Mock the Movie: Maniac transcript

Below the fold, the full transcript for all the participants in Mock the Movie for this week. Thanks very much to newcomer tragedyman! We welcome any and all participants freely.

@DrRubidium: T-5 minutes until @MockTM
2011-10-07 00:56:20

@DrRubidium: Tonight’s @MockTM ‘Mania’ is only an hour!
2011-10-07 01:00:24

@drskyskull: @MockTM Okay, here we go…
2011-10-07 01:01:06

@DrRubidium: @MockTM Um, you spelled skillful wrong 😀
2011-10-07 01:01:28

@drskyskull: @MockTM Nooooo! They’re using one of my favorite Edvard Grieg pieces for the intro! #ruinedforever
2011-10-07 01:01:31

@szvan: @MockTM Off to a good start with “the beautiful harmony of thought.”
2011-10-07 01:01:36

@lousycanuck: @MockTM It’s the duty of every man and woman to establish a quarantine of fear by replacing it with NUCLEAR WEAPONRY.
2011-10-07 01:01:37

@szvan: @MockTM Of course all criminals suffer from a mental disease…when you diagnose criminality as a mental disease.
2011-10-07 01:02:22

@drskyskull: @MockTM “… duty to establish quarantine against fear.” Could someone notify the GOP of this?
2011-10-07 01:02:25

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Okay, using this syringe, you put lime into coconut… and then drink it all up.”
2011-10-07 01:02:41

@DrRubidium: @MockTM there’s always a rack of test tubes!
2011-10-07 01:02:48

@BenZvan: @MockTM Hang on while I sharpen this knife. You check the still while I do what I was going to do.
2011-10-07 01:02:50

@DrRubidium: @MockTM I’m already ready for Maxwell to die
2011-10-07 01:03:11

@DrRubidium: @MockTM well, bearded guy HAS to go
2011-10-07 01:03:50

@tragedyman: @MockTM Late start. Almost forgot. But this stars Phyllis Diller? Yikes.
2011-10-07 01:04:10

@drskyskull: @MockTM This “doctor” is, like, every grad student & postdoc’s worst nightmare.
2011-10-07 01:04:13

@szvan: @MockTM Some animals were highly annoyed in the making of this movie.
2011-10-07 01:04:45

@drskyskull: @MockTM *music* I would do anyyyything for you… but I won’t do dead people!
2011-10-07 01:04:46

@DrRubidium: @MockTM Maxwell, why you gotta hate on the cat?
2011-10-07 01:04:58

@BenZvan: @MockTM This movie sounds like something I would have written…then I’d decide I couldn’t write and go into photography.
2011-10-07 01:05:04

@tragedyman: @MockTM This movie must be mandatory for all Psych students, right?
2011-10-07 01:05:27

@lousycanuck: @MockTM And so the game of cat and mouse begins. Literally.
2011-10-07 01:05:30

@drskyskull: @MockTM “Once a ham, always a ham.” This is written like Shakespeare!!!!
2011-10-07 01:05:54

@szvan: @MockTM “In time, *you* may become a pompous windbag.”
2011-10-07 01:05:59

@tragedyman: @MockTM 02:35 – DundunDUN!
2011-10-07 01:06:08

@DrRubidium: @MockTM just what this movie needs – a monocle!
2011-10-07 01:06:51

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Wait for it… wait for it… yup, the dead girl still doesn’t have a heartbeat.”
2011-10-07 01:06:52

@tragedyman: @MockTM 03:20 – Ethics, shmethics.
2011-10-07 01:06:56

@BenZvan: @MockTM that was either ‘Mary, I’ll cure ya’ or an homage to Mary Curie.
2011-10-07 01:07:12

@szvan: @MockTM “We’ll have to work fast. I’ll start rubbing her now.”
2011-10-07 01:07:42

@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck “This proves my theory — the hearts of the dead do not beat!” #theycalledmemad!
2011-10-07 01:07:46

@tragedyman: @MockTM 04:25 – “Once a ham. Always a ham.” But enough about the cast.
2011-10-07 01:08:07

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Special autopsy? But I hardly even know her!”
2011-10-07 01:08:24

@DrRubidium: @MockTM ah yes, a creepy reference to necrophilia
2011-10-07 01:08:42

@drskyskull: @MockTM What’s he doing — trying to tear her arm off? #makeawish
2011-10-07 01:08:48

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh, THAT’S why she’s dead,there’s no oxygen in that room! Luckily the cast is able to breathe bad acting, of which the room is full.
2011-10-07 01:09:17

