It’s called On The Ubiquity Of Shaving, and here’s the teaser:
My initial reaction is to be against it. I don’t like the idea of any specific form of sexual expression being de rigueur. I think that sex is too personal, and too important, for it to be controlled by the whims of fashion. I don’t like the idea of people shaving their pubic hair just because all the cool kids are doing it… any more than I like the idea of people doing bondage, or having three-ways, or saving their virginity for marriage, just because all the cool kids are doing it. Sex is too special for that — and people’s sexualities are too unique, and too idiosyncratic, for that.
And I have issues with what I strongly suspect is the source of this trend: namely, mainstream commercial porn. I hate the idea of porn being the trendsetter, the sexual yardstick by which our sexual activity is measured. The sex in mainstream commercial porn is highly exaggerated; it’s choreographed primarily to look good on camera, not to feel good for the participants; it focuses largely on male pleasure at the expense of female pleasure; and it’s standardized to an almost ritualistic degree that would be laughable if it weren’t so sad. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Porn is not sex education. It scares and saddens me to think of an entire generation of sexually active adults getting their ideas about what is and isn’t normal/ acceptable/ desirable in sex from porn.
So. All that bugs me.
But. Yet. On the other hand.
I will also say this:
To find out what else I have to say about this — and why I think the increasing ubiquity of pubic hair shaving is a complicated question with both positive and negative aspects — read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!
I like shaved genitalia just as much as I like implanted breasts.
Which is to say, not at all.
Quite agree, Greta; this is one of my bugbears. I’m a hetero male of the generation that went through adolescence in the seventies and to most of us pubic hair was a huge turn-on. Not because of what we saw in porn (we really didn’t see that much in those distant, pre-internet days) but because, I think, it represented sexual maturity. It was a clear and visible secondary sexual characteristic that we found as enticing as any other. And that seems to be a very healthy sort of sexual response, to me.
I hear many younger hetero males these days not merely expressing a preference for shaved (or heavily trimmed) pubes but, more disturbingly, expressing revulsion towards unshaved pubes. And that seems to be a very unhealthy sort of sexual response. It seems to be a response moulded, as you say, by phoney porn. And sometimes, when I see the popularity of hentai-style porn featuring wide-eyed, pre-pubescent girls (and boys) I wonder if this preference doesn’t also feature a disturbing element of paedophilia. Non-hairy genitals are, after all, normally a sign of prepubescence.
It’s certainly worth talking about. Oh, nice to meet you and Ingrid at the AAI Convention by the way. I was the Brit who said hi. 🙂
I’m a 30-something hetero male, and I prefer shaved genitalia. It has little to do with porn… And I’m not repulsed by unshaven genitalia… But I’ve always preferred things smooth, and had issues with hair/fuzz.
It annoys me to no end to shave my face every day, but I can’t stand it when I start getting scruffy. The prickly bits drive me mad.
I can’t eat a peach, because the fuzz straight-up repels me.
I can’t stand touching some rough things, like sandpaper or wooden pencils.
I really like oils, latex, leather, satin, and various other smooth/slick things like that.
And when it comes to intimacy – I like soft, smooth, slippery skin.
That’s actually pretty close to the reason I don’t shave (anywhere). Hair is all right but I can’t stand stubble. If I have a few busy days in a row when I barely have time to shower and brush my teeth, I really don’t want to have to deal with my skin starting to feel like sandpaper.
I don’t think much of shaved genitals either, but then, there are so many unsexy things in porn that it is hard to focus on just one, even for a moment. It’s almost as if they were using attractive women to lure you into watching, and then punishing you for watching by using every trick in the book to kill your arousal!
As someone who doesn’t shave, and who has had guys turned off by this fact, it bothers me that it’s become the new standard. Partially because I don’t think most women are coming away from shaving with “look at all my pretty parts that were hiding under that hair” but “ew, nasty, unhygenic, smelly hair,” and partially because some of the worst “I won’t date women who don’t shave” offenders turn out to be overall sexist assholes/a bad lay.
On the other hand, I do trim, and most of the men I’ve had sex with/told this to were just happy to know that I paid attention the condition of my pubic area. It’s like people are afraid that if a woman isn’t sculpting somehow, she’s not even washing. Which does go both ways. when I ask a guy if he shaves and I get the “no, I tried it and ball stubble is the itchiest thing ever” response, they are always quick to point out that they wash all the more meticulously.
So, my problem with it: yet another way to objectify women and waste my morning on a “beauty regime”
Good thing: it seems to cut both ways; although men with chest hair: stop shaving! your chest stubble is creepy and the opposite of cuddly!
As a 27 year old male, I will admit to shaving. I was curious what it was like after seeing it in porn for so long, so yes, that was an influence. However, the reason that I continue to do it has nothing to do with fashion; I just enjoy the feel of it.
I think Dr. Evil was quite correct when he said, admittedly as part of a joke, “There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.”
“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Porn is not sex education.”
It Shouldn’t be sex education, but it is for millions of kids and teens, one of the reasons there should be better sex education in schools.
As for the shaving part, I am also a 27-year old male (like another reader/commenter), and I prefer the shaved look.
Some people I’ve talked to about bodies have said that the (naked) female body is beautiful and the male body tends to look awkward, not sure I fully agree but I can understand the opinion.
If viewed as art, I personally tend to view smooth, curved lines in sculptures/statues as more eye-pleasing than sharp(er) angles. The pubic hair tends to add roughness to an otherwise smooth curve of the body. I don’t find it repulsive, only not as eye-pleasing. Additionally, the feel of the skin without hair on it is softer than the same skin with hair on it.
Some may view a man with a wild, untrimmed beard (or hair… on his head) disgusting or unhygienic because he doesn’t keep it looking like he cares about his appearance at all, I can only assume, for some, it’s the same with pubic hair. Additionally, with the apparent rise in the occurrence of oral sex, it’s possible that loose hair in the mouth/teeth isn’t particularly desirable.
Expressing a preference for a trimmed or shaved pubic area is not step one on the road to pedophilia. Seriously, people. We all shave other parts of our bodies. Women their legs and pits. Men their faces. And these are all natural signs of sexual maturity, too. I don’t see anyone freaking out about those.
Here’s a novel way to think about it. Previously, nobody GAVE a shit what their junk looked like. Today at least we’re acknowledging that it EXISTS and that we are taking some interest and pride in its appearance. Big and bushy, neatly clipped or shaved bald–at least it’s a sign of abandoning puritanical inclinations to ignore and take no pleasure in it at all.
Jack,
Associating those who don’t share your sexual tastes with pedophiles is a rhetorical move in the same class as associating your political opponents with Nazism. It’s cheap, inflammatory, and completely out-of-bounds in civilized discourse.