Remembering Niki Massey: Blog Roundup

[Updated to add new memorial posts. They are underneath the Basho poem at the bottom.]

I think Niki Massey would be astonished by the lives she touched and the impact she had. When you’re living in a country that values white skin, conventional beauty, thinness, able bodies, religion, heterosexuality, and political conservatism, it’s horribly difficult to feel good about yourself when you’re none of those things. But because Niki defied pretty much every convention ever, and wasn’t quiet about it, she was the kind of person who means the world to need an advocate. She was someone who didn’t pull punches. She was someone who didn’t suffer injustice in silence. She was someone who felt the fear and didn’t always succeed but tried her heart out anyway. She was someone who kept going no matter how much she wanted to quit. She was everything to us.

A lot of people have memorialized her beautifully. I’ll be sharing as many of those memorials as I can over the next few days. Today, we’ll start with one of my favorite pictures of her, and the blog posts I’ve found so far. Please do feel free to add links to any of them at Ronja Addams-Moring’s Facebook post or in the comments here. And if you want to add a message to those who are remembering Niki, please do comment at my Facebook page. I’ll be collecting those tributes into a post later this week.

Image shows Niki Massey outside, standing in front of a red car, taking a selfie. She's dyed her black locs red, and they are pulled back by a headband. She's wearing red-stemmed black-rimmed glasses. She has huge silver lightning bolt earrings, and is wearing a tank dress that looks like the cosmos, in shades of pink and blues and white and purples. She has an almost Mona Lisa smile. She's wearing a black chain necklace with a huge rectangular shell pendant in peach shades.
Niki Massey, from her Facebook page. She had a magnificent style. I’m going to miss her makeup and clothes selfies along with everything else about her.

Continue reading “Remembering Niki Massey: Blog Roundup”

Remembering Niki Massey: Blog Roundup

Sunday Song: For Niki

Niki Massey is gone. She was one of the best of us. I don’t know if she ever knew that, or believed us when we told her. I wish I had one last minute with her. I wish I had a minute to tell her how good and brave and brilliant and beautiful she was, and how much better the world was for having her in it.

I wish she could see the outpouring of love on her Facebook wall. I wish she could hear all of the words from the people she’s touched.

She was kind, and fierce, and she never stopped trying no matter how much circumstances made her despair. She was always there for people. She always had the sharpest insight, and the right words, and the biggest heart of us all.

And now she is gone. And the world will never be the same. There’s a great big gaping hole where she should be.

Niki. I love you, and I miss you, and I am ferociously glad I had the privilege of knowing you. I’m so glad we were colleagues. And I know I’m not the only one who will be fighting for the things you wanted to change. If I have to burn down the world to change it for you, I will. You deserve nothing less.

Niki loved VNV Nation. I remember how thrilled I was to find out. We didn’t really get a chance to geek out over them. I don’t know what her favorite song was. But this reminds me of her.

Rest in power.

Image shows Niki Massey, a beautiful black woman with shoulder-length locs, wearing a black felt hat. She is pulling her glasses down and winking at the camera without smiling.
Niki Massey. Image from her Facebook wall.

If you want to share memories of her to be preserved in a post on my blog, please go to my Facebook page.

My love and deepest sympathy to her chosen family and friends.

Continue reading “Sunday Song: For Niki”

Sunday Song: For Niki

New at Rosetta Stones: Ice Age Adventures at the Burke!

We had a lot on the agenda this month, but don’t think I forgot about our virtual tour of the Burke Museum! In Part 4, we visit Washington’s Ice Age, make friends with a very huge mastodon, and see the beautiful, functional art created by the first human residents. Enjoy!

Image shows a mastodon skeleton's leg. It's standing on rocky ground, beside a tan boulder almost its own color. There is a bit of blue-white glacial ice in the background.

New at Rosetta Stones: Ice Age Adventures at the Burke!

Please Help Me and Misha Make Rent! Donate to ETEV Today!

It’s a long story that my Facebook friends already know, but the canvassing job I had over the summer ended. I do have another job to supplement writing income, but it’s commission-based and I won’t see any proceeds for at least another couple of weeks. In the meantime, Misha and I could use your help to keep us both fed and housed, plus meet other expenses that decided to pile up at a bad time. The car still needs repair, and its tag is expiring in a few days. So if you’ve got a bit to spare, we could definitely use your help!

And you’ll get perks! There are even new perks! Here’s what you get with your donation: Continue reading “Please Help Me and Misha Make Rent! Donate to ETEV Today!”

Please Help Me and Misha Make Rent! Donate to ETEV Today!

All Cis Men Need To Read This, Right Now

This is important. I want all of the cis men who clicked on this post to read this exchange. Start with this photo and click all the way through to the end. (Source:  my excellent Facebook friend Anna Jobsis).

