Speakeasy #15

Welcome to the social thread at the Progressive Pub. Here at the Speakeasy, you can metaphorically put your feet up, grab a virtual beverage from your resident bartender (me), and socialize with the regulars. Gab, share recipes, share news, rage about your problems or the problems of the world, discuss impending vacations, share book recommendations, talk about your jobs and your families, your hopes and dreams, and pretty much anything else you want. Everyone is welcome, just be kind to one another.


Speakeasy #15

100 thoughts on “Speakeasy #15

  1. 6

    Happy New Year, you wonderful people!
    Let’s hope that 2017 sees a lot of fight and action.

    I just read the phrase “anatomically correct pronoun”. TERFs, I can’t even.

  2. 7

    Happy new year, I guess.

    I fucked up.

    I fucked up really bad.

    My emotional levels were peaking again and I really needed a place to vent. I can’t vent to either my relatives or my friends including my therapist anymore because they will just invalidate me. I tried talking to someone on here but it went completely the opposite of how I wanted it to turn out. All I said was that I wished people would quit offending each other as it’s so pointless, and this led to me receiving a harsh warning. Unfortunately, I interpreted it as a threat and I ended up provoking a conflict, saying things that really should have better been kept to myself.

    I think I’ve mentioned before that I have Asperger’s Syndrome, question my sexuality (mainly turned on by younger men even in my mid twenties) while at the same time am grossed out by sex in general, and I am agnostic formerly Methodist. I don’t have a self-image problem, but I really really hate growing a beard or hair anywhere else on my body besides the top of my head and my testis. I’m trying very hard not to say that my Asperger’s made me do this like Sugar Motta from Glee.

    Following Trump’s election, my mother and I got into a heated argument. My mother is completely oblivious to everything Trump has done and said, and she told me that this is the way people evolve. In her own words, she’s pissed off by immigration because she feels that jobs are being taken from people like me, but I don’t care. A few days later, I sat down with my current therapist and she proceeded to utterly disrespect me by saying that “everyone’s entitled to their opinion” and that free speech is so magical. It was the same old blind patriotism, prattling on and on about how our country is so much better than any other.

    Honestly, never before in my life have I felt so policed. I was policed by my previous Christian therapist when I told him that struggled against conformity and homophobia, I was policed by some stoner who told me that people don’t change when I simply suggested that there was too much hatred in the world, and I am being policed now by friend and family for standing up against fascism. Hell, my mother doesn’t even know what fascism means or how to identify it. What’s worse is that they seem to be projecting it all onto me. They’re both making me sound like the intolerant one.

    If I’m banned, I’ll leave, but I don’t know what the hell to do with my life anymore.

  3. 9

    John Doe:
    I’m sorry you’re going through such struggles.
    You’re not banned from here. I just want this thread to be conflict free (along with bigotry free). The Speakeasy is a social thread that is open to all, but there are rules (which I thought were fairly well laid out in the intro to each iteration, but if not, questions can always be asked and I’m open to rewriting it for greater clarity).

    One thing that some people do is simply follow along without commenting for a while just to get a feel for the people here and what is or is not allowed.

  4. 13

    John Doe:
    Sargon is one of several piece of shit, bigoted atheist YouTubers. He is vile and IMO has no qualities that redeem him such that you should give a damn about what he has to say.

    Just my two cents.

  5. 16

    Happy New Year, all!

    Most of the holiday break was spent off-line and getting caught up on some TV shows – Luke Cage and Westworld among them.

    Today was “move into new cubicle” day, so a somewhat easy transition to the new year so far.

  6. 19

    I don’t know if anyone watches animation but there are these two shows that are stuck in my mind, one for the better and the other for the worse.

    Let’s talk about the positive one first. There is this one honest-to-God cartoon, not anime, made in Japan called “Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt.” Created by Hiroyuki Imaishi, rumor has it that this show spawned after the man went on a drunken bender here in the U.S. Although it was inspired by South Park, a show that Imaishi has paid tribute to a few times in the past, I find “Panty and Stocking” a thousand times more humorous and entertaining than South Park will ever be. The animation is wild and off the chain, the situations are hilarious, and the art style is the grooviest I’ve ever seen.

