Below the fold, the full transcript for all the participants in Mock the Movie for this week. Thanks very much to newcomer tragedyman! We welcome any and all participants freely.
@DrRubidium: T-5 minutes until @MockTM http://t.co/EBAQmyRt
2011-10-07 00:56:20
@DrRubidium: Tonight’s @MockTM ‘Mania’ is only an hour! http://t.co/lW0r7KpR
2011-10-07 01:00:24
@drskyskull: @MockTM Okay, here we go…
2011-10-07 01:01:06
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Um, you spelled skillful wrong 😀
2011-10-07 01:01:28
@drskyskull: @MockTM Nooooo! They’re using one of my favorite Edvard Grieg pieces for the intro! #ruinedforever
2011-10-07 01:01:31
@szvan: @MockTM Off to a good start with “the beautiful harmony of thought.”
2011-10-07 01:01:36
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It’s the duty of every man and woman to establish a quarantine of fear by replacing it with NUCLEAR WEAPONRY.
2011-10-07 01:01:37
@szvan: @MockTM Of course all criminals suffer from a mental disease…when you diagnose criminality as a mental disease.
2011-10-07 01:02:22
@drskyskull: @MockTM “… duty to establish quarantine against fear.” Could someone notify the GOP of this?
2011-10-07 01:02:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Okay, using this syringe, you put lime into coconut… and then drink it all up.”
2011-10-07 01:02:41
@DrRubidium: @MockTM there’s always a rack of test tubes!
2011-10-07 01:02:48
@BenZvan: @MockTM Hang on while I sharpen this knife. You check the still while I do what I was going to do.
2011-10-07 01:02:50
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I’m already ready for Maxwell to die
2011-10-07 01:03:11
@DrRubidium: @MockTM well, bearded guy HAS to go
2011-10-07 01:03:50
@tragedyman: @MockTM Late start. Almost forgot. But this stars Phyllis Diller? Yikes.
2011-10-07 01:04:10
@drskyskull: @MockTM This “doctor” is, like, every grad student & postdoc’s worst nightmare.
2011-10-07 01:04:13
@szvan: @MockTM Some animals were highly annoyed in the making of this movie.
2011-10-07 01:04:45
@drskyskull: @MockTM *music* I would do anyyyything for you… but I won’t do dead people!
2011-10-07 01:04:46
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Maxwell, why you gotta hate on the cat?
2011-10-07 01:04:58
@BenZvan: @MockTM This movie sounds like something I would have written…then I’d decide I couldn’t write and go into photography.
2011-10-07 01:05:04
@tragedyman: @MockTM This movie must be mandatory for all Psych students, right?
2011-10-07 01:05:27
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And so the game of cat and mouse begins. Literally.
2011-10-07 01:05:30
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Once a ham, always a ham.” This is written like Shakespeare!!!!
2011-10-07 01:05:54
@szvan: @MockTM “In time, *you* may become a pompous windbag.”
2011-10-07 01:05:59
@tragedyman: @MockTM 02:35 – DundunDUN!
2011-10-07 01:06:08
@DrRubidium: @MockTM just what this movie needs – a monocle!
2011-10-07 01:06:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Wait for it… wait for it… yup, the dead girl still doesn’t have a heartbeat.”
2011-10-07 01:06:52
@tragedyman: @MockTM 03:20 – Ethics, shmethics.
2011-10-07 01:06:56
@BenZvan: @MockTM that was either ‘Mary, I’ll cure ya’ or an homage to Mary Curie.
2011-10-07 01:07:12
@szvan: @MockTM “We’ll have to work fast. I’ll start rubbing her now.”
2011-10-07 01:07:42
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck “This proves my theory — the hearts of the dead do not beat!” #theycalledmemad!
2011-10-07 01:07:46
@tragedyman: @MockTM 04:25 – “Once a ham. Always a ham.” But enough about the cast.
2011-10-07 01:08:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Special autopsy? But I hardly even know her!”
2011-10-07 01:08:24
@DrRubidium: @MockTM ah yes, a creepy reference to necrophilia
2011-10-07 01:08:42
@drskyskull: @MockTM What’s he doing — trying to tear her arm off? #makeawish
2011-10-07 01:08:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh, THAT’S why she’s dead,there’s no oxygen in that room! Luckily the cast is able to breathe bad acting, of which the room is full.
