Please note: This post includes extensive and detailed descriptions of my personal sex life. Family members and others who don’t want to read about that stuff are advised to stay as far away from this one as possible.
But I didn’t see any reason to do it anonymously. (Although, to be honest, my list would have looked somewhat different if I were posting it to an anonymous blog…)
So here, in no particular order, are 25 things about my sexuality. If you want to play, you can do so on the 25 Things blog… or you can do it on your own blog and post a link here if you like… or you can do it in a comment here, as long as you keep it reasonably concise. (More concise than I did, at any rate.)
FYI: If this seems more focused on my sexual history and my mental and emotional sex life rather than my current physical sex life, there’s a reason for that. I respect Ingrid’s privacy and don’t like revealing too much about our sex life together; so I’m focusing on those parts of my sexuality that I can reveal without violating her privacy.
2: I don’t remember the first time I masturbated. The first time I remember, I was about seven or eight; but my memory of that experience is that it was already a familiar one.
3: I have never had a three-way with a man and a woman. Or with two men, for that matter. My only three-ways have been with two other women.
4: I have never been successfully fisted. The times I tried, it didn’t work, wasn’t that fun, and didn’t seem worth the trouble.
6: It’s been about eight or nine years since I had any kind of genital sex with a man. (I remember the event, but not the exact date.) It has been over eleven years since I had intercourse with a man.
7: The majority of my sex fantasies are about men. I think it’s because I’m not having sex with men and haven’t for a while, and I tend to fantasize about what I’m not doing.
8: Most (although not all) of my sex fantasies are about some sort of force, coercion, violation of trust, or abuse of power. While I don’t basically have any problem with this — I don’t think any fantasy is unethical — I sometimes find it a bit unsettling, and don’t really understand it. My personality is generally fairly sunny, and I’m not sure why my fantasy life is so dark.
10: I have been having sadomasochistic sex fantasies for as long as I can remember.
11: As of this writing, I look at the SpankingTube free video site several times a week.
12: For most of my adult life, I never had any trouble reaching orgasm. This has changed somewhat in the last couple of years, as my body has been changing with middle age. It’s kind of annoying.
14: As a result of #13, I have a hard time understanding or being sympathetic with people who stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being alone.
15: During my single years, most of the sex I got was with women I met through personal ads.
16: I worked as a stripper in a peep show for several months. Now I’m never quite sure how much I should publicly identify myself as a sex worker. I feel that if I don’t, I’m playing into the stigma and shame about sex work; but if I do, I’m leeching off of the interest in sex workers, and claiming sex worker street cred, in a way that I haven’t really earned, since I wasn’t working in the hard-core trenches and only did it for a fairly short time.
17: My relationship with Ingrid is non-monogamous; but apart from flirting with other people in a serious way that might have gone somewhere but ended up not, I haven’t acted on it in a little while. Mostly this is because I’m working two jobs and don’t have the time or energy; but I sometimes fear that I’ve lost some of the courage and self- confidence to pursue casual sex partners that I had when I was younger.
19: I enjoy kinky/ sadomasochistic porn where men dominate women, or with lesbians or gay men. I am, however, almost entirely uninterested in porn where women dominate men. I actually find most of it an active turn-off.
20: I can sometimes have mini-orgasms — not full-on orgasms, but little spasms of arousal and release — just by thinking about sex.
22: When I write porn, I get very turned on, but I try to hold off on masturbating or having sex for as long as I can…. because once I come, I lose my momentum and my interest in the story, and have to wait a while before I pick up the energy again.
23: I get off on porn where women get spanked until they cry.
24: I once paid a professional submissive to spank her and dominate her. The only reason I haven’t paid for sex or kink since then is that I can’t afford it.
So those are my 25. I could keep going, but I think that’s enough intimate revelation for one day. If you decide to play, please feel free to share your link here if you like. Happy sailing!