    Plus, I am absolutely in love with the main female characters because of how assertive and independent they both are. I might get in trouble but these two are total bitches and I adore them for that. They do what they want, when they want, and how they want regardless of anyone’s unwarranted opinion. This show majorly inspired to get into writing animation and comics. It also taught me to get naked, be all I can be, and that some walls are meant to be broken down.

    Now for the other that negatively impacted me. I know that Steven Universe is all the rage, but I going to talk about different show on Cartoon Network. The one cartoon on that network that I feel had the most negative impact on me was, I’m so sorry, “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.” For all of it’s bluster about the importance of friendship and the imagination, it was one of the most mean-spirited and spiteful shows I have ever seen next to South Park and Family Guy. I feel that it was basically for the most part trying to rip-off an animated sitcom from FOX.

    Very few characters were relateable save for two and it was most of the time one big exercise in obnoxiousness. The only two characters on that show that felt a deep personal connection with are Mac and Frankie. Mac is practically a mirror to myself as we both have difficulty socializing, hate disorder and pressure, but are incredibly creative and smart. Instead of pairing up Mac and Frankie as lovers, as most of the fandom seems to do, I am of the small number that views the two as probably the only productive adult-to-child relationship the show had to offer, brother and sister if you will. Other than that, though, this show had so many missed opportunities to talk about such things like bullying, abandonment, and loneliness.

    The reason I wanted to open up about animation is because not even this subject is safe from getting caught in the so-called “SJW” wars. You can’t write a non-traditional character in a non-traditional story without getting called out. What the hell are people so afraid of?

  7. 20

    Happy New Year all! I hope you all had a passable time and are braced for the next year.

    My mother had two falls over the Christmas period. Luckily no bones were broken. However, she’s living downstairs now, to avoid the treacherous staircase. She’s becoming increasingly forgetful and somewhat confused. My brother and I are concerned and doing our best to help. What doesn’t help is that my brother is in another country and I’m an hour and a half away.

    It could be a difficult year!

  8. 21

    Sending my good thoughts. That could be difficult indeed. Does she have something like an emergency alarm?

    What would you think if I told you I was busy with christmas preparations?

  9. 22


    What would you think if I told you I was busy with christmas preparations?

    1. You’re definitely not a puritan.
    2. You’re really really far behind.
    3. You’re starting an ultimately failed attempt to be on time this year.
    4. You’re going to Armenia tomorrow, then to Moldova on Saturday.
    5. You’re making Bobalki.

  10. 23

    John Doe:
    I approved your comment but it went into moderation bc of your use of ‘bitches’.

    Please avoid the use of any gendered slurs in the future.

    Thank you.

  11. 26

    I never know when my comments will go through, but now looking back maybe I said something that made my posts go into the filter. IDK?
    My job is sucking still but the money is good and the Grandson(abusive as fuck) is leaving on Sunday.
    I hope everyone is well as can be in spite of the shitty trump.

  12. 28

    I am sorry for the situation with your Mom and hoping the best for your family.

    The family I work for is so dysfunctional it makes me feel relatively healthy. I am glad I am creating a chosen family for myself.

    The holidays were shit, I am glad it’s over and done with for another year. I had something happen to my hand on my birthday and I am hoping it was just stress of work and not a new thing with my arthritis. My right hand , wrist, and up into my arm quit working. Just quit. I was a lefty for xmas and I couldn’t use my right hand and arm for about three days. Whatever!

    Attending the UU has gotten me to face my transition head on. I have decided to present ambiguously because I have to live in two worlds and I decided to change and develop a more masculine presentation after this old woman dies. I really can’t take all the questions though and have to figure out how to work through that.
    Why did you cut your hair so short?
    Kinda masculine isn’t it?
    You look like a man! 🙂

    My youngest daughter asked to do my makeup on christmas. I looked into her big brown eyes and told her I was sorry she was having such a hard time with my gender presentation. She looked sad and walked away. I went into the bathroom and cried. She doesn’t understand why I would want to be ugly when I could be pretty. I just keep doing my thing.