2011-10-07 01:09:17
@tragedyman: @MockTM 05:10 – Because all morgues have rat problems.
2011-10-07 01:09:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Maniac: The Most Incomprehensible Mush-Mouthed Movie Ever Made!
2011-10-07 01:09:56
@DrRubidium: @MockTM what are the Muppet’s Statler and Waldorf doing in this movie?!
2011-10-07 01:10:04
@szvan: @MockTM “Yes, I did establish my career in silent films, mumble, mumble. Why do you ask?”
2011-10-07 01:10:13
@drskyskull: @MockTM Always a sign of a good movie — characters sitting around a lot talking to one another #sarcasm #exceptionisPulpFiction
2011-10-07 01:10:28
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is supposed to be a single cohesive movie, right?
2011-10-07 01:11:24
@drskyskull: @MockTM Maybe the mad scientist should come up with a cure for the mumbles.
2011-10-07 01:11:38
@tragedyman: @MockTM 07:20 – Necrophilia. Nice.
2011-10-07 01:12:10
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, there’s the evil laughter. I was wondering where that was.
2011-10-07 01:12:39
@drskyskull: @MockTM Chase bank is advertising for this movie. Another reason to hate the banks.
2011-10-07 01:12:47
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “IT WILL BE MY SUPREME ACCOMPLISHMENT! Right after my glorious beard.”
2011-10-07 01:13:06
@DrRubidium: @MockTM OK, that was an awesome evil laugh #bwahahahahahah
2011-10-07 01:13:06
@drskyskull: @MockTM “No, I didn’t get my PhD in acting — why do you ask?”
2011-10-07 01:13:43
@tragedyman: @MockTM 09:00 – The drunk aide reminds me of a slurring, bald Jack Elam.
2011-10-07 01:13:46
@DrRubidium: @MockTM seriously, Maxwell needs to die
2011-10-07 01:13:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Woooo! Cat fight! Worth the price of admission!
2011-10-07 01:13:55
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I don’t care vere you get it — try the undertaker, WalMart, Whole Foods!”
2011-10-07 01:14:20
@szvan: @MockTM Do the inspectors require tunnels in all undertakers’ offices, or is it optional?
2011-10-07 01:14:21
@szvan: @MockTM Huh. Evil crying. That’s a new one.
2011-10-07 01:14:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow, the doctor sure does take minor setbacks extraordinarily hard.
2011-10-07 01:15:10
@BenZvan: @MockTM I don’t know what’s going on, but that guy is very sad. Maybe he just heard that Steve Jobs died?
2011-10-07 01:15:23
@drskyskull: @MockTM I guarantee that the filmmakers just happened to see two cats fighting and thought, “Awesome! Put it in the film!!!”
2011-10-07 01:15:32
@DrRubidium: @MockTM anyone else think the doc cuckoo for Coca Puffs? #bwahahahahah
2011-10-07 01:16:04
@rvitelli: @lousycanuck @MockTM “Wow, the doctor sure does take minor setbacks extraordinarily hard. ” Blame medical school.
2011-10-07 01:16:11
@szvan: @MockTM “I will now draw this weapon very slowly out of this drawer so you have time to get good and freaked out. Fear my evil plan!”
2011-10-07 01:16:26
@drskyskull: @MockTM @BenZvan He *does* look a bit like the Woz…
2011-10-07 01:16:27
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “YOU WILL LIVE! AHAHAHA!” “Uh, dude, I’m already alive here. And now you aren’t.”
2011-10-07 01:16:32
@BenZvan: @MockTM Hey…there’s a gun in this drawer and that guy seems very sad. Solution: meet problem.
2011-10-07 01:16:36
@DrRubidium: @MockTM “Just in case you hadn’t figured it out, Maxwell is fucking crazy”
2011-10-07 01:17:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Oh, my goodness… it just went off prematurely… this never usually happens to me, I swear!”
2011-10-07 01:17:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I murdered my benefactor! Racked with guilt now! Ignoring, of course, the fact that he was going to mad science me to death.”
2011-10-07 01:18:04
@szvan: @MockTM Careful, kids. Committing murder results in demonic possession.
2011-10-07 01:18:21
@tragedyman: @MockTM 13:00 – Cat fight. Because the filmmaker needed to pad out the runtime of this movie.
