORLD (radios number one syndicated show in the early 70’s)
    Also produced live radio concerts for such artists as The Eagels Joe Walsh, Tom Petty, Crosby Stills & Nash, Greg Kihn, ELO,
    Created wrote and produced radios NBC’s radio HOW DO THEY DO THAT, starring Ed McMahon, was partners with Aaron Spelling, and created Radios HITS OF BEVERLY HILLS 90210 the Special, starring Tori Spelling
    Are partners with Art Linkletter, on Bill Cosby’s KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS, which had a three-year run on CBS. Mr. Kritzer has just signed (2009) a partnership agreement with Ryan Seacrest Productions to produce new updated version of Kids Say The Darndest Things.
    Mr. Kritzer is The Executive Consultant on the movie The Nuremberg Secrets, from The Book The Nuremberg Interviews (, Random House), which Mr. Kritzer had optioned; Roach Productions in Paris, France produced it
    Mr. Kritzer has had shows on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, USA, MTV, A & E & PLAYBOY
    Mr. Kritzer has sold books by Bill Cosby, Kids Say The Darndest Things (Bantam Books/ Art Linkletter’s Kids Say The Darndest Things, Ten Speed Press, G-men & Gangsters, Dominic Spinale Seven Locks Press, Eve of Destruction Barry Broad, Seven Locks Press, and many more
    Mr. Kritzer continues to package Movie, TV, and Publishing deals, and is open to selective submissions via a two sentence query at his email address at producedby@aol,com his web site is eddiekriter.com
    Dudes and dudettes, when you come close look me up.
    If you have a story and you believe in it, SHOW ME THE MONEY



  2. 3

    Hi Ashley, I love your comments, there very entertaining.
    Ashley, let’s kinda get close, you know, like tell people on your blog that you have never created or done anything, kinda like how an why your on “blog: i.e. unpublished writer,
    Daaaaaa, do we really have to go into I created Rockline, The longest running Rock Radio Show in history at 27 years. I created the concept for The American Comedy Awards ABC, 8 years, False Witness my NBC Movie received a 19.9rating 27.7share, Bill Cosby’s Kids Say The Darndest Things,o n CBS which was number one in its time slot many timed which I Executive Produced, and own with Art Linkletter and CBS.
    The Nuremberg Secrets a Feature Film Produced in Paris, France
    Had Hits of Beverly Hills 90201 Radio was partner with Magic Johnson on a script called The Ghost Writer. I sold books by Bill Cosby, Art Linkletter, and many others
    Your comments are hilarious, good for a gag, but CREDITS ARE THE COIN OF THE RELM,

  3. 4

    I agree, let’s all rag on Ashley, she’s a bit of a bore.
    Hey I got an Idea, let’s name all of Ashley’s accomplishments,
    There’s ummmmmmmm, and of course huuuuuuuuu,
    and who can forget that opld favorite, ” I never did anything, and cried my eyes out on Eddie Kritzer’s blog, but he doesn’t have one, booo Hooo, booo hooo
    I think Ashley’s a bit of a cry baby…………
    yes I do, but Ashley, I will write you a letter of ………….

    Thank you,


  4. 7

    Kritzer is such a tool! Strike that, a tool actually serves a purpose. My writing partner and I first encountered EKP when his standard rate was “Five Benjamin’s!” First of all, who actually talks like that? Oh wait, that’s right…Eddie does; how easily we forget his hip-ness. It’s apparent that ol’ Art Linkletter’s street savvy lingo has definitely rubbed off on Eddie!

    Or better yet, how easily he forgets where he parked his car. No shit, I was on the phone with him, when he actually asked me where he parked his car. Seriously? How the hell should I know fast Eddie? I’m pretty sure your parked on the corner of “buy a map” & “eat a dick!”

    I could go on all day about Eddie’s impressive accolades (cue drum-roll), but that would be a serious snoozefest. However, I’d like to share an e-mail response from the man himself…showcasing his attention to detail, compassionate demeanor, keen industry insight, and his true douchebag wordsmithing ability. We like to refer to this e-mail as “Dolts say the darndest things!” So, without further adieu:

    Yes it is, I am saying there advise is incorrect, people make deals based on what those two people agree on, I am not an agent, but a producer who makes things happen……
    I dont see the WGA getting you deals, there a Union who protects writers basically when there is a movie, TV Series, etc. there is a strike.

    #2 Fair enough, however you can verify it with Art Linkletter, he is accessible. Bill said it in passing over a year ago when I last ran into him and we talked.

