Thanks to @FeministaJones for digging into the Twittarz to find these “fantastic” bits of “wisdom” from the University of Who The Fuck Asked You?
This just in: You’re a whore if you bleed for a day or more.
“Lower dimensions”? Like Dimension X? Are we in the TMNT universe?
To keep things fair, here’s a lady with no clue about how uteri work.
Well, it’s not like the uterine lining doesn’t replenish itself after each cycle OH WAIT IT TOTALLY DOES.
Look, I get it. I really do. Periods can be pretty gross and inconvenient and expensive to deal with. I have hated every single cycle I have had since I was 12, even the ones that made it clear that “You haven’t fucked up and got yourself knocked up this month”. I’ve ceased having them thanks to using birth control (no starving myself required).
But damn, there are more than enough reasons to dislike them. No need to pull others out of your ass. No. Really. And frankly, I have a theory about why these hotepy motherfuckers want soooo badly to make periods gone (Ms. Pro-HOtep aside).
Periods make having the sex inconvenient and gross. For some.
Let me reiterate that real quick, because I can already hear the keyboards going.
FOR SOME (and no, you don’t have to tell me if period sex or earning your red wings does it for you. No really, I don’t wanna know. I’m not asking. It’s beside the point. Please don’t).
Back to my point, I get why some dudes would feel rather put out when their partner is riding the cotton pony, having a visit from Aunt/Uncle Flo, endearing shark week, etc. And I understand that for the Hotep crowd, a blakk kween should always be ready to receive the seed of her king at all times because nation building outbreeding the white man whatthefuckever. So yes, making menstruation sound like this unnatural curse of a thing, it being the fault of some mysterious fall makes ‘sense’? The sort of sense that requires having one’s head so far up their own asses that you can lick your own uvula.
To translate, it’s a Tweet from Breitbart’s “Technical” writer Milo Yiannopoulos that says:
LADIES: If you use any of the following words hot men will stop hitting on you:
privilege
cis
genderqueer
poly
nonbinary
fluid
feminist
One second, I need to stop giggling. This is ridiculous and it makes me wonder yet again if this is some elaborate trolling attempt. But I know better, and the giggles turn into a deep painful sigh and a roll of the eyes. Oh look, I can see my brain.
First off, Milo, honey, we already have a problematic gay man who dishes out relationship advice. We don’t need another and we certainly don’t need advice this wrong.
I’d thought I’d start off the party with something light and cute, just to lure new readers into a sense of peace and calm, thinking “This Niki person is rather delightful” and then SLAM BAM right into the dropping of the f bombs and creative uses of the word “douche”.
Then I was introduced to YADA this week.
And that was the point where I decided to say “Fuck it, give ’em a full blast in the face of some serious Seriously?!?”
Well, yes, YADA, if you starve yourself enough, your periods will indeed stop. But we call that anorexia, and that’s a disorder.
Then I discovered more people, mostly cismen, who seem to believe that having a menstrual period is unnatural.
Yep, that would be another dude telling a woman that periods are unnatural. It’s even in a book, so you know it’s facts!
Oh wait! There’s some words of wisdom for cismen about proper ejaculations and their heartrate. Auuuum, come with the earth, fellas!
Just another day in Hotep Land, where Ashy Ankh Negros romp and play.
(EDITED TO ADD: Now don’t get Hotepery mixed up with Afrocentrism. One can celebrate and honor our ancestry without going all the way to the extreme “White People are the Devil, cleanse your third eye, brother” side. Hat tip to Negrodamus for pointing that out in the comments)
What’s a Hotep, you may ask? Take the sheer fuckery from white supremacists, mix a bunch of Egyptian symbols that are poorly misunderstood, add spoonfuls of misguided black pride, throw in cups and cups of misogyny and homophobia, a dash of fucked understanding of science and medicine and the English language, and then drop it off a cliff. The resulting mess is Hotep.
These folks (because there are women who subscribe to this shit) claim to know about the roots of our African ancestry and must inform us all of how brainwashed they are by the white man. They take #StayWoke to extreme levels, trying to wake us all up with nonsense. They hide their hatred of women and the celebration of toxic masculinity behind the concept of “getting back to our roots”. It’s pretty sad and infuriating as fuck.
Misogyny (or specifically misogynoir)
Hoteps claim to looooove black women. We are queens (or Kweens?). Our wombs are where nations can be built. We are the rock the “blakk” man can rely on in this struggle.