    She did say she would like to go to the fellowship with me and I think that would be cool because she could see people who are not mortified by my appearance and like me.

    John Doe, I am sorry things seem to be sucking for you. I hope you can find some supporting people to be with in your life.

    Happy New Year to all of my pub peeps,

  13. 29

    It’s cal:
    I’m sorry about the hand, and I hope your daughter comes around to recognizing that your gender presentation is part of who you are. If she loves you, she needs to accept you as you are and love you for who you are, rather than who she wants you to be (or thinks you should be).

  14. 30


    3. You’re starting an ultimately failed attempt to be on time this year.

    People have long told me I should sell my stuff at christmas marktes, but I always figured it was too much of a hassle: Making all the goodies for one stall, standing in the cold for up to three days, I don’t have time for that. But on New Years Eve my friends mentioned that they were considering to participate in their village christmas market because they noticed that it didn’t have a single arts and crafts stall. It’s only a single day, we would be a team of friends and none of us would have to make all the goods nor enough for a big three days market.
    We’ll also sell warm Kinder chocolate liquor….

    You’re a great person and parent and I’m sure your daughter will understand that and understand that you being her parent who loves her dearly is the most important thing and that you’ll always be that.

  15. 31

    @ Tony Thompson
    I didn’t mean that to be hurtful at all but I understand.
    You get my point though, right?

    Apparently there is this news going around that BLM allegedly kidnapped someone and whites are saying it’s a hate crime. Personally, I’ve heard someone by the name of BigAl2K6 talk about this before with a group called the Jena 6. He was outraged that these people were being defended even after all the crap they went through. He apparently said something along the lines of “all hate crimes are equal just like all murders are hate crimes.” This man, BigAl2K6, also explicitly dropped the n-bomb when he posted another rant on YouTube about kids who were interested in rap music.

    I think his work is archived on YouTube and he does even have a deviantArt channel.

    I offer no sympathy. If you ask me, this is what a true SJW does if they even exist. True SJW’s believes that everyone is equally both the victim and the culprit without taking into account the dynamics of power and privilege. Also, if there is such a thing a “political correctness,” phrases that like “everyone’s entitled to their opinion” are what truly promote it. The idea that everyone must remain neutral no matter the case.

  16. 32

    It’s Cal thanks, I hope your family soon comes to terms with your gender presentation and support you.

    Giliell I’m going over to Mum’s tomorrow to install a Key Safe. Then I can arrange for an alarm to be installed. It should provide some peace of mind.

    Re preparing for Christmas: I thought you might be celebrating the Orthodox Christmas Day, which is tomorrow!

  17. 33

    I’ve hit my breaking point.

    After willfully voting for two men who will try there damndest to make sure that I and others like me will never be able to live the life that I and they want to live, after showing complete apathy to this country’s greatest massacre, I’m ready to come out to my friends and family that I don’t love them anymore. I need to assert my independence and the only way I can do it is by severing all of my ties with everyone who voted for Trump and Pence. It’s beyond shameful that they would hold onto the comfort of their “opinions” than their delicate humanity.

    I need to say it.

  18. 34


    … village christmas market…a single day…a team of friends…

    sounds like a great idea!
    We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

    We’ll also sell warm Kinder chocolate liquor….

    perhaps as lagnaippe instead? after all, it’ll be christmas.

  19. 36

    Hi All,
    Tony!, Giliell, Bragimike Thanks, I know my daughter will come along eventually. I feel a bit aloof like I still have’t found my niche yet but I won’t give up. It’s the living between these two worlds that makes it weird. I can see why folks move to new cities and such.
    Today seems better for my hands and arms. I was diagnosed with RA as a kid but the last 2 years have been painful and tight and sometimes I feel like I am being crushed by my body. Other days I don’t even think about it. More of those days please!

    One nice thing about the holidays is it forced me to do a little shopping and I got some new sweaters and stuff. Yay for comfort in the small things.

    Stay safe folks ,

  20. 39

    What I am about to say is probably the most spiteful thing anybody could ever say about anyone, but I don’t care what happened to zamii070. As an autistic who is teeter-tottering between queer and asexual, if anyone willfully misrepresented me, I would happily make that person pay. This is my very identity that is being fucked with.

