Where We Draw the Line

The Borrowitz Report has a post up in the form of a satirical goodbye letter from Herman Cain:

But before I go, let me share with you my final thoughts on my campaign.  After months of crisscrossing this great land of ours and participating in over three hundred televised debates, I am being disqualified because of an extramarital affair.  And that raises the following question: are you fucking kidding me?

I mean, let’s get real.  I never heard of Libya.  I didn’t know whether that CNN dude’s name was Wolf or Blitz.  And my only training for running the #1 nation in the world was running its #8 pizza chain.  Yet none of that, I repeat, none of that disqualified me.  In fact, I was the front-fucking-runner, as long as I kept my 9-9-9 in my pants.  (I have no idea what I meant by that — I just like saying 9-9-9.)

It’s funny (though strangely less funny than what Cain actually said). That’s what Borowitz does–goes after the pain to make you laugh. But he missed out on one important feature of the pain that has been Cain’s campaign.

I was not backing him, but was defending him on the sexual harassment charges 🙁 Now, I am not so sure he is not a cad!

I won’t link to the source of that, as the person who wrote it had something like an expectation of being in a closed discussion. Besides, it doesn’t matter who said it. That comment follows the same trajectory as Cain’s support.

He was fine when four women said he sexually harassed them and assaulted at least one of them. Those four women could be dismissed on the campaign website as “money hungry,” “vile liars,” conducting a “liberal lynching” for “5 minutes of fame.” Their character and even their sanity could be called into question while Cain brought in more donations than ever. But then…

Then one woman showed up who said her interactions with Cain were consensual and long-lasting and that he helped to support her. And this is when everyone decided Cain’s campaign was over.

Our Republican candidates can be proudly ignorant. They can lack the basic empathy that keeps them from telling people they have only themselves to blame if they’re not rich. They can double-down on the stupid when it’s point out. They can have a history of credible harassment claims come to light.

In fact, all of this is apparently a winning strategy.

What they can’t do is treat more than one woman as something other than a disposable entitlement. That is the kiss of death. That is what we’ll believe.

If you need me, I’ll be banging my head on the wall over there.

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Where We Draw the Line
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6 thoughts on “Where We Draw the Line

  1. 1

    I think I’ll just try to be an optimist today, and conclude that the revelation about his affair was just the final straw. It’s kinda sad, though, when there were already plenty of things that clearly demonstrated that he would have been a lousy President, not the least of which is his astonishing ignorance.

  2. 3

    A more..charitable..spin on it, I think, is that long-term support constitutes emotional betrayal where sexual harassment is just guys being guys.

    Actually, after typing that out I don’t think that’s better at all.

  3. 4

    That’s an interesting point. My interpretation was that the affair was the final straw largely because it was such a credible allegation (her having receipts, phone records, etc.), but of course that idea rests on the premise that the other allegations were not credible, i.e. that there are hordes of women just waiting to make up false sexual harassment allegations.

  4. 5

    Well, it’s like this, see – if a man can’t manage to discipline his mistress sufficiently so she stays in the background, how many other uppity inferiors will manage to put one over him when he’s prez?

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