Caturday: All Three Kittens Snuggling

I have a hypothesis about kittens and cuteness. Christina’s Theorem of Kitten Cuteness postulates that cuteness increases exponentially with the number of cats present. Thus, two kittens together aren’t twice as cute as one — they are four times as cute. And three kittens aren’t three times as cute as one — they are a full nine times as cute. There’s a law of diminishing returns with this rule, of course — there’s clearly a point at which the cuteness levels off and even diminishes, although researchers disagree as to where exactly that point is — so apparently fine-tuning is called for, and further research is needed.

But in support of my provisional hypothesis, I offer the following data set.

The researcher would like to thank Comet, Talisker, and Houdini for their participation in this study. Further theories on the cuteness of kittens can be found in my earlier treatise, Chocolate Chip Cookies and Cute Kittens: Compare and Contrast.

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Caturday: All Three Kittens Snuggling
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28 thoughts on “Caturday: All Three Kittens Snuggling

  1. 2

    Awwww, they are just too cute. My two are litter mates but it’s rare that they’ll even be in the same room with each other, let alone snuggle like that. I usually wake up with one of them on the bed and it’s always a surprise as to which one it will be.

  2. 3

    Dear Greta, the cuteness of the kitties is indisputable, but your law may require a little refinement. Your claim and your examples are not compatible. (Forgive me, I am a mathematician.)

    First, some notation: let the carat symbol (^) represent “to the power of” — so “a^b” means “a to the power of b.” And let the asterisk (*) denote multiplication — so “2*2” means “two times two” and equals 4.

    From your examples, it seems that cuteness is proportional to the square of the number of kitties (1^2 = 1*1 = 1; 2^2 = 2*2 = 4; 3^2 = 3*3 = 9). If it were exponential, then the cuteness would be growing at a much faster rate. If C is the cuteness of one kitty, then the cuteness of two kitties would be C squared (C^2 = C*C) and the cuteness of three kitties would be C cubed (C^3 = C*C*C).

    So, if the cuteness of one kitty is equal to a million (10^6), then based on your examples, two kitties would have cuteness 4 million, and three kitties would have cuteness 9 million.

    If it were exponential, however, the cuteness of two kitties would be one trillion (10^6*10^6 = 10^12), and three kitties would be one quintillion (10^6*10^6*10^6 = 10^18).

    In either case, there’s a heck of a lot of cuteness going on, but based on empirical data, I think cuteness is proportional to the square of the number of kitties. This is because being exposed to one quintillion units of cuteness would have caused my head to explode, and my head is clearly still here. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Thanks for all your writings and keep up the good work!

  3. 6

    There is a VERY important rule of diminishing cuteness. You see kittens have this bad habit of becoming cats.

    A kitten swatting at your nose is cute… an adult male cat swatting at your nose.. not so much.

    A half pound kitten sleeping on your tummy is cute. A 12-pound cat sleeping on your tummy hurts.

    Enjoy them while they last.

  4. Lyz
    8

    Oh geez. See, if those were my cats, they’d only be that close to one another because the big one had pinned down the little one in a fight and she is now screaming bloody murder and waking up everyone in the house.

    Enjoy your littermates!

  5. 10

    There is a corollary to the law, the relative cuteness of multiple kittens is inversely proportional to X+1 where X is the number of small rodents or birds that they have just brought in, and (X+1)^2 for every one of the aforementioned critters that they play with and then let lose indoors.

    This corollary has been observed on an observational basis by myself on numerous occasions, most recently as I was halfway through typing “corollary” for the second time (and having, between the two of us, corall all three cats while moving the sofa to retrieve the terrified mouse from under it).

  6. 12

    A related question is “how many kittens can you have before becoming a crazy cat lady?” It’s probably related to the diminishing returns issue.

  7. 13

    Shame Rebecca! You should know as a mathematician that you can fit an exponential to any 3 values :P! For example, the kittens in Greta’s example clearly fit the formula:
    Cuteness = b^(x-c) + a
    where x is the number of kittens
    a = -7/2
    b = 5/3
    c = 1 – ln(9/2)/ln(5/3)

    Which satisfies cuteness = 1, 4 , 9 kitten units for 1, 2 ,3 kittens respectively.

    This formula even satisfies the requirements that half a kitten be negative in cuteness (because eww…)

  8. 17

    >Thereโ€™s a law of diminishing returns with this rule, of course โ€” thereโ€™s clearly a point at which the cuteness levels off and even diminishes, <

    -Possibly when you look around and see an Animal Planet crew filming the next episode of Animal Hoarders? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Seriously though, them are some of darned cutest kitties I've ever seen.

    Tony (who really needs to get off this computer. I think I've posted everywhere in FTB over the last few hours)

  9. 21

    Oh dear, the tortie kitten looks SO much like my Polychrome! I got her when she was just 2 months old, 17 1/4 years ago, and had to put her to sleep in November. So I’m crying and awwwwing at the same time over these photos, and feeling very glad I have an office with a door.

  10. rob
    22

    i like kittens. they taste like chicken.

    (i hope my cat doesn’t read this or i might have an “accident” tonight on the stairs.)

  11. 23

    When I read the post, I bet myself that the first “exponential” correction would arrive within the first three comments. So your timing was perfect, Rebecca. ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. 24

    Now who was it that said female cats didn’t cuddle together? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    *pauses for breath*

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    Vindication is sweet, but not as sweet as your three kittehs…

  13. 26

    Observations (from way back):

    Standard 1 kitteh = 1 (I did only have one cat, for a few years).
    Standard 2 kitteh cuddle = 4.2 (I swear, it really is).
    White kitteh and black cocker spaniel napping together = 127.6 (dog is being the pillow for additional 39 points).
    2 toms (neutered, see above) pinning down kitten for a bath (much needed) = 1,431.
    kitten (above) hanging from ceiling trim (3 feet from bookcase used to get up there) = 3.5.

    Just a few data points to add to the graph.

  14. 28

    I think the best way to express the law is that multiple objects of cuteness are merely the sum of their parts if they are in the same frame but apart, while if they interact (even passively, like sleeping on each other) they become more. Diminishing returns kicks in when there are so many that they become a crowd, as the details that make up cuteness are averaged out.
    With the right interaction, this works with a subject that is not conventionally cute, most obviously with a vulnerable-protective dynamic. Relevant link: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoeCouplet
    As per accepted netiquette, accompanying link: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife
    Hope that helps. I like cuteness and I always analyze what I like.

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