So you’re lost in space. Here’s how to figure out what kind of Star Trek you’re on.
If the aliens are…
Horny and extravagant yet dully conventional about it
Star Trek: The Original Series.
Satan inviting you to the realm at the center of the universe where magic is real
Star Trek: The Animated Series.
Horny and weird about it
Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Horny and VERY weird about it
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Colossal assholes first and horny second
Star Trek: Voyager.
Either sopping wet or extremely racist, neither of which is helped by how they’re so horny it’s apparently physically painful for them and for you that they’re so horny
Star Trek: Enterprise.
Horny and kind of ordinary about it
Too suspicious of the space Nazi you’re inexplicably chummy with to be horny right now
Star Trek: Discovery.
Horny and a lot of fun about it
Star Trek: Lower Decks.
Horny and way more into feet than you expected
Star Trek: Picard.
Not really all that horny about you but VERY excited about your dad
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.
Star Trek: Prodigy.
Deeply concerned that you showed up horny for installing right-wing dictatorships in countries that had the temerity to pursue left-wing policies and also vore
Star Trek: Section 31, probably.
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