How to Survive Dating a Writer

Last April I was working hard on finishing a book I’ve been working on since about the same time the year before. Although I was already motivated by the desire to finish my manuscript, a deadline presented itself in the form of a very enticing writing contest. In order to reach my goal, several important things got put on the backburner, including time spent with my partners.

People who end up in relationships with writers soon learn what it means to be a novel widow. Sometimes when a deadline is looming, or inspiration is driving you, we writers can get a little hyper-focused on what we are doing to the exclusion of everything else.

To that effect, I wanted to offer some advice on how to survive a relationship with a writer.

Continue reading “How to Survive Dating a Writer”

How to Survive Dating a Writer
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Spherical Cow in a Vacuum

There is this meme that goes around from time to time. There are many variations, but a generalized summary is something along the lines of “I’m a better person than you because I don’t unfriend people whose politics I don’t agree with.” The meme is part of a trend of political apathy where people claim to not care about politics, or just write off the entire institution as being an exercise in futility where all parties are ultimately the same and nothing ever changes. The belief is that politics is nothing more than just theoretical ideas about governance, and not really anything tangible or applicable to the “real world.”

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Spherical Cow in a Vacuum

The Nice Guys of Seattle Grace: Part 1 McDreamy more like a McNightmare

CN: Abuse, Trauma, Assault, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression

I’ve been re-watching Grey’s Anatomy as my background show. I got pulled back into it after re-watching the episode where Dr. Bailey has to treat a Nazi. There were enough things going on in the episode that I just recognized based on watching the show a long time ago, and there are times when I can’t help it. Not remembering things, especially stories, irritates me and I feel the need to refresh my memory.

The following rant will contain spoilers for the first three maybe parts of 4 seasons.

One thing that struck me quite a bit on this go round, is how the nice men, the “Honourable men”, the so called good guys of Seattle Grace Hospital, are all abusive assholes.

Let’s start with Derek Shepherd aka McDreamy.

Continue reading “The Nice Guys of Seattle Grace: Part 1 McDreamy more like a McNightmare”

The Nice Guys of Seattle Grace: Part 1 McDreamy more like a McNightmare

Writing Update

I haven’t forgotten or given up on my goal to write every day. I’ve been working on the next chapter of my magical school for abandoned girls story which is taking a bit longer than a regular blog post. I’m also currently helping out some friends with move related activities, which has made it difficult to write posts in addition to the writing for the story I am working on. I will post the chapter and some additional blog posts once I am back in Ottawa tomorrow. (I didn’t go far, just not in Ottawa).

In the meantime if you would like to help us out, and help me procure the pain medication that keeps me able to continue creating, please consider donating to Alyssa’s fundraiser or to my paypal.

Writing Update

What’s the Story

In my last storytelling post, I wrote about how a lot of my paintings come with stories of their own. I usually just let it stay in my head, but I thought I might have some fun and actually tell you, dearest readers, some of the stories.

MEDUSA

Medusa from behind with a butterfly tattoo

Medusa is considered a monster, she is assumed to be so ugly that just looking at her face turns you to stone. But before she was ugly, she was beautiful. She had long lustrous hair, which is why it was changed in order to punish her. Her gorgeous locks turned instead into hissing snakes. But in her metamorphosis she went from being a victim to being a being of fear. Sometimes it is in change that you find yourself. For Medusa, metamorphosis is the meaning of her life, her own change and the change she brings on others. She commemorates this with a tattoo of a flying butterfly on her shoulder.

Continue reading “What’s the Story”

What’s the Story

Location, Location, Location

A friend of mine asked me recently whether I love writing and painting equally. It’s a questions I’ve thought a lot about. I spend a lot of time on both, and they take up a fair bit of my life. Ultimately however, I know the answer. I am a writer, more than that, I am a storyteller. Painting can and is a lot of fun. It is a great way to visually represent some of the things that happen in my head, and in the last few years I’ve let myself delve into it more fully than ever before.

