Mock the Movie: Nothing to See Here Edition

This month’s movie has absolutely nothing to do with the failed “raid” on Area 51. Nope. Not at all. I can’t imagine why you’d even think so. And if you don’t find me convincing, just wait until you see The Disappearance of Flight 412. Alas, this was a television movie, so we don’t have trailers for it, but please…enjoy this little introduction.

This month’s selection is available on YouTube. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Nothing to See Here Edition”

Mock the Movie: Nothing to See Here Edition
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Mock the Movie: Less Animated Edition

This post will not be a paean to Ray Harryhausen, but only because Mock the Movie is not about good things. It is about people who look at a good thing and think they can do better just because they have more modern tools. Yes, we’re looking at you, Silicon Valley. We’re also looking at Clash of the Titans, of course.

This one is available on Netflix. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Less Animated Edition”

Mock the Movie: Less Animated Edition

Mock the Movie: Not That Lizard Edition

Yonggary (or Reptile 2001 or The Reptilian) is not Godzilla, thank you very much. The monster is resurrected by aliens instead of being created by radiation, for one thing. Also…um…eh, it looks both worse and more fun to watch. We don’t really need more of an excuse than that.

This one is available on YouTube. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Not That Lizard Edition”

Mock the Movie: Not That Lizard Edition

Mock the Movie: Stylish Possession Edition

I freely admit at the outset that the only reason we’re watching The Secrets of Emily Blair this month is that every picture I can find of Emily looking horribly, inhumanly, grossly possessed still features her in killer eye makeup. Really, that’s it. Well, I mean, it also looks terrible.

[Warning for strobe cuts at the end of this trailer.]

This one is available on Netflix. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Stylish Possession Edition”

Mock the Movie: Stylish Possession Edition

Mock the Movie: Satanic Seductress Edition

Feeling sad you missed May’s mocking? You didn’t actually. We had to cancel at the last minute. Watch with us this month instead.

We were feeling in need of one of those great Fifties and Sixties exploitation movies that ends up exploiting little more than its actors because it’s so confused about its subject. In this case, the subject is Satanism. Or paganism. Or voodoo. Or…oh, I don’t know. Come watch The Devil’s Hand with us and find out.

This one is available on YouTube. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Satanic Seductress Edition”

Mock the Movie: Satanic Seductress Edition

Mock the Movie: Blonde Bombshell Edition

Really, we’re just watching The Navy vs. the Night Monsters for Mamie Van Doren. And really, we’re just doing that to honor this tweet. We’ve watched worse movies for worse reasons. Probably.

This one is available on YouTube. You’ll notice the timing is unusual. We’re watching this tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9 p.m. Eastern. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Blonde Bombshell Edition”

Mock the Movie: Blonde Bombshell Edition

Mock the Movie: What Book? Edition

This month, we’re watching a Zelazny movie! Well, we’re watching a movie based on a Roger Zelazny book. Okay, we’re watching a movie with the same title as a Roger Zelazny book. All right, fine. We’re watching Damnation Alley because it’s late-70s George Peppard and Jan-Michael Vincent and Paul Winfield for however long his character survives.

This one is available on YouTube. The actual movie starts at 2:08. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: What Book? Edition”

Mock the Movie: What Book? Edition

Mock the Movie: Like a Classic Edition

As it turns out, a movie doesn’t have to be good to be treated like a classic. It can be “not as awful as I expected” or “long-awaited” or simply “not the worst video game movie out there”. That’s right. We’re watching Doom this month, because at the least the leads are entertaining.

This one is available on Netflix. Be warned that the first-person CGI sequence toward the end of the film has been known to cause motion sickness in those who are susceptible. Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Like a Classic Edition”

Mock the Movie: Like a Classic Edition