    #3 Of course I wrote it under our agreement, I was just pointing out that I did deliver my services, and will continue to do so. Your not financially ass-backwards as you say, it shows you gave them the upperhand, and I advised and wrote it for you.
    I do have credits, and their verifiable (IMDBpro)

    #4 There are no rules, only relationships IM not in the Army (I was) and were working together for a common purpose, and that’s to develop a hit show.
    Excuse me, who said were buddies, I was advising Steve on what was wrong with the new show, and I said it’s a separate deal with a new agreement.
    You weren’t “buddies” you were advancing me money on the new deal, i.e., the reality show (which I liked) but had problems with, you weren’t “bailing me out of anything, I just got personal, but I see yøur not all that empathetic.
    I read all the postings about me, at the time, I didn’t receive any advances, but now have changed my business model so I dont starve to death, while IM basically working for a client.
    The business model has changed…..and by the way, people get pissed off at me all the time because i turn them down, so they have their own agenda
    Some guy make an offhand comment on The Internet, that would be like somebody you questioned when you stopped them posted something on the Internet that you roughed them up or God knows what
    You have an agent who charges you 5% good for you, does he have five number one shows.
    Rockline is still on after 25 years (Rockline) number one in Billboard seven years in a row, partners with Art Linkletter, Bill Cosby, Christina Aguilera, Ed McMahon, Magic Johnson, Budd Friedman, Aaron Spelling, Tori Spelling, etc there all verified not made up, do you think these people are suckers
    I received advances from Art, from Ed McMahon, from Aaron Spelling (I did Hits of Beverly Hills 90210 as a radio special when he wanted to promote the soundtrack to the show.)

    I didn’t fucken Hound anyone for money, I made an agreement which you reneged on, you would like to have a partner with my experience milk him fucken dry, and then say, gee to bad it didnt happen.
    Give me one credit the “5% Agent has”; ya IM sure he’s good, you turned this around because I got personal, this is a business deal, and I was just being open and you fucken turned it around.

    Are you telling me, that I haven’t lived up to our agreement;; because if you are, this is the first I have heard about it.?
    Fuck your credible advise, name me who told you that; we made a deal, and I lived up to it.

    Let me say this for the last time, I plan on continuing my business relationship with you, your show so far isn’t ready, I advised you on how to set up the show, I still like the idea, Im getting not to like you and your fucken attitude, lets get on the phone and straighten this out………
    Remember what Shakespeare said “The Plays The Thing” not you, not me, not Steve
    Emil me your phone number, unless your a fucken pussy, anD are afraid to talk man to man/
    And by the way, that wasn’t your attitude when we made the deal, you had to talk Steve into it
    Your lucky you have me, I gave you nothing but solid advise, and meanwhile whereas the fucken show?
    Call me if you have the balls to 310-702-5356

    Kindest fucken regards.

    eddiekritzer.com readm and fucken weep

    1. 7.1

      Wow, he never even gave me his #, always calling from a restricted number.

      “Emil me your phone number, unless your a fucken pussy, anD are afraid to talk man to man/” that right there is class man.

  5. 14

    Is the entire publishing industry illiterate and incompetent…or just lazy and apathetic? Do people (who are supposedly in this industry) know how to use spell check or a dictionary? Better yet, if you are an author or writer, why would you hire or work with ANYONE so dense as to make grammatical or spelling errors on their own websites or emails they are sending? Even some of those who have posted here, seem to follow suit with the low standards of this industry.
    If a competent, honorable, pro-active agent/manager/publisher with high standards comes across my post, has a desire to go to my website at http://www.Recycledpetsrescue.com and is couragous enough to connect with me….I welcome it. For those of you who are offended by this, remember, “The Truth Shall Set You Free!”
    818 986-0201

  6. 15


    You seem like a very dissappointed person; your very negative about everybody; why dont you wait till you have a show, a song, a movie, anything positive.
    The people you talk about have credits; you don’t; of course you have the right to do so.
    You haven’t created anything; perhaps you will?


    1. 15.1

      Oh man, I really hope Eddie isn’t impersonating someone on the internet. That’s really bad – I mean baaaaaad. I hate to see anyone get in trouble when they’re just trying to be clever, so here’s an explanation of IP’s.

      IP stands for “Identifiable Person” – it’s a really long number. They’re new, and everyone has one (blame Obama). But basically, everything you do on the internet can be traced back to you by that number. It’s based on your fingerprints, so there’s no way to escape it.

      With that number, you can be traced to whatever computer you use, and viruses can be inserted to track you, or plant evidence. Kiddie porn carries the darndest penalties these days. How do you think they find the people on “To Catch a Predator”?

