Very Big Atheist Conference of 2011 — Schedule Finalized!

The schedule for the Very Big Atheist Conference of 2011 has been finalized! There are some very exciting sessions planned, and some of your favorite atheist bloggers, writers, and activists will be there — so be sure to get your tickets early!

FRIDAY, APRIL 1

Coexist
1:00 PM
Why Are Atheists Bothering to Have a Conference to Talk About What They Don’t Believe In?
Concerned Ecumenicalist Interfaith Council
(attendance optional)

Hemant Mehta
2:15 PM
Maintaining a Rep as a Good-Natured Teddy Bear While Delivering Lethal Smackdowns to Theists
Hemant Mehta, “Friendly” Atheist

Narwhals
3:30 PM
How to Get the Narwhal Song Unstuck From Your Head When PZ Mentions It For the Twentieth Time
Pharyngulite Hordes

Cracker
6:00 PM
Reception
Cheese and “Crackers”
Sponsored by PZ Myers

SATURDAY, APRIL 2

Muffin basket
9:00 AM
Massages and Muffin Baskets: How Can We Be Nicer to Believers?
Matt Nisbet and Chris Mooney

Sikivu hutchinson
10:15 AM
Why Am I One of Only Two African-Americans Speaking at This Conference?
Sikivu Hutchinson

Wrath James White
11:30 AM
Yeah, What She Said
Wrath James White

Original narwhal kebabs
1:00 PM
Lunch
Shish Kebab
Sponsored by Original Narwhal Kebabs

Amanda marcotte
Ophelia benson
3:00 PM
A Kinder, Gentler Godlessness: Etiquette and Comportment for Atheist Ladies
Amanda Marcotte and Ophelia Benson
(BYO knitting needles)

DigCuttlefishbanner1
4:15 PM
I Don’t Believe God’s On a Boat, I Don’t Believe That God’s a Goat
Digital Cuttlefish

Greta Christina
5:30 PM
How To Irrelevantly Work References to Your Personal Sex Life Into Your Atheist Blogging
Greta Christina

Baby
7 PM
Dinner
Roasted Babies in Kitten Sauce, with Christian Martyr Flambe
Co-Sponsored by Freedom From Religion Foundation and Hemant “No Really, I’m a Nice Guy” Mehta

Daniel dennett
8 PM
Plenary Session
Narwhals: How Do They Cause a Commotion Simply by Being So Awesome — and What Can the Atheist Movement Learn From This?
Daniel Dennett

Bar
10 PM – 2 AM
“Networking”
Cocktail Lounge, and assorted private rooms throughout hotel (specific locations TBA)

SUNDAY, APRIL 3

Prayer
7:00 AM
Prayer Breakfast

Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
Invisible pink unicorn
9:00 AM
Flying Spaghetti Monster or Invisible Pink Unicorn: Which is the One True Faith?
(holy war to follow)

Atlas-shrugged-book-cover
10:15 AM
Why Ayn Rand is the Answer to Every… Hey, Don’t Roll Your Eyes! This Is Important!
Libertarian Atheist Thread Derailers, Local 242

Narwhals
11:30 AM
Narwhals, Narwhals, Swimming in the Ocean — Damn You, PZ!
Enraged Pharyngulite Hordes
(torches and pitchforks provided)

*****

UPDATE: A number of people have asked about the location of the VBAC. It has just been announced: Darwin City, Australia.

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Very Big Atheist Conference of 2011 — Schedule Finalized!
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35 thoughts on “Very Big Atheist Conference of 2011 — Schedule Finalized!

  1. 1

    Why Ayn Rand is the Answer to Every… Hey, Don’t Roll Your Eyes! This Is Important!
    Libertarian Atheist Thread Derailers, Local

    First, Ayn Rand despised Libertarians, because they are too stupid to become Objectivists.
    Second, there is NO WAY that lecture will be over by 11:30. The final Narwhals, Narwhals, Swimming in the Ocean event needs to be rescheduled for the next day, or maybe even the next week, in order to allow plenty of time for the Ayn Rand event.

  2. 2

    “Maintaining a Rep as a Good-Natured Teddy Bear While Delivering Lethal Smackdowns to Theists”
    It’s a pity that’s only an April Fools’ joke, because that would probably be a great lecture.

  3. 5

    The Cheese and Crackers event with PZ Myers, I’m happy to announce, will feature consecrated hosts in new crowd-pleasing flavors, Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese.
    (Because of allergy problems at our last event, this year the Kitten Dip will not be made with real kittens.)

  4. 7

    And when is the session “How for an Atheist to Talk to a Believer without Sounding Aggressive?”
    I really need to attend that one, according to a local priest, as pointing out the flaws in his arguments about how jeesoos resurrected always is aggressive.
    Always the negative waves, Moriarty!

  5. 12

    I simply can’t wait. Just think, a year from today all the tragic mockery and combativeness and energy and fury will have disappeared from the atheist movement, and harmony will reign everywhere. We will all be able to unite with our believing fellow Murkans for the purpose of…whatever.

  6. 13

    I am disgusted that, once again, the all- toddler workshop that I moderate “There Ain’t no Santa Claus: Building the Next Generation of Atheists” has been left off the schedule! It’s true– you atheists are meaner than snakes. I’ll be in the corner with my altar to Mithras, if anybody cares.

  7. 18

    If you people think you’re getting kittens from Atheist Ailurophiles, you’ve got another thing coming. Also, we plan to boycott the event if you DON’T use faux-kittens in the kitten sauce.
    Plus, we want to commend the dipmakers for using faux-kittens. Wasn’t it Brother Richard himself who said “Blessed are the dipmakers, for they will be called the children of Darwin.”?

  8. Kel
    19

    I can’t wait for the Nisbet and Mooney talk.
    Also, you’re working the Pharyngulite hordes pretty hard. Especially by putting them on after the Objectivists / Libertarians. That’s not going to down well with the Pharyngulites…

  9. 25

    Is it just me or does the invisible pink unicorn look an awful lot like a narwhal…then again, they are the unicorns of the sea…

  10. 29

    I would totally go to this. I’d even give a talk, if there was an open conference room somewhere. How about “How to Make Friends with Republican Senators”? I can say modestly that it’s a talent of mine!

  11. Nan
    33

    Brilliant. Another one of those glad I wasn’t drinking coffee while reading moments, especially when I saw the cheese and crackers entry.

  12. 34

    OK, that interesting, have to do what it takes to make it happen, just like you imagined it.
    I would love to see Dennett explain how Narwhals are awesome πŸ˜›

  13. 35

    First of April is the real Eastern.Light a candel now! Any other date is a fake!
    Next year I will give a lecture on the worst joke ever, the 2000 years old one.

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