2011-10-07 01:18:21
@DrRubidium: @MockTM …and here is where the movie takes a real turn. For the even worse
2011-10-07 01:18:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Who needs to go to medical school to assume the identity of a doctor? Just act like him! You know, poorly.
2011-10-07 01:18:46
@drskyskull: @MockTM Sign number 1 that you’re crazy: Your internal monologue goes external.
2011-10-07 01:19:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM *flipping through papers frantically* Oh, crap, what page of the script are we on?
2011-10-07 01:19:45
@DrRubidium: @MockTM …and there is the tenuous Edgar Allan Poe connection
2011-10-07 01:20:17
@BenZvan: @massdistraction Actually, Yellow Submarine could be a good option for a @MockTM
2011-10-07 01:20:30
@tragedyman: @MockTM 15:40 – His laughter indicates how sane he is.
2011-10-07 01:20:33
@drskyskull: @MockTM “He’s having horrible hallucinations? What a coincidence — so am I!”
2011-10-07 01:20:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM A toolchest! Just what I need to complete my transformation! Let’s see… a little trim here… a little montage there… PERFECT!
2011-10-07 01:21:04
@szvan: @MockTM Um, dude, I’m pretty sure the doc had wilder hair than you did. Cutting it ain’t gonna help.
2011-10-07 01:21:07
@tragedyman: @MockTM 16:00 – Thanks for that information. I didn’t realize he might have been mentally ill.
2011-10-07 01:21:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM I hope they paid Maxwell extra salary, considering he has to play his own Greek chorus.
2011-10-07 01:21:39
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that is the worse make-over I’ve ever seen
2011-10-07 01:21:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “There is marked failure of memory, poor retention, marked failure of memory, and poor retention.”
2011-10-07 01:22:39
@szvan: @MockTM “I will be a great man! Just after I put on this thing that looks like a straightjacket!”
2011-10-07 01:22:44
@drskyskull: @MockTM His disguise is vaguely reminiscent of the horrible cross-breeding of Paul Bunyan and CarrotTop.
2011-10-07 01:22:54
@BenZvan: @MockTM I can’t figure out how to move the plot forward so I’ll speak directly to the camera, then make the audience read.
2011-10-07 01:23:27
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Super adrenaline. No, not that. How about ULTRA-adrenaline?”
2011-10-07 01:24:00
@szvan: @MockTM Strangely, he looked more like the doc before the fake mustache.
2011-10-07 01:24:03
@BenZvan: @MockTM Super Adrenaline….no…I’ll use water…
2011-10-07 01:24:14
@tragedyman: @MockTM 19:20 – Name-dropping Poe? Isn’t that a bit too high-brow for this film?
2011-10-07 01:24:20
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Let’s see here… well, that arm will have to come off.”
2011-10-07 01:24:36
@drskyskull: @MockTM Did he say “No, not that” or “No, fuck that”?
2011-10-07 01:25:35
@szvan: @MockTM “The fire! It stabs me!” Um….
2011-10-07 01:25:41
@BenZvan: @MockTM “fire in my brain…with the brain…and the fire….and the brain…”
2011-10-07 01:25:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM He’s awfully lucid for someone being tortured by mainlining super-adrenaline.
2011-10-07 01:25:53
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Nonono, down Dino, down boy, DOWN!”
2011-10-07 01:26:27
@szvan: @MockTM “What was in that syringe? It turned him into Jimmy Fallon!”
2011-10-07 01:26:40
@tragedyman: @MockTM 22:20 – Modern analysis techniques.
2011-10-07 01:26:56
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I can’t stand this torture!” He suddenly became acutely aware of the film he is in!
2011-10-07 01:27:13
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is the worst acting I’ve seen since Showgirls
2011-10-07 01:27:47
@tragedyman: @drskyskull There’s a script to this? Really? @MockTM
2011-10-07 01:27:50
@BenZvan: @MockTM The fire in my brain…and the fire…and my brain…and the fire…
2011-10-07 01:28:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I think we speak the same language, am I right?” “Que?”
2011-10-07 01:28:49
@drskyskull: @MockTM That has to be the best excuse for not calling the police I’ve ever heard! “I wanted to experiment on him!”
2011-10-07 01:29:00
@tragedyman: @MockTM 24:00 – It never occurred to our hero that he grabbed the WRONG SIZE SYRINGE?
2011-10-07 01:29:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You see my cats there, eh, Ralphie-boy?”