  21. 40

    It looks like I just ruined this whole thread.

    I consider myself a very spiteful person who likes to do the opposite of what I’ve been told. While I am on the subject of fandom policing, I support safe spaces in fandom mainly because I’m tired of being pressured by free speech thumpers. I’m also tired of these people projecting their victimhood onto me when I fight back. To these people, criticizing someone for screwing up is thought policing and bullying.

  22. 41

    John Doe
    It’s more like I cannot make great sense of what you’re writing.

    More like a coven of sisters 😉

    perhaps as lagnaippe instead? after all, it’ll be christmas.

    Na, remember the power of brand names…

    The house is progressing in leaps and bounds, which is good, because this is my last week off before that training position starts.

  23. 44

    I don’t see what is being misunderstood here, giliell. I’m trying to take back control of my life from politicians and random nobodies who feel that they have the right to dictate me for being defective and deviant. Hell, I’ve got half the mind to turn the tables on them all, give them a taste of what it’s like to be a minority on three fronts. I’m more than happy to tell any bigot who says that I am unnatural or wrong or ill to fuck off and die in car accident whether they be a senator, news TV or radio blowhard, church goer, or random nobody et cetera.

  24. 45

    John Doe
    It’s not that. You tend to use lots of nyms of people I don’t know, so I often lose track and don’t know who exactly you’re talking about.

    Well, I’ll be 38 come next week, but one thing really hasn’t changed since I was 14: When I’m with my friends, we need at least on hour each time to vent about our parents. Or parents in law that is…

  25. 46

    During the Steven Universe controversy, someone came up and basically told me that nobody owes me visibility. I want to hurt this person very badly.

  26. 47

    Hell, I think I am ready to become a full-on sociopath if it is the most efficient means of being able to live my life. I willing to hurt as many people as possible on all sides if it means putting an end to these goddamn pointless and pathetic wars. SJW or anti-SJW, they are all FUCKASSES who I pray die in a car accident!

    Christ on a cross, I hate humans…

  27. 48

    Hey folks, (TLDR warning)
    I’d like to keep in touch more, but I’m just so tired. I’ve been working endless hours for the last .. two months? Might be more. I have no idea. It seems like forever.
    6th is a holiday here, so I actually had three days off work – 6th plus the weekend . It came as a surprise, considering I worked at least part of both previous holiday weekends. But the boss figured out we were all half-dead and it would be counterproductive to keep us working, and let us rest. I felt rested for about half of Monday and today I’m ready to cry again.
    Ever had about 20 people yelling at you, blaming you for all kinds of shit in their company and blaming your software that they haven’t even started using yet (you were just supposed to teach them to use it) for everything? Yeah, it’s not very nice.
    And of course, after I’m done with that rather intensive on-site user support, there are reports to write, tasks to assign , testing , responding to emails…. I am so done with 10+ hours workdays (current personal record is a 14 hours).
    I just can’t do it any more. My head hurts like hell every evening, I can’t sleep because I stress about work and then wake up at least an hour before the alarm because I stress about oversleeping.
    I don’t know what I’m telling people, I forget what I have to do. I mess things up and then have more to do because I messed up. This just can’t work in the long run.

  28. rq

    Sounds like you need a proper vacation, and extra sunlight (is winter dark over there?), and also less work hours in general. :/ Is there any way to change any of the smaller or more immediate stressors?

  29. 50

    Alright, it’s time for me to tell the truth.

    I got into a fight with Alyssa from Alyssa and Ania ‘Splain You A Thing. I just tried to apologize for what I said, but my comment didn’t show up as it appears I’ve been banned from commenting. Could someone please tell her that I am sorry for me? I feel really really bad now.

  30. 52

    Are there any labour laws and a union you could turn to?

