Wherein I Catfish an Irish Chaser Named Niall Corbally

CN ableism in quoted messages

I don’t often check my “filtered messages” on Facebook. I don’t get many, and by the time I get around to remembering the secret extra inboxes Facebook helpfully uses as a preemptive trash bin, many of the people messaging me there have already had their accounts disabled on account of being spambots. It’s a short queue of “Facebook User” interspersed with men from overseas asking outrageous things of me.

Which brings me to Niall Corbally, the drift-race enthusiast and proud Tweeter who decided that messaging overseas trans lesbians to get them to perform sexual violence upon his gonads was a good use of his time. This is the message he sent me at the beginning of the month, that I found earlier today:

Screenshot of message Niall Corbally sent me on 1 August 2016.
“My name is Niall Corbally 24 from Ireland im looking for a long term relationship if you are interested please text me back and for some very strange reason I like it when a women kicks are stands on my balls in high heels hmmmmmmmmmmmmm weird right would you like to do that to me hun?”

Most of my junked messages aren’t nearly this graphic, so Niall Corbally’s overture led to a dear, magnificently-bearded associate of mine to make him some offers.

Screenshot of message thread between Niall Corbally and my associate, part 1 of 12
Associate: I mean, I’m not a Canadian lesbian, but I can totally stand on your junk in high-heels, if you’re so desperate as to look across the ocean for it.
Niall Corbally: Who is this?
Associate: Someone who is aware that you bothered a lesbian aaaaall the way in Canada to try to get her to stand on your junk in high heels. I’m just trying to do you a solid, man, and stand on your junk in high heels. I’m sure we can come to mutually agreeable terms.
Niall Corbally: Lo u still haven’t answered my question who are u
Associate: Obviously. And I’m someone who can be convinced to stand on your junk in high heels—among other things—which is apparently what you’re looking for.
Niall Corbally: Thank but Im looking for a transgender who actually looks like a woman hey and that’s not u
Associate: Well, I’m NB, and can /certainly/ shave to cater to your fetish. Although I must wonder about the ethicality of soliciting people on facebook out of the blue but—that isn’t something that bothered you; I’m sure you’ll extend me the same courtesy.

So far, we know Niall Corbally here is a chaser, specifically fond of femme trans women to such a degree that he’ll solicit their services overseas without even noticing the “Engaged” in their relationship status. One rather doubts that he expects to pay for any virtual ball-busting he might eventually receive. But my associate and I extracted our price anyway. After all…

Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time speaking his catchphrase in a disingenuous bow.
“All magic comes at a price, dearie!”

To wit:

Screenshot of conversation between Niall Corbally and my associate, part 2 of 12
Niall Corbally: Well I haven’t seen what you look like as a woman hey
Associate: Now, we can of course begin laying out the scene whenever you’re ready, but we really should discuss the small matter of *payment* before getting too carried away. Honestly, the number of you sending off dick picks before even confirming what’s in y’all’s price range is /adorable/
Niall Corbally: Lol u texting me out of the blue asking for dick pics when I haven’t seen what you look like as a woman hey lol
Associate: Oh! I wasn’t asking for them—I was remarking how quick people like you are to send them off. After all, asking someone for something so personal out of the clear blue sky would be crass and improper—and you, of course, would stand for no such thing. You are, of course, a classier john than that.
Niall Corbally: Lol believe what you want hey lol
Associate: Well, it’s all rather beside point—which is that you’re soliciting people to stand on your junk in heels, and I am willing to provide such a service, as femme as you’d like.
Niall Corbally: And why are u deciding to do it when I never asked u to?
Associate: I can think of at least one person who could ask you the same question. I’m sure our answers would be fairly similar.
Niall Corbally: Really who?