2011-10-07 01:29:57
@szvan: @MockTM Human-heart cat toy. Wheee!
2011-10-07 01:30:20
@tragedyman: @MockTM 25:00 – Once a ham, always a ham.
2011-10-07 01:30:22
@DrRubidium: @MockTM nobody’s noticed the doc’s a fake? REALLY?!
2011-10-07 01:30:22
@drskyskull: @MockTM Shouldn’t this film be called, “Maniac(s)”?
2011-10-07 01:30:54
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I’ll burn the body! No, I can’t do that. The foyer! I mean basement.”
2011-10-07 01:31:09
@tragedyman: @MockTM 26:00 – Bad Tasmanian Devil impression.
2011-10-07 01:31:26
@drskyskull: @MockTM @tragedyman I assume you’re using the term “hero” in the loosest possible sense?
2011-10-07 01:31:29
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Is it just me, or is Maxwell’s accent oscillating between Swedish, Czechoslovakian and German?
2011-10-07 01:31:43
@tragedyman: @MockTM 26:45 – Who are you going to believe: me, or your crazy eyes?
2011-10-07 01:32:13
@BenZvan: @MockTM ‘My cat was severely annoyed in the watching of this movie.’
2011-10-07 01:32:47
@tragedyman: @MockTM 27:30 – Female nipples. Because this movie was boring up until now.
2011-10-07 01:32:53
@DrRubidium: @MockTM He killed the cat?! That damn cat was the only living creature in this movie I liked!
2011-10-07 01:33:11
@drskyskull: @MockTM *Removing bricks* “Oh, there’s that Cask of Amontillado I lost all those years ago!”
2011-10-07 01:33:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Om nom cat eye. Because, you know, why not? Biomass is biomass.
2011-10-07 01:33:19
@szvan: @MockTM Luckily, no one ever really looks at mortar anyway.
2011-10-07 01:34:19
@DrRubidium: @MockTM ahhh…the ol’ body in the wall trick. That always works
2011-10-07 01:34:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Oh dammit, these brick walls never go back together the same way twice.”
2011-10-07 01:34:36
@tragedyman: @drskyskull Well, yes. @MockTM
2011-10-07 01:34:58
@BenZvan: @MockTM I’m against gay marriage because those queers brought a dead dog back to life up there once
2011-10-07 01:35:00
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Paranoiac” Oh, shit — are they talking about me?
2011-10-07 01:35:23
@szvan: @MockTM Someone needs to tell the scriptwriters the difference between characters and *characters*.
2011-10-07 01:36:30
@DrRubidium: @MockTM rats, cats, cats, rats… creepy Dr. Seuss
2011-10-07 01:37:19
@BenZvan: @MockTM I may not be decent but I’m sure going to be clean. *darn!*
2011-10-07 01:37:21
@tragedyman: @MockTM 32:00 – Random Act Of Violence Against A Cat!
2011-10-07 01:37:28
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Cats eat rats.” What he learned before dropping out of grade school biology.
2011-10-07 01:38:23
@BenZvan: @MockTM Ha ha ha ha ha…she’s pressing her underpants…ha ha ha…pressing business…get it? huh? huh? I kill me.
2011-10-07 01:38:31
@lousycanuck: @MockTM La Conkaroacha?
2011-10-07 01:38:50
@szvan: @MockTM I’d complain about this movie’s view of women, but given what I’ve got to compare it to….
2011-10-07 01:38:50
@BenZvan: @MockTM @szvan at least the women in this movie can almost act.
2011-10-07 01:39:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Thankfully this is in public domain, or Disney would be going after the Minnie Mouse ripoff.
2011-10-07 01:39:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM I think their bedroom has unknowingly been filled with helium.
2011-10-07 01:39:36
@tragedyman: @MockTM 33:20 – I wonder what silent film the Hell footage came from?
2011-10-07 01:39:43
@DrRubidium: @MockTM what is the point of this entire scene involving the showgirls? Are they going to die horribly soon?
2011-10-07 01:39:53
@BenZvan: @MockTM Hey…I wonder if he’s still ‘with’ that goofy professor…
2011-10-07 01:40:28
@tragedyman: @MockTM 34:20 – That must be the oddest random conversation ever.
2011-10-07 01:40:48
@BenZvan: @MockTM @DrRubidium Just making the connection to Showgirls. It’s future allusion.