As long as we don’t speak up for ourselves. Or dress sexy for ourselves. Or refuse to put up with their shit. Or expect more out of men. Or are lesbians or bisexual but unwilling to do threesomes with them and another woman (cause that’s hawt). Or claim that a black man raped them.
Then we’re at best, brainwashed and at worst, agents working for the white man to bring the blakk man down. It’s fucked.
And they do engage in basic misogyny too. By bedding women of other races, it’s like poking the “whyte” man in the eye. But heaven forbid a black woman date someone of another race, that’s bringing the downfall of the black race.
If you haven’t noticed, Hotep is all about uplifting the black man at the expense of everyone else.
Toxic Masculinity
Are you a trans woman? Then you’re unnatural, feminized, affected by the society that tries to feminize black men.
Are you a trans man? Then you’re trying to suppress the black man by “trying to be a man”.
Are you gay? Are you a cisman who cares for his kids or enjoys things that are tagged ‘feminine’? Then you can see where I’m going here.
For people who claim that being stereotyped is terrible, they cling to the image of a roughnecked oversexed manly man. A man who engages in “nation building” aka sleep with a lot of women to make babies for them to care for while the man continues to, well, build nations. A man who is tough, not in touch with his emotions, answers insults with violence. Toxic all around.
If you haven’t noticed, Hotep is also about allowing black men to be irresponsible asshats.
Misunderstanding of Science and History
You really want to get a good hard look at Hotepery? Watch the series Hidden Colors. Well, first, get really, really drunk (or high, if you’re able) first and then watch this ahistorical piece of garbage. I’m aware that we’re not exactly represented in history classes, but making up shit like “black people never lived in caves, like white people did” isn’t the way. According to the first two videos in this series, nearly everything good in the world was made by black or mixed people. EVERYTHING.
Oh right, and they dip their brains into Egyptian religion and artistry and claim it’s our heritage. It’s like they either forgot or have no idea that the slave trade of our ancestors came from west Africa. Egypt isn’t in west Africa, but telling them that would prove my brainwashing. It’s already bad enough that I’m partnered with a white man.
As for medicine? It drips with pseudoscience, as you can see from the top image. Periods are unnatural, cauliflower doesn’t contain carbon, relaxers get into your brain, single mothers make their sons gay, and so on. Essential oils can cure everything, white science developed AIDS to depopulate black people…
…hold on, that shit is one of the reasons why there is so much AIDS denialism in Africa. Fuck these guys.
You name a psuedoscience, and you can find a Hotep promoting it in the name of healing ‘our’ people from white man’s medicine.
If you haven’t noticed, Hotep is about twisting what we’ve learned to suit their fucked up agenda.
In Conclusion
Fuck these guys. Again. Fuck their disrespect of black women, fuck their support of the toxic masculinity that is killing themselves and trans women of color, fuck their lack of understanding of science, fuck their lack of understanding of ANYTHING.
Fuck their abuse of English, with substituting “EYE” for “I” and “overstand” for “understand”. Fuck their insistence on calling other people ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ like attempting to establish a kinship would make their bullshit go down easier – also, we’re not at church.
The best way to combat this shit is to laughatthem. As frustrating and condescending as they can be, they don’t have nearly as much power as they claim to be.
Today in “Holy Shit, Hypocrisy”, kick ass Twitter user @CardsAgstHrsmt has been posting Tweets from dudebros which say one thing…and then some pictures of them that say something else:
Yup. Women who pose half-naked lose the respect of dudes who happily post pictures of themselves…half-naked?!? Really?
Just look at them, shameless and proud of their near nakedness, posting pictures and showing off. Would you want your kid to bring such hussies home all like, “I want to marry him!”. Nay, I say, nay! Just look at how little respect these men have for themselves!
Wait, what was that? I shouldn’t hold these men to the same standards as they’re holding women? Why, I wonder? It’s not like there’s a double standard at play OH WAIT YES THERE IS!
See, boys (may I call you boys? Tough, I’m calling you boys), what you’re doing is what most mature adults would call “Being a hypocritical jackwagon”. I’m going to assume that you probably are very aware of it, and are exploiting the fact that it’s a-okay for you to pose half-naked and get no shit for it, while a woman doing the same thing would be buried under the weight of the shit she would receive: creepy comments, harassment, calls of “slut” and “whore”, etc. And heaven forbid if a woman held the same standards as you do.