@tragedyman: @MockTM 05:10 – Because all morgues have rat problems.
2011-10-07 01:09:26

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Maniac: The Most Incomprehensible Mush-Mouthed Movie Ever Made!
2011-10-07 01:09:56

@DrRubidium: @MockTM what are the Muppet’s Statler and Waldorf doing in this movie?!
2011-10-07 01:10:04

@szvan: @MockTM “Yes, I did establish my career in silent films, mumble, mumble. Why do you ask?”
2011-10-07 01:10:13

@drskyskull: @MockTM Always a sign of a good movie — characters sitting around a lot talking to one another #sarcasm #exceptionisPulpFiction
2011-10-07 01:10:28

@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is supposed to be a single cohesive movie, right?
2011-10-07 01:11:24

@drskyskull: @MockTM Maybe the mad scientist should come up with a cure for the mumbles.
2011-10-07 01:11:38

@tragedyman: @MockTM 07:20 – Necrophilia. Nice.
2011-10-07 01:12:10

@szvan: @MockTM Oh, there’s the evil laughter. I was wondering where that was.
2011-10-07 01:12:39

@drskyskull: @MockTM Chase bank is advertising for this movie. Another reason to hate the banks.
2011-10-07 01:12:47

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “IT WILL BE MY SUPREME ACCOMPLISHMENT! Right after my glorious beard.”
2011-10-07 01:13:06

@DrRubidium: @MockTM OK, that was an awesome evil laugh #bwahahahahahah
2011-10-07 01:13:06

@drskyskull: @MockTM “No, I didn’t get my PhD in acting — why do you ask?”
2011-10-07 01:13:43

@tragedyman: @MockTM 09:00 – The drunk aide reminds me of a slurring, bald Jack Elam.
2011-10-07 01:13:46

@DrRubidium: @MockTM seriously, Maxwell needs to die
2011-10-07 01:13:50

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Woooo! Cat fight! Worth the price of admission!
2011-10-07 01:13:55

@drskyskull: @MockTM “I don’t care vere you get it — try the undertaker, WalMart, Whole Foods!”
2011-10-07 01:14:20

@szvan: @MockTM Do the inspectors require tunnels in all undertakers’ offices, or is it optional?
2011-10-07 01:14:21

@szvan: @MockTM Huh. Evil crying. That’s a new one.
2011-10-07 01:14:50

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow, the doctor sure does take minor setbacks extraordinarily hard.
2011-10-07 01:15:10

@BenZvan: @MockTM I don’t know what’s going on, but that guy is very sad. Maybe he just heard that Steve Jobs died?
2011-10-07 01:15:23

@drskyskull: @MockTM I guarantee that the filmmakers just happened to see two cats fighting and thought, “Awesome! Put it in the film!!!”
2011-10-07 01:15:32

@DrRubidium: @MockTM anyone else think the doc cuckoo for Coca Puffs? #bwahahahahah
2011-10-07 01:16:04

@rvitelli: @lousycanuck @MockTM “Wow, the doctor sure does take minor setbacks extraordinarily hard. ” Blame medical school.
2011-10-07 01:16:11

@szvan: @MockTM “I will now draw this weapon very slowly out of this drawer so you have time to get good and freaked out. Fear my evil plan!”
2011-10-07 01:16:26

@drskyskull: @MockTM @BenZvan He *does* look a bit like the Woz…
2011-10-07 01:16:27

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “YOU WILL LIVE! AHAHAHA!” “Uh, dude, I’m already alive here. And now you aren’t.”
2011-10-07 01:16:32

@BenZvan: @MockTM Hey…there’s a gun in this drawer and that guy seems very sad. Solution: meet problem.
2011-10-07 01:16:36

@DrRubidium: @MockTM “Just in case you hadn’t figured it out, Maxwell is fucking crazy”
2011-10-07 01:17:21

@drskyskull: @MockTM “Oh, my goodness… it just went off prematurely… this never usually happens to me, I swear!”
2011-10-07 01:17:41

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I murdered my benefactor! Racked with guilt now! Ignoring, of course, the fact that he was going to mad science me to death.”
2011-10-07 01:18:04

@szvan: @MockTM Careful, kids. Committing murder results in demonic possession.
2011-10-07 01:18:21

@tragedyman: @MockTM 13:00 – Cat fight. Because the filmmaker needed to pad out the runtime of this movie.
2011-10-07 01:18:21

@DrRubidium: @MockTM …and here is where the movie takes a real turn. For the even worse
2011-10-07 01:18:41