      The only way to check if you’re being tracked is to search your computer for any files that end with .dll (like winsock.dll, which is the worst one). If you find any, you should delete them as soon as possible. If you get a message saying you can’t delete them because they’re being used, then you’re probably being watched right now! Keep trying.

      Of course, that’s only on a Windows computer. If you use a Mac, it’s a lot harder. You should probably just throw the thing out a window and run.

  7. 16

    I’m so glad I found this site. Ashley, you are a life saver because I just recently responded to a Craigslist ad from “Eddie Kritzer Productions” saying they were looking for writers and novelists and screenwriters. I got a response from someone named “Bob Bovar” saying that my idea seemed really great. I didn’t really trust it so I googled who this Eddie Kritzer is and found your blog. THANK GOD! You really saved me from a huge headache. Thank you! Keep it up…and Eddie Kritzer is a sad, sad pathetic man…who can’t even spell correctly.

  8. jr

    Hey Ashley,

    I read your ad after he contacted me and sent him an e mail an he called and told me a bunch of stuff about how great my story was and when I told him that agents weren’t suppose to charge or make you sign contracts he gave me a bunch of bull and tried to convince me to sent him money and sign a contract. I even had an agent who I talk with tell me this guy was a scammer. No agents charge money or make you sign a contract until your manuscript is taken not before. But now I am being harrassed like you. I have told him I’m not intersted but he just won’t leave me alone. He keeps bringing up Bill Cosby and others he has done business with. I think the next time he calls I will ask if he can set up a meeting with Bill. I would love to hear what Mr. Cosby really has to say about this man. I don’t know if you are telling the truth about this guy Ashley but your story seems so real with what I am going through with this guy.

  9. 19

    I am not in the business. I have been reading all the comments about
    Eddie’s age, grammar, spelling, etc. etc. I know Eddie Kritzer from years ago. He is a self-starter, successful, and not ordinary. He is not from a mold. He is results oriented. Why would someone like Art Linkletter
    or Bill Cosby trust him? Why would he have the successes noted on his WEB site?

    When I knew him he was just starting out with nothing. He began by syndicating his one hour radio program named “Rock Around the World”
    to 350 stations all over the country. I still have a LP of one of his programs.
    He developed the show and he had a partner who was more on the business end as I recall.
    They invited me to join them as a partnet when they moved from Boston to LA. I regret I didn’t have the gonads to leave my corporate world.

    Eddie and I had one thing in common;we were both results oriented.

    Eddie asked me to manage a talented jazz band who wrote their own music. I helped the group get good gigs around Boston such as the famous Sandy’s etc. I liked the group so much I didn.t take a dime including Eddie even though they were under contract.

    Stick with the facts and stop the elitism and hypocrisy and stop depending on spell check as a benchmark for intelligence. Einstein couldn’t count change.

    I am retired now after a successful career.

  10. jr


    Eddie Kritzer keeps calling me and even when I tell him I’m not intersted or I am going in a different direction he keeps calling and harrassing. I mean who calls on a weekend. I don’t know how to get rid of this con artist. Is there any advice you can give me?

  11. 22

    I promise you that last comment is probably from Eddie Kritzer, or his friend. I sent him a screenplay in 2005, signed a contract and the man never called me again! So I could not send my screenplay out for one year. He is unprofessional, forgetful and a liar. Oh and that article is the same one Eddie Kritzer sent me, so I know it is him who left that comment with the LA Times Article LOL!!!

  12. 23

    That post from “Barry” is definitely Eddie Kritzer. He kept bringing up that article in this IMDB post on why writers should pay him hundreds of dollars in advance for his “services.” He’s the guy posting with the screen name “arden09”

  13. 26

    I was also harassed by EK. The saddest part was that I found him in the 2008 Guide to Literary Agents and Managers. Since he was listed among other agencies like CAA and The Gage Group, I sent him a query. This guy was relentless in calling constantly and sending ridiculous emails. This was about three years ago, but in my own research, I found a post on a forum from a screenwriting student. He put a post on Craigslist trying to find another roommate for his apartment. EK responded. Since he was a screenwriting student, he knew about Eddie and posted the whole thing online. I don’t know if it’s still there, but you might be able to find it.

    When EK contacted me, he said that he his kid was in rehab and he was dealing with alimony issues. He also expressed a hatred for Jews and black people. He said that he had Jason Lee attached to a project that he bought called “Skater Dad”. Then he explained to me how he took the 600 dollars from some writer and repackaged the script with a new title: “Skate Dad”. I guess one letter is work 600 dollars. Never ever, ever, ever, contact this guy. He will keep calling, emailing, or he might just show up at your door. He’s a disgusting human being and he should be thrown in prison.

