I just got my copy of Harry Potter (I ordered it from the U.K. to get the edition that’s not translated into American English — how nerdy is that?), and it just arrived today. So I’m taking a brief blog break while I geek out. See you in a few days — with a winner of the prediction contest!
There are legal reasons why they’re not equal — marriage is recognized in every state and indeed every country, while civil unions aren’t; so the rights and responsibilities don’t necessarily travel with you when you leave the state that granted them. There are emotional reasons — marriage is an institution/ ritual/ relationship that has existed for thousands of years, one that has tremendous resonance in our culture in a way that civil unions simply don’t. And there are moral reasons — as history has born out, separate but equal is pretty much by definition not equal.
But if none of those convince you, here’s a really good practical one.
1 out of 7. 14 percent.
If 14 percent of married couples in New Jersey were being denied full, legally-guaranteed marriage benefits by their employers, there’d be outraged stories on every news source in the region, and quite possibly rioting in the streets.
So civil unions aren’t just legally unequal to marriage; they’re not just emotionally unequal; they’re not even just morally unequal. They’re unequal in the most literal, practical sense of the word. Even in the state where the civil union is the law, people in civil unions are not being treated the same by their employers as people who are married.
(Thanks to Good As You for putting the press release on their site.)
And the winner is…
Thank you all so much for your feedback on the pictures! I didn’t see anything like consensus on one image that clearly stood out from the rest — which was, in fact, useful information. The only opinions on which there was anything even resembling consensus were (a) that the “scary” picture was out (since that was the one I was most strongly leaning towards, the strong “No” was very helpful to know about), and (b) that the current one with the tricorn is perfectly lovely. So I’m sticking with it for now. Eventually I’ll want to replace it, since it is several years out of date, but I’m no longer in any hurry.
As to HTML in the comments: Only a couple of people expressed a strong opinion about it, and those people disagreed. So for now, I’m going to keep things the way they are (i.e., no HTML enabled in the comments, and URLs automatically converted to live links), since that’s what people are used to with my blog. If anyone else has a strong opinion about that, do let me know. And thanks again, everyone! I loved all the comments and observations and very much appreciated all the thought y’all put into it, and the whole process has been vastly entertaining. Ta!
Humanist Symposium #5 is up at The Green Atheist. If you want to read good atheist blogging that’s positive about atheism instead of being critical of religion, this carnival’s theme is exactly that. (I don’t have anything in the Symposium this time around, but I have in the past and think it’s likely that I will in the future.)
And the Carnival of the Godless #71 is up at the excellently-named Aardvarchaeology. I submitted two posts to CotG this time, since I couldn’t decide which I liked better and thought I’d let them choose, and they very kindly included both: Craig Thompson’s “Blankets”: Atheism in Pop Culture Part 3, on the problem of teaching religion as if it had the authority of fact (especially to children); and The True Faith: Liberal and Conservative Christianity, on the problem of liberal Christians accusing the Christian Right of not being true Christians. Thank you, nice archaeologist!
Please note: This post contains references to my personal sexuality and sexual practices. The post that it links to, even more so. Family members and others who don’t want to read that, now would be a good time to disembark.
But there are some roles that I either don’t have in me — or that I don’t want to tap into if I do. I don’t want to find my inner Nazi, or my inner slave-owner. If I have one, I don’t want to get to know it. I don’t want to make friends with it. And I really don’t want to get off on it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people who do, any more than I think there’s anything wrong with me for getting off on my inner martyred doormat or my inner sadistic bitch. I just don’t want to go there.
And it suddenly occurred to me:
I bet this is how men who don’t want to spank women feel.
To find out more, check out the rest of the piece. Enjoy!
Hi, y’all. I’m thinking of making a couple of changes to my blog setup, and I wanted to poll my readers on it before I do.
On the other hand, it is quirky, which I like. And it’s unlike most other blog portraits I’ve seen, so it does set me apart from the crowd. And it is the one I’ve had for a long time, so maybe people are familiar with it and identify it with my blog, and I should just leave well enough alone.
So here are the other ones I’m considering.
So what are your thoughts? Please vote!
And the second and final question: To HTML, or not to HTML?
I chose to go with the latter, since it seemed more friendly to your average commenter who might not be up on HTML and might not know how to create live links. But enough people here have mentioned the fact that they can’t use HTML in their comments, so I thought I’d ask. Would you rather be able to do HTML in your comments, or would you rather have any URLs in your comments automatically converted to live links without having to know HTML to do it? Let me know. And thanks for reading the blog, everybody!
This is one of the smartest, most thoughtful things I’ve read lately about sex — not just porn or SM, but sex — and I wanted to call y’all’s attention to it and talk about it a little.
I think the thing I like so much about this piece is that it makes the parallels between making spanking porn and doing any other kind of job vividly clear. And it makes the parallels between making spanking porn and being in any other kind of sexual relationship vividly clear as well.
Copyright 2005 Greta Christina. Written for Adult FriendFinder Magazine.
9 Songs. Directed by Michael Winterbottom. Written by Michael Winterbottom, Kieran O’Brien and Margo Stilley. Starring Kieran O’Brien and Margo Stilley. Unrated.
Now obviously, if I were talking about a porno movie, this would be so uninteresting as to be laughable. But for a non-porn, semi-mainstream art-house movie, it’s pretty much unheard of. And whatever buzz is being generated about the movie is being generated because of it. Which is kind of too bad. Because while the sex in “9 Songs” is pretty interesting, the fact that it’s “real sex” isn’t the most interesting thing about it.
So I wanted to get that out of the way right off. And in fact, the movie gets it out of the way almost as quickly, establishing its “real-sex” credentials in the very first scene between the two main characters — so you can get a good look at it, and get used to it, and move on.
For instance. There’s a scene where Matt ties Lisa up, blindfolds her, and begins guiding her through a fantasy, telling her “Forget where you are” and making up an erotic story for her to imagine and enjoy. But almost immediately she takes over the storytelling, picking it up and running with it in an entirely different direction, taking control away even as she’s bound and blindfolded.
For another instance. There’s a scene where Matt and Lisa go to a strip club together, apparently to enjoy this naughty thrill together as a couple. But as the scene unfolds, Lisa become increasingly entranced with the dancer, ignoring Matt entirely and even forgetting that he’s there — to the point that she doesn’t notice when he takes off and walks out the door.