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Who needs to go to medical school to assume the identity of a doctor? Just act like him! You know, poorly.
2011-10-07 01:18:46

@drskyskull: @MockTM Sign number 1 that you’re crazy: Your internal monologue goes external.
2011-10-07 01:19:21

@drskyskull: @MockTM *flipping through papers frantically* Oh, crap, what page of the script are we on?
2011-10-07 01:19:45

@DrRubidium: @MockTM …and there is the tenuous Edgar Allan Poe connection
2011-10-07 01:20:17

@BenZvan: @massdistraction Actually, Yellow Submarine could be a good option for a @MockTM
2011-10-07 01:20:30

@tragedyman: @MockTM 15:40 – His laughter indicates how sane he is.
2011-10-07 01:20:33

@drskyskull: @MockTM “He’s having horrible hallucinations? What a coincidence — so am I!”
2011-10-07 01:20:48

@lousycanuck: @MockTM A toolchest! Just what I need to complete my transformation! Let’s see… a little trim here… a little montage there… PERFECT!
2011-10-07 01:21:04

@szvan: @MockTM Um, dude, I’m pretty sure the doc had wilder hair than you did. Cutting it ain’t gonna help.
2011-10-07 01:21:07

@tragedyman: @MockTM 16:00 – Thanks for that information. I didn’t realize he might have been mentally ill.
2011-10-07 01:21:34

@drskyskull: @MockTM I hope they paid Maxwell extra salary, considering he has to play his own Greek chorus.
2011-10-07 01:21:39

@DrRubidium: @MockTM that is the worse make-over I’ve ever seen
2011-10-07 01:21:46

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “There is marked failure of memory, poor retention, marked failure of memory, and poor retention.”
2011-10-07 01:22:39

@szvan: @MockTM “I will be a great man! Just after I put on this thing that looks like a straightjacket!”
2011-10-07 01:22:44

@drskyskull: @MockTM His disguise is vaguely reminiscent of the horrible cross-breeding of Paul Bunyan and CarrotTop.
2011-10-07 01:22:54

@BenZvan: @MockTM I can’t figure out how to move the plot forward so I’ll speak directly to the camera, then make the audience read.
2011-10-07 01:23:27

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Super adrenaline. No, not that. How about ULTRA-adrenaline?”
2011-10-07 01:24:00

@szvan: @MockTM Strangely, he looked more like the doc before the fake mustache.
2011-10-07 01:24:03

@BenZvan: @MockTM Super Adrenaline….no…I’ll use water…
2011-10-07 01:24:14

@tragedyman: @MockTM 19:20 – Name-dropping Poe? Isn’t that a bit too high-brow for this film?
2011-10-07 01:24:20

@drskyskull: @MockTM “Let’s see here… well, that arm will have to come off.”
2011-10-07 01:24:36

@drskyskull: @MockTM Did he say “No, not that” or “No, fuck that”?
2011-10-07 01:25:35

@szvan: @MockTM “The fire! It stabs me!” Um….
2011-10-07 01:25:41

@BenZvan: @MockTM “fire in my brain…with the brain…and the fire….and the brain…”
2011-10-07 01:25:46

@lousycanuck: @MockTM He’s awfully lucid for someone being tortured by mainlining super-adrenaline.
2011-10-07 01:25:53

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Nonono, down Dino, down boy, DOWN!”
2011-10-07 01:26:27

@szvan: @MockTM “What was in that syringe? It turned him into Jimmy Fallon!”
2011-10-07 01:26:40

@tragedyman: @MockTM 22:20 – Modern analysis techniques.
2011-10-07 01:26:56

@drskyskull: @MockTM “I can’t stand this torture!” He suddenly became acutely aware of the film he is in!
2011-10-07 01:27:13

@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is the worst acting I’ve seen since Showgirls
2011-10-07 01:27:47

@tragedyman: @drskyskull There’s a script to this? Really? @MockTM
2011-10-07 01:27:50

@BenZvan: @MockTM The fire in my brain…and the fire…and my brain…and the fire…
2011-10-07 01:28:10

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I think we speak the same language, am I right?” “Que?”
2011-10-07 01:28:49

@drskyskull: @MockTM That has to be the best excuse for not calling the police I’ve ever heard! “I wanted to experiment on him!”
2011-10-07 01:29:00

@tragedyman: @MockTM 24:00 – It never occurred to our hero that he grabbed the WRONG SIZE SYRINGE?
2011-10-07 01:29:29

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You see my cats there, eh, Ralphie-boy?”
2011-10-07 01:29:57