“It’s just the way it is!” some folks will argue. “It’s a double standard, but there’s nothing we can do about it! It’s natural/human nature/*insert other evo psych bullshit here*!”
The only ones holding up that double standard are you, while the rest of us are trying to get past that sort of nonsense. How many of these assholes (or those who nod right along in agreement) might have Tumblrs full of half naked women to wank to? Are any of them fans of upskirt/downshirt pics? Then it takes some damn nerve to judge anyone who volunteers to show off their bodies with the same pride these guys show off their pecs, abs, and chest?
My flabber is gasted. Or it would be if I wasn’t oh so painfully aware of sexism. Do better boys.
Or at least cover up. I can see your nipples.*
*Obvious Disclaimer is Obvious: Yes, I know the answer isn’t for everyone to actually put clothes on, but for everyone to be free enough to wear whatever amount of clothing they want, snap photos, and post them on any social media site they have access to. Duh. Now you don’t have to argue for/against it in the comments. Cheers!
By now everyone’s heard of the rat bastard who held hostages and killed and injured people at a CO Planned Parenthood. It’s…how do you even start to process that?
It happened last Friday, and I was reloading the local news page over and over, took a nap and went right back to it. I needed to know when or if they would apprehend this fucker. And of course they did, alive because white, even though he killed one of their own, but that’s a different rant.
The next day, I went to escort after a long break (I was sick, then Turkey Day, and oh, my father’s been contacting me after like over a decade of silence from me. Shit’s been stressful as fuck, kay?). One of the clinic staff checked in with each of us as we suited up, just telling us to be careful, to be aware, and thanking us for showing up even after the day before happened.
Me last Saturday, failing at proper prep for the cold weather.
Now escorting has always been serious business to me, even as I joke and make fun of the merry band of fools. Each patient is important to me, and getting them into the building with as little harassment as possible is my JOB. Serious business, folks.
I always known that clinic violence was a risk, but Friday really made it hit home. Let’s be real, we’re practically screaming “Shoot us first” in our bright yellow vests, standing outside. To these people, this ignorant jackasses, we’re the handmaidens of Satan – yes even the guys – escorting poor innocent ‘mothers’ into Hell. To someone entitled* enough to think that taking matters into their own hands will do a damned thing, we’re sitting targets.
And on the real, that’s pants-shittingly terrifying. Having to swallow that shit and show up was emotionally draining. I had so many excuses – allergies, frost on the car windows, now I’m tired from scraping all that damn frost off the windows, now the windows need defrosting because I still can’t see, do I really want to do this? We’re in Minnesota, the protesters are more annoying than scary. But it doesn’t have to be a regular, it only needs to be one person. Can I really do this?
I can do this.
I will do this.
I NEED to do this.
Of course, the accusations of ‘mentally ill loner’ are being thrown about because white and that’s another rant. Let’s get one thing straight – even if he has a diagnosis of a mental illness, doesn’t matter. It’s the entitlement that is the issue. Shit, I’m crazy. My grasp on reality sometimes isn’t all there. Some days I’m filled with so much self loathing that I stay in bed. Other days, anxiety fills me with so much dread that I don’t leave the house for days. Also, I know which end of a gun to point when I want something destroyed, and I’m a slightly less than shitty shot.
But the thought of going up to another human and blowing a hole in them makes me sick. I could never do it. Many of us with mental illnesses couldn’t do it either. Fuck, we’re most likely to BE victims of violence, so please keep that in mind as the same bullshit rhetoric we always hear when a white guy gets murdery is being trotted out.
Please keep the three victims of this shooting and all of the injured in mind.
Please keep the clinics that have suffered violence in mind.
Please keep the fact that the faction that keeps fueling this fire has the nerve to continue to call themselves “pro-life” in mind.
Please keep the security measures clinics and doctors have to go through just to do their jobs in mind.
This shit isn’t easy. It weighs on my mind every Saturday.
*I’m calling it entitlement because, well it is. It takes a nerve of steel to think that YOU, yes, YOU, you special snowflake you, will be the savior of babies for a day or a week or forever by destroying other people’s lives and/or livelihoods with your gun or your bomb or your vandalism or your wee little hatchet. That is some entitled bullshit right there, especially when your actions will have no negative effect on the fact that ABORTIONS HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN, YOU FUCKING FUCKS! You ain’t stopping shit. You’re just giving the less violent pro-lifer fodder to secretly wank over while they publicly denounce your fucked up actions. Fuckers.