    Insulating the ceiling, next chapter
    Remember me complaining about my father in law being a stubborn mule?
    Well, today we worked at the ceiling again, and of course it took us more than an hour to do the no space jigsaw puzzle in the corner with the pipes. It’s not helping that the silo is already standing there so space is tight, but in the end we managed to finish that row. Guess where he wanted to start the next row of plates? Yes, exactly. By the door, where there’s lots of space to work. This time he saw reason, though…

  31. 54

    *hugs* and lots of sympathy. I’ve been there before, and I have the bleeding ulcer and lingering anxiety disorder to prove it. I hope you can get into a better situation soon.

  32. 55

    John Doe
    1) If you’ve seriously pissed Alyssa off, I’m not gonna be the one to go to bat for you there.
    2)Yes, you have been rude. You’ve been reposting the same screeds in thread after thread, and never actually engaging with anyone or having a conversation for longer than a single post before you apparently copy/paste something you said earlier. Seriously, dude, you gotta stop doing that.

  33. 56

    One thing we have is light – the skies are mostly clear and that’s really nice. Even with temperatures around -10°C.

    Thanks for the sympathy. I don’t feel like there is much I can do except brush up my CV and prepare to go to some interviews (with all the downsides of the job, in normal conditions I could slip out during the day to go to an interview – I work overtime all the time anyway, so no one would blink if I disappeared for an hour and a half once). Right now I haven’t the time nor energy to search, nor I can actually attend any interview someone might suggest.
    Maybe when it all calms down. Although, by then I will conclude that things are not all that bad and that I can deal… until the next ill-thought-out project.

    “insulting the ceiling”
    I had to go back twice and check that you weren’t actually talking about insulting ceiling. Poor ceiling, what did it ever do to you.

  34. rq


    Poor ceiling, what did it ever do to you.

    Well, for one, it’s constantly looking down on her.

    Sorry for not acknowledging you earlier somewhere upthread, I hope you are doing well.

    Hope you’ve had a good start to the new year.

    *waves* to Cal, it’s really good to see you here and doing rather well.

    John Doe
    Mostly I just don’t know what to say to you – I have no idea about the specific things (Stephen Universe controversy? What?) and people (‘nyms I’ve never seen before…) you’re talking about, and while I have sympathy for your general negative situation, I can’t figure out if you want comforting words and sympathy, or someone to agree with your more violent expressions.

  35. 60

    Hi All,

    Waves in the direction of the pillow fort.

    Hi Beatrice, sorry things are going along the way they are for you. I am working 12 hour days too but it’s more like a structured boredom situation peppered with insults and bits of fox news. We also just got rid of a crappy caregiver who was causing havoc and so my stress is eased, hope yours is soon.

    John Doe

    Your posts have not made much sense to me and I don’t know how to respond.

  36. 61


    I am happy to hear about your remodel and getting the new place, good luck with all that. I have only a few more things to finish up before I can say I am DONE… and I started last year!

  37. 62

    I can’t seem to get the feeling of hopelessness to abate regarding our situation so I am making myself write a post on my dream width account everyday and hoping to feel good enough about it to share with some of the horde here in the near future.

    I would really like some critical analysis of my writing skills. I have wanted to be a writer since I saw the Homecoming when I was a kid. I wanted to be John Boy Walton. Starting over at 55 is no joke folks but I see opportunity with this job. I will earn enough to finish the house and then………I will have a guest bedroom for visitor friends who want to come to California? 🙂

    bell rings, I go back to work

  38. 67

    Looks like thawing by this time next week. I’ve got my usual weekend shifts (probably, I dunno about Sunday yet), and hopefully the pie shop will be back open next week too.

  39. 68

    Hope the weather clears up

    Speaking of weather, we had some. Most of it storm. I was so afraid the scaffolding around the house would be torn out, but thankfully it held.

    Thanks. We started last year as well and we’re nowhere near finished. “Remodelling” doesn’t really cut it. We bought a house built in the 1960, tore out everything except the walls and some of them as well and are now renovating everything to the current German standard.
    Electricity (done), water, heating, roof, windows, all around insulation. But then we’ll have a house that’s as good as new in a wonderful location with a big garden and a forest directly behind it.

  40. 69

    Hi All.