@szvan: @MockTM Human-heart cat toy. Wheee!
2011-10-07 01:30:20

@tragedyman: @MockTM 25:00 – Once a ham, always a ham.
2011-10-07 01:30:22

@DrRubidium: @MockTM nobody’s noticed the doc’s a fake? REALLY?!
2011-10-07 01:30:22

@drskyskull: @MockTM Shouldn’t this film be called, “Maniac(s)”?
2011-10-07 01:30:54

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I’ll burn the body! No, I can’t do that. The foyer! I mean basement.”
2011-10-07 01:31:09

@tragedyman: @MockTM 26:00 – Bad Tasmanian Devil impression.
2011-10-07 01:31:26

@drskyskull: @MockTM @tragedyman I assume you’re using the term “hero” in the loosest possible sense?
2011-10-07 01:31:29

@DrRubidium: @MockTM Is it just me, or is Maxwell’s accent oscillating between Swedish, Czechoslovakian and German?
2011-10-07 01:31:43

@tragedyman: @MockTM 26:45 – Who are you going to believe: me, or your crazy eyes?
2011-10-07 01:32:13

@BenZvan: @MockTM ‘My cat was severely annoyed in the watching of this movie.’
2011-10-07 01:32:47

@tragedyman: @MockTM 27:30 – Female nipples. Because this movie was boring up until now.
2011-10-07 01:32:53

@DrRubidium: @MockTM He killed the cat?! That damn cat was the only living creature in this movie I liked!
2011-10-07 01:33:11

@drskyskull: @MockTM *Removing bricks* “Oh, there’s that Cask of Amontillado I lost all those years ago!”
2011-10-07 01:33:12

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Om nom cat eye. Because, you know, why not? Biomass is biomass.
2011-10-07 01:33:19

@szvan: @MockTM Luckily, no one ever really looks at mortar anyway.
2011-10-07 01:34:19

@DrRubidium: @MockTM ahhh…the ol’ body in the wall trick. That always works
2011-10-07 01:34:26

@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Oh dammit, these brick walls never go back together the same way twice.”
2011-10-07 01:34:36

@tragedyman: @drskyskull Well, yes. @MockTM
2011-10-07 01:34:58

@BenZvan: @MockTM I’m against gay marriage because those queers brought a dead dog back to life up there once
2011-10-07 01:35:00

@drskyskull: @MockTM “Paranoiac” Oh, shit — are they talking about me?
2011-10-07 01:35:23

@szvan: @MockTM Someone needs to tell the scriptwriters the difference between characters and *characters*.
2011-10-07 01:36:30

@DrRubidium: @MockTM rats, cats, cats, rats… creepy Dr. Seuss
2011-10-07 01:37:19

@BenZvan: @MockTM I may not be decent but I’m sure going to be clean. *darn!*
2011-10-07 01:37:21

@tragedyman: @MockTM 32:00 – Random Act Of Violence Against A Cat!
2011-10-07 01:37:28

@drskyskull: @MockTM “Cats eat rats.” What he learned before dropping out of grade school biology.
2011-10-07 01:38:23

@BenZvan: @MockTM Ha ha ha ha ha…she’s pressing her underpants…ha ha ha…pressing business…get it? huh? huh? I kill me.
2011-10-07 01:38:31

@lousycanuck: @MockTM La Conkaroacha?
2011-10-07 01:38:50

@szvan: @MockTM I’d complain about this movie’s view of women, but given what I’ve got to compare it to….
2011-10-07 01:38:50

@BenZvan: @MockTM @szvan at least the women in this movie can almost act.
2011-10-07 01:39:29

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Thankfully this is in public domain, or Disney would be going after the Minnie Mouse ripoff.
2011-10-07 01:39:34

@drskyskull: @MockTM I think their bedroom has unknowingly been filled with helium.
2011-10-07 01:39:36

@tragedyman: @MockTM 33:20 – I wonder what silent film the Hell footage came from?
2011-10-07 01:39:43

@DrRubidium: @MockTM what is the point of this entire scene involving the showgirls? Are they going to die horribly soon?
2011-10-07 01:39:53

@BenZvan: @MockTM Hey…I wonder if he’s still ‘with’ that goofy professor…
2011-10-07 01:40:28

@tragedyman: @MockTM 34:20 – That must be the oddest random conversation ever.
2011-10-07 01:40:48

@BenZvan: @MockTM @DrRubidium Just making the connection to Showgirls. It’s future allusion.
2011-10-07 01:41:14

@szvan: @MockTM Oh! Here’s our problem. This isn’t a feature film. It’s a DSM training film! Of course, it’s still awful.
2011-10-07 01:41:19