  14. jr

    Can anyone tell me about AmericanPublishers? I have been told two different stories about them. One is that they are a scam and another that they are good to work with. If you know anything let me know. I would hate to be scamed.

  15. Joe

    dude, that Barry guy is a pussy. if he knew what he was talking about, he would eat a dick too. barry and eddie probably give each other head. eat a dick! both of you!

  16. 31

    You have to understand… Everyone on this site is a loser… YES! I’M SORRY!
    Until they realize they are not going to make it, they are putty for guys like these….
    Go git’ ’em, Eddie! They’re just waitin’ for someone to tell ’em they’re a marvel! (Give them higher praise & then charge more! They’ll STILL pay ~!~ (ANYTHING but get a job flippin’ those burgers!)

  17. 36

    I have to say that I really enjoyed reading these posts. I am picking up slang that will no doubt enable me to write like a street person. I had no idea that IM, which I always thought stood for instant messager, is really the way you print, I’m or I am. I have also been screwing up the word Fucken for years. I thought it was Fucking. My favorite has to be the difference between me giving advise, or me giving advice. I always thought to advise was a verb, the action being me giving advice. Just goes to show you that there are people out there with a keen grasp of the English language, and we need to really pay attention to them. In Eddie Kritzer’s defense, I do have to say that the Guide to Literary Agents has him listed as a producer who secures publishing agreements. Executive story editor. This has been a great education. Keep it going. lol (that stands for laugh out loud. I don’t want there to be any mistake like IM. Somebody might think it is Lloyds of London abbreviated or something.)

  18. 37

    This is true what she is saying I just got off the phone with him 05-1-11 at 2:20 he just told me that this is not for me than he just asked me for 1000 dollers that’s crazy…

  19. jr


    If Eddie is such a great person then why does he charge money? Answer is he’s a scam. He tells people all they have to do is give them money but if you look at his record he hasn’t done anything in a long time and when I contacted Bill Cosby who he said was a personal friend Cosby’s representatives denied he even knew the man and didn’t know who Eddie was. If he’s such a great guy with great results then why does his personal friend deny that he knows him? Eddie is a joke who makes his living off of taking money from writers trying to break into the business. NO REAL AGENT ASKS FOR CASH! IT’S A RULE!

  20. 39

    Hi Ashley Miller

    Everything you said is so true he told me my story sound good and than trun around and ask me for a $1000 and told me when my story sell he would send me a check that would change my life for ever thanks I find you he no good stay the hell away from him he is so fucking ruled can we sue him bring a lawsuit agaisnt him.

  21. 40


    I came across Eddie’s information a few years ago, and contacted him and of-course he explained about the advance he bills against his future commission; I diligently looked up his IMDB info, cross-referenced, looked up complaints on-line…and I thought he does have past credibility, and money is not the issue for me, but his lack of focus in a conversation, lack of grasp on whom he was communicating with put me off and for a long time I decided I would continue using other resources that I do to push my work and those of other clients.

    Not too long ago, I decided I would take on his services for one of my first time Authors as his advance fee was not an issue for for me, and why not? I would see how things turned out, and hey – I could do more business with him if he was results oriented, even if his – I don’t know how to describe it…may be sense of humor/demeanor…kind of got on my nerves. I have worked with people I did not particularly want to associate with in various corp Exec capacities…but it was about work, and work got done, we all had our own lives…so, hey, I can work with anybody…if I could not, I would have no problem walking away, AFTER addressing issue(s). I am not one to walk away and ignore a problem, it does not solve anything.

    So, I took Eddie on…some of you have seen what his contracts entail, and I had already called him on it and told him if we were to work together, I would need to reword contract to where it took into account protecting the interests of all parties involved, which I proceeded to do and we signed them/I sent him $600 via Moneygram.

    I Emailed him instructions on what I needed done, I followed up with conversations and tried to make sure he understood where I needed us to get to…

    To make a long story short, in the time I had engaged him, he was never able to grasp my name, let alone my nickname. Then first his printer was not working, and I had to fax him stuff to a public location – which was Okay…then he could not locate Emails PDF Download of Script was attached/even if I purposely re-attached it to every Email I had instructions for him on…even asked him to save copy on his desk-top to make it easy for him to get to it any time…as I already knew going in that his attention to detail was sketchy…but had determined that if his marketing skills were worth it, I would be Okay putting up with his deficiencies…LOL!

    Cut to start of this week…I have unequivocally determined he has never sent out book as I instructed several times, all the strategies I shared with him, aligning him on what I needed done to mold particular brand, etc., of what I had him working on…not absorbed in the least bit!! I may as well have been talking to myself.