Your Fave is Really, Really, REALLY Problematic.
Also, I believe that we will have moved ahead as a species once anyone uttering this sort of nonsense is treated as if they’ve just admitted that they enjoy congress with baby rabbits.
Not just the depravity of bestiality, but the sheer “I’d kick you in the face if I was able”-ity of not even waiting until the poor unwilling animal is mature.
The sort of reaction that is slowly backing away at all times, at parties and dinners and on public transport.
The sort of reaction that when you get on a plane, and you see that you’re sitting next to such a person, you legally get that entire row to yourself as this person is thrown off for being odious by simply existing.
“Congrats, you get the Scott Adams special. Would you like a free drink of your choice and a pillow that isn’t just filled with air and wishes?”
…until they get the good sense not to utter such junk in public as if nothing is horribly, horribly wrong with it.
…until social pressures keeps these creatures from sharing their foul breathed musings with anyone but their own ilk, far, far away from decent people who believe in odd concepts like “consent”.
…also, if you haven’t realized that Scott Adams is in the running for Prince of Ain’t Shit Mountain, where have you been? What bubble have you existed in? Are you renting space, because I’d like to spend some time in it, please?
So, today is Saturday and that means I get up early, gather my wits and my cane and stand out in front of a reproductive health clinic, watching for and assisting patients getting inside. We have protesters and so-called “sidewalk counselors” who try their damnest to harass each and every person they think is going in for an abortion.
Why do I call it harassment, you may wonder? Because they can’t take “no”, “no thank you”, “leave me alone”, “get out of my face”, and/or “fuck off” as an answer, and when you continue to pester someone after they have refused your attention, that’s harassment in my book and in the books of most reasonable people.
You may also be wondering now, “why doesn’t anyone get the police involved?”. Because that means the harassed has to make the call, come out of the clinic to make a statement, and potentially miss their appointment. Given that abortions are rather time-sensitive deals (they cost more and become more complicated procedures the greater the gestation period), it’s not good for the patient to have to wait and deal with this nonsense.
And nothing pleases an anti like someone unable to make that appointment.
Here in the Twin CIties, we haven’t heard much from the far off the deep end anti organization Abolish Human Abortion, or as I will be referring to them, AHAssholes. This is a Protestant movement who thinks if they bleat for Jesus loud and long enough, abortion will just vanish and no one would even dream of doing such a sinful thing.
Yeah, not exactly in touch with reality, these guys.
Starting a few month ago, I noticed a few AHAssholes at my clinic, standing there, holding their signature signs.
One is Black and when I commented to my fellow escort that the signs were large and gross, started calling me “sister” and trying to get me to explain why I found them gross.
Strike one: Never call me sister if we’re on opposite sides of what I can do with my body
Strike two: I don’t have to speak to you
Strike three; You’re AHA. Fuck offf.
Frankly, if you’re Black and find it okay to hang with a bunch of ‘abolitionists’ for fetuses, given the history our people have had with abolition of not only our bodies but what we chose to do with them, then you were fuck out of strikes to begin with.
Anyway, their numbers and their fucking signs grew, and now we have a dedicated little mob.
They even figured out how to lash their shitty signs to the poles so the wind doesn’t blow them away.
Given what I have seen from reports from other escorts who have this infestation, I was expecting more irrational and obnoxious behavior out of them.
And I was right. Calling patients murderers, standing by cars until patients get out (a move that our usual Catholics are ace at), fucking around with the property line even after being warned, and just being all around squirrely.
Today, they held up a poor patient who didn’t know she didn’t have to talk to them for minutes, filling her head will all kinds of lies. I assured her once we were inside, that there were actual counselors upstairs (not 25 year olds with no training in actual counseling), who will listen and honor her choice, minus the obvious agenda.
As I came out, one of the AHAssoles fired off at me. “Don’t pretend like you don’t have an agenda yourself.” Since “no interaction” is a rule for escorting here, I merely turned to my fellow escort and keep talking.
Since I couldn’t respond on the sidewalk, I will here. And as usual, don’t expect me to be nice.
Dear AHAsshole,
You bet I have an agenda. I don’t hide it for a second.