    Belated *wave* to Cal!
    Dalillama hope the weather improves and you can get back to a more regular work schedule.
    Giliell sounds like a big endeavor, but also progress being made.
    Cheers all. Still just trying to get through each day – no big issues, just small stuff that tends to wear me down.

  41. 70


    Wow, it sounds wonderful, especially the garden and the forest.

    My house backs up to a huge field and the owner usually grows hay (and one day there will be houses, hopefully after I die). There is a farm to the West with a little bit of everything including three ostriches, and it wouldn’t be California without vineyards everywhere.

    We are getting rain in California! My town is within a few inches of our normal totals. Not good enough to get us out of the drought but I may not have to carry bathwater out in buckets this summer. I lay in bed at night dreaming of my spring garden. I want to put in some grapes this year (my first time with grapes) but not if it interferes with my tomatoes!


    Sorry to hear you are so weary, but glad you are hanging in there.


    I was thinking about you during the holidays when I was out doing some xmas shopping with my ex as our son was getting major dentistry done. He was so sweet to stand there and hold my man bag while I tried on clothes and seems so happy for me when I found some slacks that fit and felt good to me. I was remembering you talking about shopping with your mom and what a drag that was. I had an experience like that with a friend shopping once and never did go with her again.

    I really do have a lot to be grateful for. I wish I could see that more often. Hope you get back to work soon and are doing well.

    I am so liking all the gender conversations going on at FTBs. I can’t get to the Trans Tuesdays in my town yet and yearn to hear more of these dialogues.

    Back to work, there goes the bell!


  42. rq

    I hope the weather lets up!! *hugs*

    Ayoo! While you’re getting Tony all settled in, maybe you can just hand over that Campari just to your left there, up on the shelf…?
    Also good to see you ’round here. Be well, and remember to take a break every now and then, too!

  43. 74


    We are getting rain in California!

    No kidding! I was pretty “impressed” when the 2-ton SUV hydroplaned and shifted about a foot sideways on the drive home earlier this week. Yeesh!

    Tony asks:

    Wheres the bartender?!

    *hands Tony a mirror*

    *hands rq the Campari*

    Hopefully things will get back to a more regular routine, and I can participate more.

  44. 76


    No kidding! I was pretty “impressed” when the 2-ton SUV hydroplaned and shifted about a foot sideways on the drive home earlier this week. Yeesh!

    Can’t even imagine how much rubber there must be on the road after such a long dry spell. Must be like liquid soap.

    Jeesh, do you know the thing where you bought something once and it turned out to be the best thing ever but now that it needs replacement you can’t find it again?

    Hey, for the next 18 months I’m now an official Beamte. So, no more dirty jokes and sex only with the lights out. Tomorrow’s the first day at my new school, I’m a bit nervous…

  45. 78

    Tony, I can’t offer you sex, in which you wouldn’t be interested anyway, but some hugs.

    I know there aren’t any good times to be sick as fuck, but among the really bad times your first day at a training position AND your birthday rankes shortly after “while in labour”

  46. 79

    Safely ensconced in Baltimore, I’ve been enjoying my vacation, and making plans for the Big March on Saturday. Somewhat threadrupt, so I apologise if I’ve missed anyone’s important news.

  47. 80

    Hey Everyone,

    Be safe at the march and thank you for going.I’m glad you are enjoying your vacation. I was planning on attending the sister march in my town(2200 registered!) I couldn’t get the day off:( I am so disappointed.
    I know there will be more events and with enough notice I could probably get the day off for the next one.

    I had a strange thing happen twice at fellowship yesterday. I had two different people gaslight me. I know it is unintentional and they mean well but still. Then I wonder if it is just me? I mentioned I had come out of my seasonal depression early and was really feeling ready for whatever comes next, and they said that maybe it was because I was coming out as trans gender I was feeling better. They are trans too. Lead balloon time. I felt the need to justify being in this body for 55 years and knowing it a bit better than they did.

    Sometimes going to the fellowship has been very difficult and takes all my spoons. Just trying to figure out where I want to go after the service and how I need to present to do what I need to do can make me want to go back to bed. Sometimes I do, usually when I am depressed. So IDK

    I hear we have another storm in a few days. Bring it on. This has brightened me quite a bit even though we aren’t there yet.