    Do you know, he had the audacity to solicit business from me last week while I was trying to discuss his inefficiency and my dissatisfaction? Right in the middle of the conversation he asks if I want to invest in bring back “Kids Say the Darnest Things”, espousing his chagrin that Ryan Seacrest was ignoring an executed agreement on a re-do of it with him, and creating his own program, he was thinking to sue Ryan Seacrest…that Variety.com had called him about it…and he had pitched Oprah, and they liked it…

    I had to ask him to stop and listen to the issues I wanted him to deal with on my Author’s book, that this was NOT the conversation to discuss investments with me…so I instructed him to query the David Black Agency to bring them on as Sub-agents for me…to call them the next day and be sure to call me back to confirm as soon as he had done so.

    Next day, no surprise – no call from Eddie. I left him several messages to ask him to call and confirm no matter what time of day, as the next morning I would contact David Black’s agency myself (I sourced him myself and gave Eddie the contact information, so all he had to do was call them and go from there, as simple as I could make it for him, right…); no call-back from Eddie of-course.

    Next morning, I called David Blacks office, sent in PDF of book…no problem. Left message for Eddie to let him know I had handled it myself, not to call or contact them – he called me back to say the reason he had not called me was that there was no answer at David Black’s office. LOL!!! What a crock…I thought to myself…LOL!!! Phone was immediately answered when I called, and I had no trouble getting what I had wanted Eddie to do done in a few minutes flat!

    I told Eddie we needed to have a discussion. I told him I had had an opportunity to access his strengths and weaknesses and he was just not cut out to sell books. His past strength was in Television, and as he had solicited me on “Kids say the Darnest Things”, I told him I did not need him to do anything more on my Author’s book, and I would put together an agreement for him with me on bringing back “Kids Say The Darnest Things”, and account for the $600, that he had basically done nothing for so far, but money was not the issue. I thought, I would logically work with him to try to get something positive out of the situation, since I had already wasted so much of my time with him.

    So, over the weekend, I put together and agreement for him, committing to scheduling him a meeting with a Reality Head of a Network this week. He got back with me saying he did not need me to do so, he had relationships with various Networks, and Oprah’s people liked his pitch, though they did not buy.

    Naturally, that left nothing else for me to be doing with him, so I gave him a deadline to refund advance in full. He said selling a book takes time, etc., etc. I told him I wanted the information on the publishers he sent work to so my lawyer and I could verify – because I knew very well he did not follow the letter of instructions I had given him for the work/in all probability never sent it out, as he began to ask me to send him PDF again and he would send it out?!?!

    I told him, NO! I was not going to send him copy again, why would he need it if he had already sent it out, plus the fact that I had sent him several copies anyway? I told him I wanted my refund by the deadline given and what the consequences would be if he did not comply.

    He sent me a message saying “Seven Locks Press” was interested in Book…I sent message back to him asking him “to cut the Crap”. I had already checked out Seven Locks press, and they had had no activity on their website for some time, and the listed Toll-free and Landline Phone Numbers were no longer working Numbers. This was just his panicked ploy with the deadline I had given him come up.

    Seven Locks Press
    James C. Riordan

    3100 West Warner Avenue, Suite 8
    Santa Ana, California, 92704

    Phone: 800-354-5348
    Fax: 714-545-1572

    E-mail: [email protected]

    Well…that’s when he started to change colors, as of yesterday he sent me text messages saying I “had mental illnesses”, Emails stating I “was probably lonely” that is why I kept Emailing him…LOL!!

    I let him know both his Texts and Emails would be part of records and the public and courts will be sure to make a judgment for themselves. LOL!!

    It is truly sad that having had a career as he had, he has fallen so low. Stay tuned for what happens next…cheers!

  22. 41

    Hi Venusmoon,

    Wow! I sent this guy my pitch from Australia, where I live. He has given the same line he gave you all. The book sounds great. He rambled on with me for a good hour. Worst part: I called him, LOL. Having being taken in by a scam by a guy in Scotland, Chistopher Hill, alarms rang as soon as he asked for money. But like you, I was intrigued to see where it would go so I called him, man he is one smooth talker, but he breaks off into rants about girlfriends, early marriages etc. I had a good chat with my wife about the contract on the table and the request for $1,000. Her ears pricked up straight away, being Asian from China she is very street smart about scams, proudly smarter than myself. I thought about roping this guy along for a bit, but I think I will let ‘Sleeping dogs lie’ and publish my book online. Besides online publishing is the biggest thing now, not like it was years ago. No longer looked at as “Vanity Press.”

