Dick Dawk

As the latest instance of the Dawkins Cycle works itself out, we’ve reached the point where the only appropriate response is parody songs.

With apologies to Ke$ha, here is “Dick Dawk.”

 

Wake up in the morning feeling like being shitty
Grab my biases, I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit the Twitty
Before I leave, flex my gob for the upcoming smack
‘Cause when I leave Twitter shite, I ain’t thinking, Mack.

I’m talking classism for my bros, bros
Racism on the down-low
Sexism for my Joe Blows
Drop-topping playing my favorite dev-ees
Advocating for patriarch-ee
Getting all kinds of fraking pissy

Don’t stop, make it Fox
White boys blow my paycheck up
Tonight, I’mma fight
With people who are more right
Dick Dawk on the clock
So the trolling don’t stop, nooh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh

Don’t stop, make it Fox
White boys blow my paycheck up
Tonight, I’mma fight
With people who are more right
Dick Dawk on the clock
So the trolling don’t stop, nooh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh

And now I’m in a world, that got plenty of fear
And got no good thoughts in my noggin, but I’m already here
And now the SJs lining up, ’cause they heard all my blather
But I say some more awfulness so they know I don’t matter.

I’m talking about constantly saying bunk, bunk
Got famous for schooling monks, monks
Now I’m Tweeting ableism for fun, fun

Now, now, we stop when the thinky work is done, done
Or the fem’nists shout at me, me
The fem’nists shout at me, me
The fem’nists shout at meeeeee

Don’t stop, make it Fox
White boys blow my paycheck up
Tonight, I’mma fight
With people who are more right
Dick Dawk on the clock
So the trolling don’t stop, nooh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh

Don’t stop, make it Fox
White boys blow my paycheck up
Tonight, I’mma fight
With people who are more right
Dick Dawk on the clock
So the trolling don’t stop, nooh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh

SJ, you wind me up
You piss me off
My Twitter flows
Learn how to think

I write out some
Bullshit ideas
You don’t like that
Learn how to think

SJ, you wind me up
You piss me off
My Twitter flows
Learn how to think

With my Tweets up
Put your posts up
Put your posts up

Now, the Twitter don’t fart ’til I strut in

Don’t stop, make it Fox
White boys blow my paycheck up
Tonight, I’mma fight
With people who are more right
Dick Dawk on the clock
But the trolling don’t stop, nooh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh

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Dick Dawk
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