Mr. Corbally’s education in how to talk about trans people is woefully lacking. “What u look like as a woman,” indeed. I don’t feel bad about what comes next.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 3 of 12
Associate: The Canadian lesbian you messaged out of the blue in the first place.
Niall Corbally: What’s her name
Associate: Oh! Are there so many that they all blend together? Then it doesn’t’ matter which. Besides, you’re a cutie and I’d like to extend the service—and you actually *want* someone to stand on your junk in high heels! That’s more than any of the women you’ve messaged can say about what you’ve sent.
Niall Corbally: Yea but I don’t know what u look like as a woman and if I get that pic then we can talk more
Associate: Well. I’ll see what I can do. Of course, I’d rather not just give it away for free. I’ll happily trade
Niall Corbally: Trade for what hey
Associate: Well, your face I’m reasonably certain of.
Niall Corbally: Ok
Associate: So, something…lower might be in order. I think I’d like an idea of what I’ll be prancing on.
Niall Corbally: Ok
Associate: Whenever you’re ready to send.

My associate is a master of sassy deflection. Niall Corbally is clever enough to try to figure out who I am, but not clever enough to see the rest of this scene unfolding in advance, or to figure out how gross it is to weigh his prospective scene partner’s cis-passing in such blatant terms. This is where the catfishing really takes off.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 4 of 12
Niall Corbally: [blurry dick pic] Well??
Associate: Oh, lovely—uncut, but blurry and without a view of your balls. Let’s see what that’s worth… [photo of my pretty, pretty feet]
I’m not sharing the images of me used here, however innocuous they are on their own. Rest assured, I have truly delightful feet. If you’re my Facebook friend, you can find the photos yourself.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 5 of 12
Niall Corbally: I said a pic of what you look like as a woman hey [another blurry dick pic]
Associate: Technically, it is. I’m matching the quality of pics. When I say I want to see what I’ll be prancing on, I mean /all/ of it, with a steady hand.
My associate drives a hard bargain. Let’s see how Niall Corbally responds.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 6 of 12
Niall Corbally: [picture of Niall Corbally’s scrotum that my associate tells me is great] Associate: Better! I’ll have to reward your better effort. Niall Corbally: Ok Associate: Goodness, to get a view of your bait and tackle (as it were) as clear as that last ball pic, I’d have to go all out. So far, I think you deserve…hm…a summer look? [photo of me from behind in a brown crop top with black trim and a patterned brown-and-black skirt] But not /too/ summery
This is where Niall Corbally starts losing his shit mid-sentence and otherwise behaving erratically, and where my associate begins pulling the rug out.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 7 of 12
Niall Corbally: So what hey u looking to just stand on my balls hey
Associate: If that’s all you want, I guess that’s all you’ll get. If you want more, you’ll have to ask me nicely 😉
Niall Corbally: [uses Facebook Call to try to video chat with my associate]
Associate: Oh ho ho ho! That’s not asking, dear—but I am intrigued by your boldness.
Niall Corbally: Its not Christmas lol
Associate: I’ll bite—what are you wanting?
Niall Corbally: Lol yea I might be bad 😉 but I do love racing. And I don’t have a race until 2 hours so we can talk are if u wanna bite 😉
Associate: Alright, I’ll bite. What do you want to talk about? If nothing else, what do you race?
Screenshot of conversation between Niall Corbally and my associate, part 8 of 12
Niall Corbally: Lol 😉 I race cares hun drift and street race
Associate: That’s so exciting!
Niall Corbally: [Facebook Like / thumbs-up] Yea
Associate: So, why trans women in particular?
Niall Corbally: Why not hun some are really gorges smart and funny
Associate: You don’t seem to be interested in that aspect so much
Niall Corbally: I am. I don’t do much talking because I race a lot hun so it might seem that way
Associate: If that’s the case, why send messages like this? [sends Niall Corbally a copy of the message he sent me]
Boom.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 9 of 12
Niall Corbally: Why not hey
Associate: And seriously, setting aside where the hell your manners were, why—if you’re so interested in intellect and humor—are your messages so incoherent?
Niall Corbally: Yea, I guess I left my geart in my other pants that day lol
Associate: You were an asshole is what you were
Niall Corbally: Yea sure if im really an asshole then why text me hun
Associate: To turn your unwanted advances back on you
Niall Corbally: Really lol
Associate: And you damn well knew it, too
Niall Corbally: Yea lol
Associate: But I wasn’t expecting you to be pathetic enough to ignore the heavily-laid shaming and—instead of taking the point that maybe you should interact with people like a sensible person—you went after obvious bait. It’s a pity, really. You’re attractive with a decent cock, and you’ve decided to waste it by being an utterly contemptible asshole. And now you’re here, trying to connect with the queer demiguy one of the people you harassed enlisted to fuck with you. All of this could have been avoided by being a decent person. Oh well—

