Note to family members and others who don’t want to read about my personal sex life: While the focus of this post is on sexual things that I don’t engage in rather than sexual things that I do, it still discusses my personal sex life, as well as my fantasy life, in quite a bit of detail. If you don’t want to read about that stuff, please don’t.
It may seem strange, but although I’ve been practicing SM for about twenty years now, I have almost never done what is almost certainly the most common form of SM play. As a top, I’ve done punishment less than a handful of times… and I’ve done it as a bottom exactly never, except in a jokey, “wink-wink,” kidding around way.
It’s not that I haven’t done role-playing. But the role-playing I’ve done hasn’t been about, “You’ve been bad, so I’m going to punish you.” It’s been about, “I have power over you, so I’m going to do what I want with you.” Punishment has just never interested me.
No, more than that. Punishment has actively freaked me out.
Lately, however, punishment has been sneaking into my fantasies with increasing insistence, and increasing stubbornness.
So I want to look at what it is about punishment that freaks me out… and what it is about it that I’m beginning to find so compelling.
For more on why I find this form of play both compelling and freaky, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!