I recently found out that thereâs been an entertaining flare-up in the blog-world about blowjobs. It all started when Twisty of âi blame the patriarchyâ said, on the topic of blowjobs, that âno woman, since the dawn of the patriarchal co-option of human sexuality, has ever actually enjoyed this submissive sexbot drudgery.â Several other folks have been joining in the fun, including on Salon and even the Daily Kos (although there the conversation quickly degenerated into a argument over whether it was a waste of time and energy to discuss blowjobs when people are dying in Darfur).
So of course, I have to throw my belated hat into the ring. Here it is: my dykeâs defense of blowjobs.
Please note: Very personal sex talk ahead. If that will embarass you, please turn the page.
But in fact, Iâm not a lesbian. Iâm bisexual. Itâs not completely inconceivable that I might have wound up in an LTR with a man instead of a woman.
And if I had, Iâd feel exactly the same way.
Okay, not exactly the same way. Iâm not quite as crazy about cock as I am about pussy. But pretty damn similar. Iâve certainly felt that way when Iâve been involved with men in the past.
And hereâs what I want to know. If you donât feel that way — then what the hell are you doing involved with men? If you think giving men sexual pleasure is patriarchal drudgery, why on earth would you have sex with them at all?
But donât act like your personal gross-out is some sort of righteous political stance. Thatâs just ridiculous. Most people like giving their lover pleasure. Some of us like doing it with our mouths. If you donât, then donât do it. You have every right to your quirks — but they donât make you a superior feminist.
Thoughts? About blowjobs, or the political complications of male-female sex, or how we should all be ashamed of ourselves for wanting to talk about this instead of the slaughter in Darfur?
Oh, and a quick shout-out to the Nettles here (my longsword dance team). I polled them tonight about whether my next blog posting should be about North Korea, Matthew Barney, or blowjobs — and blowjobs won unanimously. Global politics and conceptual art are just going to have to wait.