    Anyway Venusmoon, thanks for your account of things. It is sad that a man who had (once upon a time) some very impressive credits has sunk to the bottom of the barrel. Sad indeed!

    If you are ever in Melbourne, Australia look me up, cause you may have saved me and some other smuck precious time dealing with this scoundrel.



  23. 42

    LOL! Glad you did not waste your time…I am SO busy with projects, but have my Attorneys lined up to file against Eddie as soon as I have a lighter schedule…not decided if I want to do others he may have taken in previously a favor, and just have a Class Action filed. You can be sure he will get a taste of answering for his underhanded ways sooner rather than later. Will post once underway. Good luck on your efforts Michael! Thanks for the invite! I do have family/friends in Australia…hectic schedules, but I am sure in the future I will get to visit them, might get a chance to say hello while out there, LOL! Do post once you have your work published…lots of resources out there for sure. Cheers!

  24. 43

    Thanks Michael,

    I checked you out on youtube, you sound like a real warrior for the cause. Good on you!

    I sometimes wonder if it is worth lawsuits. The only people that seem to win are the lawyers. I put it down a valuable lesson learned. Years ago I got take by a literary agent in UK, by the name of Christopher Hill. He even went as far to fake email responses from publishers, do reports etc. All for a measly eighty pounds. Mind you he had about 150 of us in the loop, so it must have been lucrative enough to bait us all along. I checked you ou on youtube, you sound like a real warrior for the cause. Good on you! Definitely drop me a line if you are in MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA.



  25. 44

    (Guess you meant – “Thanks Venusmoon77” on open of your last post Michael – LOL!)

    Fortunately not an issue of money for me. So what remains important is shutting down this pathetic man’s activities. Lawyers will recover cost of fees I pay from what is awarded once courts judge case; and even if Eddie does not have the funds to cover what the courts direct him to, the real value will be having court fillings/records other future victims can have access to in researching him, and/or even if they are not aware, and he is back to his games again; when anyone else files against him, the consequences will be far, far more serious for him at that point because it will be post judgments against him in court-of-law, following which he goes right back to the same old scams. I think the reason he has carried on so far, is that no one ever went ahead and filed against him. This will change, and very, very soon. Will post update once case in-hand.

  26. 45

    Oh, I did see what may be threw you off RE: “Thanks Michael” start of your last post. Three of the Youtube uploads I have are of one of the writers under me, who happens to be called Michael. I have various projects with different parties. Cheers!

  27. 46

    Sorry about that–lets rewind. Sorry “Thanks Veusmoon77” He is a strange one alright. He is now offering to represent me for no charge. Either he has a liking for my book, which I have only sent him a pitch for, or he has another new angle to lassoo some money away from me. LOL

    In this highly competitive industry it is such a shame that there are a rising number of Kritzer and Hills around every second corner. Rejection from a legitimate agent I can live with, being roped along by a shyster is another thing altogether. The time you waste with them you can never get back. And there lies the traversty.

    Truth be told I have been dying to make the movie, which was adapted from the book, even have the script written and adapted a musical play as well–all from the book, with 23 arranged musical numbers. LOL. I have been a very busy boy. I did this cause I thought if the book doesn’t sell, then maybe the movie, if not the movie ‘Ah what the hell’ I will create a musical. Talk about triplets.

    If you know anyone out there that looks at scripts or musicals let me know. What is your book about? Mine is a High paced Supernatural Romance. Imagine putting that into a musical – LOL. No easy task.

    Keep in touch.


  28. 47

    Hi Michael…I wish you all the best on your projects. I may not post here for a while to come, as I said I do keep very, very busy – but here is a parting update for the moment that may be of help to you.

    I am sure I will get back on this forum at some point to post update(s) on court resolution regarding Eddie. So far as him offering to represent you for free, I would surmise that as he has posted on this forum, he is likely getting updates to site emailed to him as well.

    So if he is scared of what is to come, as I am sure he is if he picked up on my last posts, he may think offering to represent someone for free may be a key to wriggling out of the corner he has painted himself into. Grasping at straws – like the point I had him on the deadlines I gave him and he started to say he had an interest presented by Seven Locks Press – which was a tactic he no doubt thought may work on stringing me along, only I already had researched/knew status of the company, and he could not get away with trying to keep his game going.

    What ever you decide so far as keeping in touch with Eddie is entirely your own concern. I can only offer some suggestions for a true path to getting your work into the right hands.

    First, I would say, be sure you have your work registered. Check on writer resources in Australia and what the Country offers writers to safeguard their work. Remember it need not be anything outrageously pricey how ever you choose to register your work. Here in the States you can Register for about $35-45 with Writer’s Associations or Government Copyright Registration.

