This was not Outbreak, the similarly-titled, temporally-coinciding 1995 movie about a virus outbreak. This was a bog-standard shoot-em-up with as many misogynist nicknames for the lead female protagonist as there were bullets in the male protagonist by the end of the film. Also, it was apparently sponsored by Pepsi, but we didn’t see any product placements so we decided Pepsi must be one of the ingredients in the doomsday virus McGuffin.
Watch for the guy who could have been Bret Hart’s body double.
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: Deadly Outbreak transcript”
After Leonard Nimoy died, we were going to do Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but since we’d done a few Netflix-based ones in a row, we switched to Them!, the 1954 atomic horror about ant nests. Blink and you’ll miss Baby Nimoy, though. Steph added a screenshot at the end!
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: Them! transcript”
Written with misandrists in mind, with a Baldwin brother playing the greasy manbaby primary antagonist and a Boss Hogg wannabe playing the secondary antagonist, this 1993 made-for-TV movie with Daryl Hannah was a vehicle for more self-aware yet still vague references to feminism than one could shake a stick at. And it gets very little of it particularly right, save for actually passing the Bechdel test and having the full spectrum of protagonist through antagonist in female characters.
Doesn’t help, though, that there was not a shred of remotely plausible science in it. Nor that the one likeable character — who actually ends up on top at the end, and not even stuck in an alien space ship like the protagonist — was written poorly enough that any goodwill won in the initial scenes were quickly squandered at the hands of her being enamoured with the aforementioned greasy manbaby. And the other character with a shot at being even remotely likeable, the deputy, was written as a credulous hayseed.
Ah well. It was a fun (in its way) romp regardless. Still mockable, but could be enjoyed as-is, as a camp classic.
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman transcript”
We’re raising funds again for Geek Girl Con’s DIY Science Zone, where last year I taught kids about randomness, and had a neat graph making program and everything. This year, I’ll be doing a demonstration on displacement, buoyancy and surface tension, involving tin foil boats and gummy fish. And I won’t even be eating all the fish myself!
But before I can get there, we need to raise funds for the materials. So, we’re, as usual, doing Acts of Whimsey, which means doing ridiculous things when we reach certain goals. Because we hit $500 of our required $6000 almost instantly, my first Act of Whimsey is doing a live-mocking, solo, of Crossroads. The 2002 Britney Spears vehicle, not the Ralph Macchio film, sadly.
(Well, mostly solo — our Mysterious Stranger CA7746 helped with a few kill shots from the sidelines!)
Continue reading “GGC 2015: #DIYSciZone: AoW: Mock The Movie Overtime: Crossroads Transcript: LOTSA COLONS EDITION”
I had to miss this because of work issues. Bah. I love turtles, and I love space turtles even more, so I hurt particularly badly from missing this one.
Gamera is pretty neat, he is made of turtle meat!
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: Gamera vs Viras transcript”
That poor Blake Stacey. Constitution so strong a monthly movie isn’t enough for him so he’s gotta go seek out movie tripe on his own now and then. He does The Giver, because he is so giving.
Continue reading “Mock The Movie OVERTIME: @BlakeStacey watches The Giver”
Liam Neeson battles fictional wolves and — spoilers — ends up in a tender love scene with one in the after-credits.
I’m not actually sure what happened there.
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: The Grey transcript”
Superman and Hercules square off in a battle of who can be the biggest asshole straw-atheist in this blockbuster that likely resulted in no appreciable increase in text messages despite the imploring at the end to text all your friends.
We watched this on April Fool’s Day. Yes, that was intentional.
Oh yeah, and dude from Duck Dynasty is in it because… uh… JEEEEZUS
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: God's Not Dead transcript”
CA7746 was building a transcript-generator for the web interface to supplement my Python-based Twitter scraper a while back, for when things go sideways and the API can’t deliver the script any more, and while I was doing my catch-up on Mock The Movie stuff and read CA’s email on the matter, he mentioned that he managed to grab a transcript of Blake Stacey’s mocking of Star Trek Into Darkness. So, here it is! Huzzah for Blake! You poor sod.
Continue reading “Mock The Movie OVERTIME: Star Trek Into Darkness transcript by @blakestacey”