This seeping asshole didn’t even have the decency to remember that message! I’m insulted, and also blown away at how casually he brushes off its rudeness with “why not lol.” Even weirder, after this display of callous, cheerful douchebaggery, he now goes for a pity party.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 10 of 12
Niall Corbally: Ok now im lost lol. If I harnessed you then why bother texting me like yea I know Im an asshole and all but I don’t try to be one I just race to make some money and Im berley on facebook like so yea Im a junkie asshole u happy. I stopped giving a dam when my mother past so yea I don’t care what people think of me hey
Associate: You harassed a friend of mine. I don’t really care that you’re a junkie, or that your mother passed. I care that you send revolting messages that you damn well know won’t do anything to get what you claim to want instead of acting like a sensible person and treating the people you message like people.
Niall Corbally: How the fuck did I threaten them like I didn’t threaten anyone so someone’s lieing ther hey
Associate: No one said anything about threats. Sending sexually explicit messages out of the blue is still harassment. As I know you grasped at the beginning of this exchange.
Niall Corbally: Yea right whatever hey lol
Associate: You can “whatever hey lol” as much as you’d like. Most of the women you try that shit on don’t respond well to it, so surely you’ve managed to figure out that “for one very strange reason I like it when a woman kicks are stands on my balls in high heels hmmmmmmmmmmmmm weird right” entices no one and is wanted by no one.
Niall Corbally: Lol is that all
Associate: Idk Niall Corbally, /is/ it?
Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 11 of 12
Niall Corbally: Im amazed why you got involved over a stupid message like Im laughing my ass of here its just one message build a bridge and get over it lol
Associate: And you were roundly mocked for it. Because it was uninvited—she’s in a relationship, not interested, across the ocean, and already has to deal with chasers who see her as a fetish toy, and you decide that wow, she really needs to hear about *your* fetish. And then I decided to fuck with you and laugh at your complete lack of self-awareness when you’d complain about not wanting my attention.
Niall Corbally: Lol really that’s cool did u have fun lol
Associate: Honestly? Not after I realized what a damn sad-sack you actually are. At some point, it’s just cruel.
Niall Corbally: Awwwwwww thanks il take that as a compliment lol
Associate: Man, whatever gets you through the day.
Niall Corbally: Yea and today its racing wow I really loved this chat lol anything else before I go get new tyres for me car
Associate: 1) Decent cock, maybe be less of a thoughtless asshole; 2) Enjoy this coming up when people google your name!

This dude is pathetic.

Screenshot of conversation between my associate and Niall Corbally, part 12 of 12
Niall Corbally: Noted but u do know u post dirty shit on Google u do know u might one be arrested are u might not have any Internet wise choice goodluck lol
Associate: Oh man, you wish I’d be posting the dirty shit. No one’ll see your cock. They’ll see your words instead.
Niall Corbally: Yea that’s cool lol

And, with the blessing provided in that last comment, here is the story of how Niall Corbally sexually harassed me and got catfished by a demiguy on my behalf, and then had his fuckery displayed for all the world to see.

May this be all Google ever has to say about you, Niall Corbally.

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Wherein I Catfish an Irish Chaser Named Niall Corbally

2 thoughts on “Wherein I Catfish an Irish Chaser Named Niall Corbally

    1. 1.1

      No, my associate spent hours returning the favor to a man who thought it was appropriate to ask a trans lesbian across the ocean who is not a sex worker to fulfill his sexual fantasies. His being autistic, or not, provides no excuse for this behavior. Nor did my associate stick around longer than Niall Corbally’s welcome. So I’m glad that this article is on the first page of results for Googling his name.

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