    Next, be sure you have Edited your works – if you have local writer associations, clubs, etc., where writers get together and you are able to get feedback to be sure your work is where it needs to be/or enlist qualified friends, etc., that may have English Lit Degrees- say, backgrounds that are able to give you valuable feedback, not just praise your work to make sure your work is where it needs to be before you pitch it. You can always pay to have a professional Edit your work, but not necessary if you can go about it at no cost to you, outside of your time.

    Since you have different formats – Book, Film Script and Musical, I would say you have several options you can look to, to forge ahead.

    The most important thing is to gain visibility for your work. So say, you could easily get to know local stage production groups, and can fall in with a group (could be local community or even Secondary School/Colleges…does not have to be any thing fancy,) that you can say – offer your Musical to (you do not have to make much from it, or anything for that matter to start with – and get them presenting your Musical, be it for free performances in the community; or paid presentations of which you get a cut from seats sold. In this way you will have a start to getting your work out in the public and building an audience for it, which you can capitalize in selling your Book and/or Script, and doubly so by having a built-in/up audience, that can command higher pay-outs for you in other media (Print, Film or TV Series).

    I would say, while you have this going if you choose to, you could have worked out Filming the said Stage production of your work – and can enlist local Film Students or Start-up Film Makers to Film Stage performance of your work and pitch Filmed presentation of your Musical direct to say, PBS here in the States. Here is a link on their guidelines:


    On the Book Print front, you can pitch direct to a Publication Company – for your work as described, I would suggest Avon Romance. Here is a Link to their info on Submissions:


    You can look to getting Agent Representation before you have a Deal or Offer for your Work on the Table, or you can get a “Real” Literary Agent to look to selling your work, if you are sure your work is ready for them to push. Here I will suggest a Top Agency accepting Submissions right now, but be sure your work is as polished as it can be before you submit to them as they represent Top Authors in the world today, and you never know what may put off an Agent! 😉

    In any case here are the links for Submission Guidelines and Bio info on what particular Agents at this Agency are interested in (from the description of your work, I would say submission to Jessie Cammack may be a good fit):



    I hope info is of help to you. It may be a while before I post on this site again due to my work load, but I very much wish you all the best Michael. Do post your progress, I am sure to see updates from this forum/post on your updates, though I may be tied up now and then with my work load.

    All the best to you, and all the other writers working hard to get their work out!


  29. 48

    Hi Venusmoon77,

    Many many thanks for the links you sent me. I think you hit the nail smack dead centre on the head. Eddie is just trying to remove any vilification for his tardy practisings. I will not be going anywhere near him. There is just too much negativity around him.

    I will certainly keep you posted on my progress. Many thanks. The offer stands if you ever get down under drop me a message here.

    All the best to you, I hope it all comes together.

    Thanks again for the links.



  30. Ben

    I was this | | close to signing today… I dont want to work with someone that treats people like this… i just got the agreement haha. I feel like printing it and lighting it on fire!

  31. 50

    I’d like to share my correspondences with Eddie this weekend:

    My first email read:

    I have a script I created while in college entitled “Jerkass.” It is in its beta stages but in play format, it’s over 100 pages on microsoft word. It’s basically about a socially inept person. It has a lot of vulgarity, and somewhat juvenile
    dialogue similar to the movie “Superbad” (edit). Let me know if this sounds interesting.

    His response:


    worst pitch I ever heard, would you go to see that movie; I wouldn’t.

    Say in one sentence what your story is about; you cant? Then how can you sell your (sic) movie; you cant.

    do the best you can; I dont have high hopes for you. however if you can prove
    your (sic) committed, I will consider.

    I was shocked, so I wrote back:


    You said you haven’t high hopes for my success in Hollywood. Based on your communicative abilities (such as they are), I beg to differ. In fact, you give me renewed hope for my chances: If you can make it in Hollywood, anyone can, even my brother, who’s a fifth grader. At least he can communicate and write correctly and, I daresay, professionally, which is more than I can say of you. I only hope you are not at all representative of the aptitudes and attitudes I am likely to encounter in the town. If you are, then the day cannot come soon enough that California is parted from this country by the violent tremors of some unfathomable earthquake!


    P.S. Your message reads as if it were dictated like the telegrams of old. Stop.