2011-10-07 01:41:14
@szvan: @MockTM Oh! Here’s our problem. This isn’t a feature film. It’s a DSM training film! Of course, it’s still awful.
2011-10-07 01:41:19
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck See, I thought this had evolved into “Betty Boop versus the Maniac”
2011-10-07 01:41:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM During the “mixed phase”, you prefer mixed drinks.
2011-10-07 01:41:27
@tragedyman: @MockTM 36:00 – Nobody’s called Animal Care & Control on this guy yet?
2011-10-07 01:41:47
@drskyskull: @MockTM Wasn’t there an insane, murderous rapist on the loose a while ago? Did he fall down a well?
2011-10-07 01:42:26
@tragedyman: @MockTM 36:20 – Wait – Maxwell was married?!?
2011-10-07 01:42:46
@BenZvan: @MockTM @drskyskull Nobody really worries about insane, murderous rapists these days.
2011-10-07 01:43:08
@BenZvan: @MockTM Since when does jabbing someone in the eye quiet them?!!!
2011-10-07 01:43:42
@BenZvan: @MockTM you wanna buy a crazy woman? I’ve got one in the other room I’ve been tweeting…I mean treating…
2011-10-07 01:44:55
@tragedyman: @MockTM 37:10 – Did that actress have an unfortunate accident in a helium factory before her Hollywood career?
2011-10-07 01:44:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh boy, setting up for the famous Syringe Duel scene. Throwing syringes at one another from ten paces.
2011-10-07 01:45:30
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And after having dropped their syringes, the women start channeling the cats from earlier. They WERE the best actors after all.
2011-10-07 01:46:46
@szvan: @MockTM You see, women don’t really know how to fight, just how to tear each other’s clothes off.
2011-10-07 01:47:16
@tragedyman: @MockTM 39:45 – Some wife. She can’t even recognize her own husband standing in front of her?
2011-10-07 01:47:47
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this movie just took on a Dali-esque level of abstract weirdness usually only seen in underground Romanian alt-films :-0
2011-10-07 01:48:34
@BenZvan: @MockTM These bricks sound like cats! That’s suspicious! Get him!
2011-10-07 01:48:50
@drskyskull: @MockTM We interrupt this life-or-death struggle to show you this image of a bird.
2011-10-07 01:49:10
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, so *now* you figure out he’s crazy.
2011-10-07 01:49:19
@szvan: @MockTM “Maniac” brought to you by the team that created “Eugenics.”
2011-10-07 01:50:09
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Why must they end the music so abruptly on those psych flash cards?
2011-10-07 01:50:33
@BenZvan: @MockTM There are many people of unsound mind who find one particular thing unbearable…like this movie for example.
2011-10-07 01:50:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM The lesson: being a Vaudevillian actor makes you go crazy crazy.
2011-10-07 01:51:19
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Insanity is our defense against a world…” Speak for yourself, narrator!!!
2011-10-07 01:51:20
@BenZvan: @MockTM “bieysda keen meyken vensten eiken!”
2011-10-07 01:51:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I can’t help but feel spoiled by having seen Rocketship X-M before this.
2011-10-07 01:52:27
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I thought the movie was over… how long do I have to keep holding up my arms?”
2011-10-07 01:53:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM To clarify, I don’t mean Rocketship X-M is a direct sequel of Maniac. But if it was, there’d be a movie in between, I think.
2011-10-07 01:54:15
@tragedyman: @MockTM 46:30 – Now that they’ve ripped each other’s clothes off, shouldn’t they have started kissing?
2011-10-07 01:54:53
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Maniac” is like “Silence of the Lambs”, if Hannibal Lector were played by Jim Carrey.
2011-10-07 01:55:15
@szvan: @MockTM And now for video games, because the story line is infinitely better.
2011-10-07 01:55:33
@tragedyman: @MockTM 47:40 – “You’re crazy! What kind of a place is this?” We should have asked that at the beginning of this film.
2011-10-07 01:55:52
@tragedyman: @MockTM 49:00 – This is what makes the film informational, and excuses the nudity, cat fighting & bad acting.
2011-10-07 01:57:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM Now that I’m totally desensitized to absurdity, time to catch the end of “RoadHouse” on AMC.
2011-10-07 02:03:42
Pretty standard fare for a chat room.