  48. rq

    Alles Gute!!
    Also get well soon.


    Be as safe as is prudent and/or possible, and enjoy yourself – as much as making a stand against fascism can be enjoyable. 🙂

  49. 83

    Losing more work today, due to a projected ice storm. I’ve also done my bad ankle and knee a terrible mischief from walking on ice all week, so not being on my feet for 11 hours is a positive. Losing another 11 hours of pay is less positive.

    I’m glad your shopping went well 🙂


    Be safe as possible, have fun.

    Nah, he wasn’t the last one alive, he was the last person on the lunar surface. Buzz Aldrin, Alan Bean, David Scott, John Young, Charles Duke, and Harrison Schmidt are all still alive.

  50. rq

    Oooooooh… well that part flew right over my head. 😛 Thanks for the correction!
    I hope your bad ankle and knee get better and let you not miss anymore shift time!!

  51. rq

    *hugs* (if you want, if not – *higs*)
    I think the point of gaslighting is to make you wonder if it is just you… I can only commend you for putting up with all the bullshit and keeping on with everything, I’m rooting for you!

  52. 89


    Thanks for rooting for me rq, you have no idea how much having this place means to me. I am going to set up a time to meet with my pastor. He sees me. I see him. I took an instant liking to him because he wasn’t put off in the least by my atheism nor by my skepticism. I want to ask him to teach on listening with empathy instead listening to fix.

    I am doing very well emotionally now, mostly because of The Orbit and FTBs and various Trans spaces helping me grow and answering questions or even letting me share my experience without gas lighting! I have depression. It’s okay. I tend to befriend the black dog and go easy on myself in these periods, but when it lifts, it’s a fucking celebration!

    I had so much of that gas lighting crap as a kid and I am very sensitive to it. I feel solid now and I guess I just won’t let people do it to me anymore.

    Even when I can’t post I try to stay up with what is going on around these here parts.

    Oh, and yes, I will take the hug rq. I feel safe here and grateful for the all of my fellow pubbers.


    I don’t know what is happening but it has been going on and off like this since last fall. I am trying to post over at FTBs and it takes a while there also. I have another account on word press that Jason told me I would never be able to change at FTBs. I would love be able to change the picture on the avatar as it reflects a time in the past. I had to just accept someone in my family might find out I am trans and I am okay with that now.

    I think I can tell just about anybody to fuck off at this point, and I can still run pretty fast if I have too.


  53. 92

    Hello, I’m trying at being regular again.
    So… hello.

    Glad to hear about Chelsea. I hope everything goes smoothly, she gets out in May and gets to live her life in peace.

  54. 93

    Husband is already watching inaugural coverage. I am trying not to scream. Please send help. Now the horrible Lindsey Graham is sliming all over Greta van Susteran. It’s worse.

    Actually I should go put laundry away. I’ll be in the pillow fort with my head buried.

  55. 95

    Hi Tony, I think I figured this out. I am on another wordpress account when I post on FTBs so I am not going to comment on FTbs anymore. I logged in to give condolences to Nerd of the Redheads and that unlogged me here? IDK but before I post I will make sure I am logged in properly.

    So my last two posts went where?

  56. 96

    I’m hiding in the den with Patches, doing laundry and listening to the classical music station.

    Husband is in the living room watching MSNBC. Occasionally, I hear screaming. I hope he’s having fun. Gah.

  57. 98

    *waves* to Beatrice

    *hug*, *higs* and other gestures of support to all today. I’m still mostly ignoring news, etc. I just….can’t. I’ve even stopped reading a local car enthusiast email list – of which I’m one of the founding members and the list owner is one of my best friends – due to a few very vocal RWA/Trump-supporters. I know it would be better if I could offer resistance/engage, but from past experience these few people are not honest interlocutors.

    Anyhoo, I feel like I should be “doing something” but right now I’m focusing on the family – Son is finishing up semester finals (Junior in high school) and doing REALLY well, so I want to keep encouraging him and help him get ready for college.

    *back to semi-lurk mode*

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