    Of course, he replied with nothing meaningful, just more criticism:

    L-O-S-E-R don’t bother; you have no track record; it’s irrelevant what you think…….you can’t knock success.
    please don’t bother to answer; you can’t take criticism; your (sic) all talk,you have accomplished nothing, and you never will.
    My communication skills are enough for me to have five number one shows, partners with the most successful people in Hollywood.
    We don’t need any more homeless in Hollywood, which is what you will become. because no one will do business with you.

    May I ad (biggest sic), the biggest sin of all, your (etc sic) a bore.

    Here is my final response to this “nice” producer:


    It seems that success does not a gentleman make. I cannot fathom how you achieved anything, anywhere — your attitude reeks of condescension and preening self-righteousness. Either the “most successful people in Hollywood” have no taste, and so do not realize what an ass you really are, or are as distasteful and ignorant as you. If the latter be true, I think I’ll leave Hollywood to its own. I needn’t debase myself by immersing myself in its foulness.

    You said that I was incapable of enduring criticism. Nothing could be further from the truth. What I cannot abide is uninformed criticism. You never read a single word of my script, and yet presumed to know everything about it, including its suitability for adaptation to film. Yet, in order to claim something is bad, one must have reasons. “Because I declare it so” is insufficient. Even the most mediocre film critic is capable of more profundity than that. What does that observation say about you?

    Finally, to answer your question: I do believe that people would pay to see my work on the big screen. It isn’t as if we live in a “golden age” of film. My work would inevitably be better than much of what is produced and released these days.

    I should like to talk to you via telephone, if only to convince myself that you aren’t an angst-ridden teenager. Your responses cannot be penned by an accomplished, reputable “agent.” They are simply too juvenile, too unprofessional. Either they come from the most incompetent agent ever, or from the very best internet troll. (Honestly, I suspect the former.)

    You know, these correspondences have inspired me to write a new comedic script. I can see the title now: “Big Agent, Big Ego, Small Penis.”

  32. 51

    Thank you so much Ashley..this guy called me today and tried to get me to fork over $600 without even reading the script too. I remember reading an article saying if an agent asks you for money he’s a fake..and it was right. Thank you for affirming this. Keep your head up everybody! Get a real agent and do it for real!


  33. 54

    I answered Eddies ad and he called me tonight. He sounded okay wanting to know about my movie. Then he asked me if I was “cute”. I said “of course” but what does that matter? Then he told me about the $600 and 15% . He asked me questions about where I lived and how old my daughters were, did they have roommates?The longer I listened to him tell me “to listen” to him he got weirder,ramping about where I lived was a terrible place and how he hated it. That he hated people calling Los Angelos “LA” and was dropping the F bomb over and over.I said I was not going to pay for him to hear my idea. He was talking crazy and cussing,I hung up on him.

  34. 55

    For the reason being that Kobe bryant throughout his career won championships while facing bigger, stronger, alot more athletic basketball players than what Michael jordan took on…I rank Kobe as the best 2 guard ever…Any contrary viewpoints?

  35. 56

    With a career full of pathetic matchups in the vein of Craig Ehlo, John Starks, Bryon Russell, and Danny Ainge…I rank Michael jordan behind Kobe…Any thoughts on this particular topic?

  36. 60

    I just got off the phone with him. I was in a fairly noisy place and wasn’t sure what he said something about $600. It sounded fishy, but I’m in the market for a new manage/agent. He asked all the wrong questions and said all the wrong things.

    Now that I know he wanted ME to send HIM money,

  37. 61

    my name is zohar
    i am frome israel .i talk to e.k. he whant 600 dolars i dont know if it tru or fuls. how can i find an agent for script? can somone help me?
    i need areal agent maby you can give me asite to find an agent?
    thank you

  38. 62

    i dont know e.k. persently. maby you say tru abut him .and maby its not tru.maby its ascam and maby its not
    help me desid if to call him or not becouse i dont know how to find an agent for my script and what i have to do to cell my script

    1. 62.1

      I spoke to Eddie on the phone. Do not deal with him. He is a scam, he goes crazy on you and takes peoples money. Just google him. I am so glad I talked to him, he proved to me that he is unstable. He cursed and yelled about the weather. Be glad you found this site.

  39. 63


    1. MVP

      Zohar (and anyone else concerned) http://www.media-mvp.com/

      This is a link to the WGA’s affiliate Talent Agency List. It can be found under the “Writer’s Resource” tab and is labeled “Agency List”


      Each Agency does things differently and I would recommend searching for their official site on google before contacting them, reason being is that they often have protocols where they log you into a database (usually free) that you can communicate to them from. Some agencies have no open doors for incoming talent which is why they simply refer you elsewhere so the next time you come across a talent agent in the public who can be authenticated by their work and relationships, try and buy them a drink (even though you are not a working writer yet)

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