@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck See, I thought this had evolved into “Betty Boop versus the Maniac”
2011-10-07 01:41:22

@lousycanuck: @MockTM During the “mixed phase”, you prefer mixed drinks.
2011-10-07 01:41:27

@tragedyman: @MockTM 36:00 – Nobody’s called Animal Care & Control on this guy yet?
2011-10-07 01:41:47

@drskyskull: @MockTM Wasn’t there an insane, murderous rapist on the loose a while ago? Did he fall down a well?
2011-10-07 01:42:26

@tragedyman: @MockTM 36:20 – Wait – Maxwell was married?!?
2011-10-07 01:42:46

@BenZvan: @MockTM @drskyskull Nobody really worries about insane, murderous rapists these days.
2011-10-07 01:43:08

@BenZvan: @MockTM Since when does jabbing someone in the eye quiet them?!!!
2011-10-07 01:43:42

@BenZvan: @MockTM you wanna buy a crazy woman? I’ve got one in the other room I’ve been tweeting…I mean treating…
2011-10-07 01:44:55

@tragedyman: @MockTM 37:10 – Did that actress have an unfortunate accident in a helium factory before her Hollywood career?
2011-10-07 01:44:56

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh boy, setting up for the famous Syringe Duel scene. Throwing syringes at one another from ten paces.
2011-10-07 01:45:30

@lousycanuck: @MockTM And after having dropped their syringes, the women start channeling the cats from earlier. They WERE the best actors after all.
2011-10-07 01:46:46

@szvan: @MockTM You see, women don’t really know how to fight, just how to tear each other’s clothes off.
2011-10-07 01:47:16

@tragedyman: @MockTM 39:45 – Some wife. She can’t even recognize her own husband standing in front of her?
2011-10-07 01:47:47

@DrRubidium: @MockTM this movie just took on a Dali-esque level of abstract weirdness usually only seen in underground Romanian alt-films :-0
2011-10-07 01:48:34

@BenZvan: @MockTM These bricks sound like cats! That’s suspicious! Get him!
2011-10-07 01:48:50

@drskyskull: @MockTM We interrupt this life-or-death struggle to show you this image of a bird.
2011-10-07 01:49:10

@szvan: @MockTM Oh, so *now* you figure out he’s crazy.
2011-10-07 01:49:19

@szvan: @MockTM “Maniac” brought to you by the team that created “Eugenics.”
2011-10-07 01:50:09

@lousycanuck: @MockTM Why must they end the music so abruptly on those psych flash cards?
2011-10-07 01:50:33

@BenZvan: @MockTM There are many people of unsound mind who find one particular thing unbearable…like this movie for example.
2011-10-07 01:50:37

@lousycanuck: @MockTM The lesson: being a Vaudevillian actor makes you go crazy crazy.
2011-10-07 01:51:19

@drskyskull: @MockTM “Insanity is our defense against a world…” Speak for yourself, narrator!!!
2011-10-07 01:51:20

@BenZvan: @MockTM “bieysda keen meyken vensten eiken!”
2011-10-07 01:51:26

@lousycanuck: @MockTM I can’t help but feel spoiled by having seen Rocketship X-M before this.
2011-10-07 01:52:27

@drskyskull: @MockTM “I thought the movie was over… how long do I have to keep holding up my arms?”
2011-10-07 01:53:00

@lousycanuck: @MockTM To clarify, I don’t mean Rocketship X-M is a direct sequel of Maniac. But if it was, there’d be a movie in between, I think.
2011-10-07 01:54:15

@tragedyman: @MockTM 46:30 – Now that they’ve ripped each other’s clothes off, shouldn’t they have started kissing?
2011-10-07 01:54:53

@drskyskull: @MockTM “Maniac” is like “Silence of the Lambs”, if Hannibal Lector were played by Jim Carrey.
2011-10-07 01:55:15

@szvan: @MockTM And now for video games, because the story line is infinitely better.
2011-10-07 01:55:33

@tragedyman: @MockTM 47:40 – “You’re crazy! What kind of a place is this?” We should have asked that at the beginning of this film.
2011-10-07 01:55:52

@tragedyman: @MockTM 49:00 – This is what makes the film informational, and excuses the nudity, cat fighting & bad acting.
2011-10-07 01:57:21

@drskyskull: @MockTM Now that I’m totally desensitized to absurdity, time to catch the end of “RoadHouse” on AMC.
2011-10-07 02:03:42

Mock the Movie: Maniac transcript
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