My agenda is to get patients inside of the clinic with dignity and safety.
My agenda is to support.
My agenda is to protect.
My agenda is to make your shitshow difficult to perform.
While you lie, I make a patient laugh.
While you fill them with fear, I give them compassion.
While you talk over them, I listen.
When they give me reasons, it’s because they want to, not because I’m demanding it from them.
And I honor those reasons.
My agenda is access to a safe, legal procedure that 99% percent of those having it will feel relief.
My agenda is choice and honoring that choice.
On the other hand, your agenda is fucked. Your agenda swarms around people and harasses them. Your agenda makes you act as if basic social niceties don’t apply to you. Your agenda is full of lies and deliberate shock plays. Your agenda devalues the role the one with the pregnancy, all in the name of a non sentient fetus. And I’m not just pulling this out of my ass: I’ve seen your work:
What about the body of the person carrying the fetus? Don’t they matter? Also, why are you gendering a fetus? Most abortions happen before gender can be determined.
With your ridiculous sounding offers to adopt someone’s baby right then and there and your sanctimonious wishes that patients don’t put themselves into hell. It would be completely ridiculous, if it didn’t cause our patients distress.
It would be ridiculous if you didn’t picket high schools that have on site clinic for their students, like your recent one here at Southwest High? I’m sure the kids were so moved by this shit:
I mean, these pamphlets start off like conspiracy theorist boilerplate:
…and then devolve into the same spit-flecked babble you’d get from those guys who show up at festivals with those big “God Hates” signs that are just a list of things that I’ve either done or know someone who has (really next time, read one of those signs and just see how many “sins” you’ve done or are, like Homosexuality or Rebellious Women or Drunkard):
Look at that. If you’re going to wank on about god, at least be as ironically amusing as the label on a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s soap.
So yeah, dear AHAsshole. I do have an agenda. My agenda is to stop you. From escorting to teaching about escorting, to writing these posts, to spreading information about what an abortion really is minus your scare tactics, I will use true compassion and education to combat your bullshit.
So, the newest installment of Mortal Kombat, that old standby for hilariously over the top finishing moves, is getting another design change. And boy oh boy has it got the gamerbros in a tiz. Are they leaving out a beloved character (well, actually yes. Sorry, Jade fans)? Removing the “Fatalities” and replacing them with handshakes?
“I can still make Kitana slice and dice her opponents into mincemeat, but not with smaller tits and a believable waistline! Oh noes!”
The comments are headbangingly hilarious, they won’t buy this game, the feminists have won this one, and of course, bringing up targeted and celebrated feminist critic Anita Sarkessian like she had anything to do with this:
“Damn you, evil avatar of everything that is wrong with gaming, the BeHooped One, who calls herself Anita. She and her horde of screetching SJWs have razed our precious games, sucking the sheer delight out of them. Oh woe is us! Woe, I say!”
That is my own exaggeration, but it’s not that far from the truth. Once you start comparing her to Rush Limbaugh, I can’t even take your shit seriously. Whine about the “double standard” of body images while blithely ignoring that it’s all a male power fantasy? Go get someone else to change your pissy diaper, because I don’t have time for that shit.
What really gives me the risk of a concussion from headdesking is the claims of censorship. You can see it in the comments, over and over again, claims of censorship of this highly popular game that is going to be widely released in April.
Censorship.
I’d pull up the definition of censorship, but if you can read these words, you can look it up yourself. A company deciding on their own to listen to certain criticisms and take them seriously enough to make a change that is purely cosmetic? Was there a campaign I missed? A threatened boycott? An actual boycott, planned by feminists to make NetherRealms miserable? Did the government step in?
I don’t think so, but to hear these bros whine, you’d think NR was given marching orders straight from Feminazi Central on threat of total annihilation or something. I hate to break it to the dudes, but no. And saying anything that sounds like that is an insult to the business sense of gaming companies. I know, I know, having to share your toys with the likes of me and other gamers who want to play while actively being not straight, cis, male or even white makes you all feel like you’re losing something, but you’re going to have to deal. And companies are realizing this and changing on their own. And no matter how many tantrums you throw, or words you twist until they have no meaning at all, we’re only going forward.
And don’t worry, MKX is going to sell like hotcakes no matter what the pissbabies say, so I say good on NetherRealm. Keep up the bloodspatter.
