CN sexual assault, Donald Trump.
United States, I will not forgive you for this.
I will not forgive you for being white-supremacist enough to let a candidate like Donald Trump get a major-party nomination. I will not forgive you for reading his unearned wealth and feckless theft of services from his contractors and the US government as “business sense” and “business sense” as “at all fucking relevant to the US presidency.” I will not forgive you for reading the thoughtless ease with which he performs violence upon all of the women in his life as comfortable masculine confidence. I will not forgive you for disappearing any chance that the numerous legal proceedings against him could lead to meaningful outcomes.
I will not forgive you for hearing him promise to bar and deport all Muslim Americans and non-Muslims who look like them, hearing him promise to empty the United States of Hispanic people who traveled north to improve their lot and build a wall against ecologically sensitive desert that will kill thousands of poor people, hearing him promise to return to their hellscape children fleeing the failure of Central American countries, and nodding along. I will not forgive you for seeing their lives as a worthwhile price for “getting your country back,” when that country was never yours.
I will not forgive you for cheering his promise to fully and enthusiastically gut the legal protections that make it harder for bigoted landlords and employers to keep me broke and homeless on account of being queer. I will not forgive you for cheering as he promised to move American healthcare backward instead of forward, and make sure that people like me are back to the black market for our healthcare needs. I will not forgive you for being okay with, or thrilled by, what his Supreme Court picks will do to women’s bodily autonomy.
I will not forgive you for not listening to the thousands upon thousands of women who have had to see therapists or stop watching election coverage because the man looks and moves and talks and breathes and gloats and boasts and gropes and rapes like the men who abused them. I will not forgive you for telling them that they were overreacting or too sensitive or seeing things that weren’t there. I will not forgive you for how you talk about Melania Trump.
I will not forgive you for watching the man earn the endorsement of Ku Klux Klan leaders and neo-Nazis, Vladimir Putin and Marine Le Pen, and still vote for him. I will not forgive you watching him throw people of color out of his rallies before even verifying whether they’d otherwise fallen under his fascist spell, because people of color obviously have no place in Trump’s great America. I will not forgive you for watching his supporters promise to hang journalists and shoot black people, and not thinking something was wrong. I will not forgive you for not being scared witless by his threat to not concede defeat if he lost the election or by his promise to pursue legal action against Clinton if she won.
I will not forgive you for listening to the Republican establishment promise to continue stonewalling every single action directed to them by a Democratic president, and not seeing that as the childish stunt it continues to be. I will not forgive you for not voting in landslide Democratic majorities in the House and Senate, and instead merely edging the House seven members blueward and the Senate one, with Republican majorities intact in both. I will not forgive you for leaving the authority to confirm Supreme Court nominees in Republican hands. I will not forgive you for reelecting Marco Rubio.
I will not forgive you for the 9% of my generation that was too special-snowflake pure to deal with the election system we have, and has the gall to crow now about how the “broken system” gave us President-Elect Trump. I will not forgive you for refusing to vote in the system the United States actually has, and determinedly voting in the one you wish it had, and being the deciding margin between Trump and Clinton in too many states. I will not forgive you for valuing your own deontological, ideological purity over my life and the life of Americans far less lucky and far more vulnerable than I am. I will not forgive you for imagining that President-Elect Trump is an acceptable consequence for the supposed corruption at the heart of the Democratic Party that supposedly prevented Bernie Sanders, whom I voted for in the Florida primary, from being the Democratic nominee. I will not forgive you for treating this election as a primping game for your smugness instead of the matter of literal life and death it was and is.
I will not forgive you for having a trans lesbian daughter and gay cousin and black nieces and nephews and voting for Donald Trump. I will not forgive you for thinking so little of my rights and my place in the United States that you would continue to vote for Republicans for any office whatsoever even after I disclosed myself to you. I will not forgive you for not suddenly realizing that voting for Republicans means voting for anti-gay and anti-trans laws that affect your family instead of some abstract queer nuisance. I will not forgive you for valuing your bigoted notion that being gay and trans should be sad and painful over the well-being of your own family. I will not forgive you for not having a sudden and painful realization that anti-gay and anti-trans laws aren’t an abstract exercise in asserting values or an attempt to “protect” cisgender straight people from us, because they finally started knocking on your door. I will not forgive you for being even less empathetic and less morally sound than the folks who only turned around on queer issues because they turned out to be harming some of their own. I will not forgive you for what my legal name and gender marker change process will look like once a Republican-held everything gets a hold of it. I will not forgive you for dreaming that legal discrimination would “knock some sense into” me and force me back into my closet again, where you wish I had stayed.
I will not forgive you for clinging so desperately at the illusion of your whiteness that you would throw your darker-hued kin to the Republican wolves in order to claim your spot on the United States’s racial hierarchy, above the visibly black and indigenous people you not-so-secretly despise. I will not forgive you for demarcating yourselves so firmly from them with talk of “good,” “real,” “legal” immigrants versus the foreign masses who remind you that your whiteness is conditional, here, on being a shit to people darker than you. I will not forgive you for your ongoing quest to forge solidarity, not with your fellow descendants of Boriken and Kubao and Ēxcān Tlahtōlōyān and Tawantinsuyu and your fellow descendants of Akan and Igbo and Kongo and Yoruba, but with those who would gladly disappear us entirely. I will not forgive you for selecting as your survival strategy climbing up to whiteness on a ladder made of your own kinfolk, and expecting us to tolerate it.
I will not forgive you for electing an unhinged, violent, kleptocratic bigot over the most personally qualified human being to ever run for president, and then giving that unhinged, violent, kleptocratic bigot a majority in both legislative bodies, in an election with multiple Supreme Court positions at stake.
I will not forgive anyone who tells me I shouldn’t be angry at the progress of my natal country being halted and reversed at the exact specific moment that it is most critical for me.
I will not forgive you.
And I will not forget.