But even my painting relates to my storytelling. Many of my paintings are of characters that I conceptualize and then decide to paint, or scenes from paintings I am trying to work out. Even when it doesn’t relate directly to something I write, my paintings are often about telling a story or at least suggesting a story on their own.

My writing is my most effective way of storytelling since it lets me take the time to fully work out the stories and put into it everything that I’ve wanted, but ultimately, it is the storytelling that drives me.

In another place, another time, I might have been a bard – telling stories, playing music. My social justice class is bard. I think that stories can teach, they can heal, they can move you, they can inflame you and entice you.

When I think about storytelling, however, this one anecdote comes to mind.

Continue reading “Location, Location, Location”

Location, Location, Location

Fear of Menstruation Is Why I Can’t Walk

On my Facebook memories page, I found an old Tumblr picture that includes stories from a series of girls talking about how their appendix burst because they didn’t realize the pain they were feeling wasn’t cramps. The post goes on to explain the difference between menstrual pain and appendix pain. The stories were a way for girls to discuss just how painful cramps can be – that appendicitis, which is known to be extremely painful, was not different enough from their regular menstrual pain to be noticeable.

I had shared the post, along with my commentary that the suggestion to talk to your parents or school nurse about pain, even if it was “only cramps”, ignored the reality of most people who experience menstruation who are told that they are overreacting and to suck it up. Many of us have been told that all women deal with it and that it’s not that bad. Even when my cramps would leave me shaking and with a fever, I was expected to go to class and carry on as though everything was normal. After all “every woman goes through the same thing”. (Not all women actually, and not all people who do are women, but that’s another post for another time). Continue reading “Fear of Menstruation Is Why I Can’t Walk”

Fear of Menstruation Is Why I Can’t Walk

We Tried to Warn You: We’re Still Trying

In the last few months, in the torrent of emotions being experience in regards to the events of the US election and it’s follow up, one of the most frequently encountered is disbelief. In the face of all the denial of the primaries and later the election proper, everyone is trying to process how this could possibly have happened.

Laments are taking place on twitter, on Facebook, and other social media. People are trying to parse how deal breakers have suddenly stopped being deal breakers. How certain words, behaviours, and symbols have suddenly become commonplace when we remember when they were once considered vile and worthy of disgust.

On the one hand, I understand the shock, the disbelief. It’s one thing to know that things are not as great as they seem, to know how much bigotry is insinuated into the society we live in, grow up in, gain our morals in, but it is another to face the glowing orange symbol of it. On the other hand, however, there is a part of me that wants to yell at all the people crowing their disbelief: “We tried to warn you! We fucking told you this would happen and you mocked us and called us children.” Continue reading “We Tried to Warn You: We’re Still Trying”

We Tried to Warn You: We’re Still Trying

February Self-Challenge

I’m finding myself feeling increasingly overwhelmed with everything going on. Between the horror in the US, the increasing ableist microaggressions populating my world, the fear of my friends, and the never ending struggle to make ends meet, I’ve been finding myself struggling to write. Not because I have nothing to say but because sometimes it can feel like talking about anything other than the trash fire going on feels wrong.

I know it’s not. I know that no matter what happens, these issues still have to be talked about. That even if the worst should come to pass in the US, it is still important to talk about the issues that got us here so that we can fight it completely. Not let fascism and Nazism regrow like a cancer, but excise it fully. I know that self-care and happiness in times like these, in times where you realize that many people like you might die in the coming years because so much of the world just doesn’t think your life is worth saving. That self-care means making sure that you have the strength to keep fighting another day.

To this effect, I am going to take a challenge that I’ve seen Alex Gabriel recommend and other bloggers on this site try out. I am going to commit myself to posting at least 1 post per day this month. They won’t all be serious content . Some might be excerpts of stories I am working on, recipes, or links to videos I’ve been working on making. Either way, once a day I will post some content.

Want to help encourage me? Please post a comment, or consider becoming one of our patreon patrons.

ADDENDUM: I feel the need to add that since I do most of my writing in the middle of the night “DAY” might be a bit of a misnomer lol. For example, the post written for Feb 2 may well not get posted until after midnight.

February Self-Challenge