Atheists experience great meaning and transcendent joy from life. We don’t need to think that our lives are infinite in order to think of them as meaningful, or to experience great joy in them. Permanence is not necessarily the best measure of value. Pass it on: if we say it enough times to enough people, it may get across.
Atheists are moral people, as much as anyone else. And religion is no guarantee of moral behavior. Religious believers lie, steal, cheat, rape, and kill. Religious belief is not only unnecessary for morality — it doesn’t seem to help. Pass it on: if we say it enough times to enough people, it may get across.
Please note: This piece includes some references to my personal sex life, and specifically to my tastes in porn. Family members and others who don’t want to read about that, please don’t. This piece was originally published on the Blowfish Blog.
The topic for today’s sermon:
Women who like gay male porn.
And people who are surprised by this.
It’s true that this desire hasn’t been reflected very much in the video porn industry — and video porn is what a lot of people default to when they think about “porn.” But “women don’t like gay porn” isn’t a very good explanation for this. (Some better ones: Women on average are more interested in written porn than videos. And the video porn industry can be idiots sometimes: they’re terrified of putting something on screen that might turn off straight guys; they largely ignore the potential of the women’s market; and even when they try to cater to women’s tastes in porn, they tend to get it laughably wrong.)
So those are the facts: Some women like gay male porn. Enough so that there are entire porn genres that cater to it.
And yet, many people seem deeply surprised by this. Many people assume that this phenomenon doesn’t exist, and will ponder the question of why women don’t like gay porn when so many guys love the girl-girl stuff And many people are entirely baffled when they hear about women who like all boy-boy action, wondering, “What on earth do they get out of it?”
So if you’re surprised by the fact that some women like to watch/ read about two men doing it, let me ask you this:
Are you surprised by the fact that some men like to watch/ read about two women doing it?
So if you’re puzzled by why some women are into porn with two guys, ask yourself: Why are some men — indeed, a whole lotta men — so excited by porn with two girls?
The answers vary, of course. Some men like girl-girl porn because they’re not attracted to men. Some are actively turned off by the sight of men; others really just prefer to look at women. They get off on femaleness — and they like to see a lot of it, undiluted by the maleness that they’re just not that into.
Moving on: Some men like girl-girl porn because they like the fantasy of a three-way (or four-way, or five-way, or whatever) that includes them. They like to watch two (or more) women do it because then they can project themselves into the scene. They like to look at all this delightful female pulchritude… and then imagine themselves as the center of it all.
And some men like girl-girl porn for the exact opposite reason: they like the alien-ness, the difference, of women, and of lesbians. They don’t want to project themselves into the scenario at all. They see women as excitingly mysterious, exotic even. They see lesbians in particular as enticingly out of reach. And they don’t want that mysterious allure tainted by the quotidian familiarity of men.
I’ve read other explanations for why women like boy-boy porn — explanations as varied as the women themselves. Some women like the fact that gay porn features seriously good-looking guys, while straight porn all too often succumbs to the “ugly guys with big dicks” phenomenon. Some like kinky porn, and they’ve found gay kinky porn to be harder and kinkier. Some like kinky porn with male tops, but aren’t comfortable watching women they don’t know get beaten and humiliated. Some like to watch intense butt-sex, and gay porn has plenty to spare. Etc. Etc. Etc. (And yes, for the record: The reasons some men like to watch girl-girl porn are wildly varied as well.)
I’m not sure what my point is here. I think my point is just this:
Yes, Virginia, some women like boy-boy porn. Exclusively, primarily, or as one of many porny varieties. And this fact is entirely unsurprising. Or it should be. The fact that some women like boy-boy porn should be no more surprising that the fact that some men — okay, lots of men — like girl-girl porn.
And if our culture took female sexual desire seriously, nobody would blink an eye at it.
If you believe in God, you should care more than anything about the universe you think he created. And you should be willing to rigorously examine the evidence about that universe, and follow it to whatever conclusion it leads to — even if it leads to the conclusion that God probably doesn’t exist. Pass it on: if we say it enough times to enough people, it may get across.
Hi, all. Just wanted to update you on the Ingrid situation, and the blogging situation which is directly related. Ingrid’s bad back turns out to be a ruptured disc, which is pretty effing serious. The long-term prognosis is very good — over 90% of people who get this get better — but at the moment she’s fairly incapacitated, and I’m spending a lot of my time taking care of her. So the blogging is going to be somewhat sparse in the next week, and possibly longer (we don’t really know how long her recovery is going to take). I’ll keep my hand in with reprints and Atheist Memes of the Day and maybe an occasional original piece, but it’s going to be a little more sporadic than usual. I’ll be back on track as soon as I can. Thanks for understanding.
If you think you don’t know any atheists, you’re almost certainly mistaken. Atheists are a significant minority of the population, around the U.S. and around the world. But because of anti-atheist bigotry and hostility, many atheists are not out about their atheism. Pass it on: if we say it enough times to enough people, it may get across.
The schedule for the Very Big Atheist Conference of 2011 has been finalized! There are some very exciting sessions planned, and some of your favorite atheist bloggers, writers, and activists will be there — so be sure to get your tickets early!
FRIDAY, APRIL 1
Maintaining a Rep as a Good-Natured Teddy Bear While Delivering Lethal Smackdowns to Theists
Hemant Mehta, “Friendly” Atheist
Cheese and “Crackers”
Sponsored by PZ Myers
SATURDAY, APRIL 2
Why Am I One of Only Two African-Americans Speaking at This Conference?
Yeah, What She Said
Wrath James White
Sponsored by Original Narwhal Kebabs
I Don’t Believe God’s On a Boat, I Don’t Believe That God’s a Goat
How To Irrelevantly Work References to Your Personal Sex Life Into Your Atheist Blogging
SUNDAY, APRIL 3
UPDATE: A number of people have asked about the location of the VBAC. It has just been announced: Darwin City, Australia.
Atheists are among the most maligned groups in the world, and most of the negative things you hear about us are simply attempts to marginalize us and trivialize our ideas. We do, however, eat babies. That one’s true. Don’t pass this on: if you tell anyone, we’ll have to kill you.