Content note for sexual assault, victim-blaming bullshit, rape culture apologia.

If you think Carlos is making really good points and sounds really reasonable, you need to start educating yourself on what rape culture is. Now. Before you open your mouth to advise a woman on what she should or shouldn’t do. Before you nod along with your fellow dudes while they’re explaining this shit at women. Before you ever say one more fucking word, shut up and do some learning.

And keep in the forefront of your mind that what I’m saying applies to trans women, genderfluid, and nonbinary people just as much. Cis and trans women, along with people coded or read as women or femme, but who don’t identify as women, all have to deal with all this shit. And it’s constant. Carlos is just one vivid example in an endless septic ocean of them. Carlos is just one guy among millions who thinks he’s a nice dude and helping women out, but who is actually throwing toxic sludge all over them.

And you, dear reader, may also be a Carlos. I know you don’t mean to be. But you’ve been socialized that way, and most of you haven’t spent much time rethinking your assumptions. I know this because I was once a Carlita. I absorbed those same toxic rape culture messages and passed them on. Yes, women can perpetuate this shit, too, but it’s mostly men doing it, and we need you to stop. It can be done. If I can learn it, anyone can.

Image is the boss from Office Space. Caption says, "Yeah, if you could stop promoting rape culture, that'd be great."

So let’s go back through Carlos’s lecture. As you’re reading, ask yourself some questions: Continue reading “All Cis Men Need To Read This, Right Now”

All Cis Men Need To Read This, Right Now

(Repost) “An Unmitigated Disaster” – Escape Chapter 15: Hawaii

This chapter really highlights how dysfunctional Carolyn’s family is, and how fucked up FLDS doctrine is – and keep in mind, this is before Warren Jeffs took over and it got extreme.

Imagine getting the opportunity to vacation in Hawaii. Awesome! Only… you have to go with the husband you hate. Not as awesome. And he’s taking two of his other wives… so not awesome. And your husband doesn’t even bother to tell you and your sister wives that you’re going: he just kind of lets you find out on your own… even less awesome. And you’re pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. Now we’re pretty fucking far from awesome.

Content note: emetophobia, emotional abuse, family drama, mention of rape.

Merril usually isn’t interested in his wives other than Barbara, but in the FLDS, you have to at least keep up an appearance of treating all wives equally, and his tendency to only take Barbara on long trips is getting noticed. Because a woman can only get messages from God through her husband, it can damage his standing in the community if he appears to be failing at the task of keeping his family under control. Merril has tried to keep the illusion of equality going by keeping most of his younger wives pregnant. But that only gets him so far. So he figures he’ll knock down three long trips in one and haul three of his wives to Hawaii. Continue reading “(Repost) “An Unmitigated Disaster” – Escape Chapter 15: Hawaii”

(Repost) “An Unmitigated Disaster” – Escape Chapter 15: Hawaii

Protected: “God is Going to Destroy His Life” – Escape Chapter 27: Harrison’s Cancer

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Protected: “God is Going to Destroy His Life” – Escape Chapter 27: Harrison’s Cancer

Supernatural Summary S1 E14 – “Nightmare”

Today’s summary comes courtesy of Zeroth, who kindly took over the task for me. I’ve added counts, but if you want all the luscious screenshots, you gotta click the link.

Thank you, Zeroth!

Content note: suicide, interpersonal violence, child physical abuse

This week,  Sam’s nightmares are coming true, people are dying, and Dean gets shot.

The cold open starts with an ordinary oldish car being driven at night through a suburban neighborhood. The middle-aged man driving the car pulls into his garage. As the garage door closes, the doors suddenly get locked and will not let him out.

The engine turns back on and the exhaust starts suffocating the man. He struggles to get out of the car, eventually succumbing to the fumes.

Death by Monstrosity: 1

After a flash of light, Sam wakes up, sweaty, in yet another seedy motel room. He pushes Dean to get up and get to the victim Sam just dreamed about.

In the Impala, Sam pretends to be a Michigan state trooper and calls in the license plate details he saw in his dream. Continue reading “Supernatural Summary S1 E14 – “Nightmare””

Supernatural Summary S1 E14 – “Nightmare”

(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IVc: Wherein the Climate Heats Up

Onward, Christianist weather! We’re warming up with some global warming talk today. While SPC was content to devote a mere text box to climate change, basically blowing raspberries at anyone who gives a shit about it and waving off dramatic increases in greenhouse gas emissions by proclaiming hey, plants love carbon dioxide!, BJU’s Earth Science 4th Edition isn’t satisfied with blurting a few facts and moving on. No, there’s a whole chapter on the subject. And, people, they are the totes reasonable ones. They’re right in the middle. Look: they sneer at both sides!

They begin with a very telling couplet of sentences: Continue reading “(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IVc: Wherein the Climate Heats Up”

(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IVc: Wherein the Climate Heats Up