(Repost) Adventures in ACE IX: More Senseless about Sedimentary

We left our merry band of Creationists, so ignorant even other YECs can’t stand ’em, breezily ignoring all the sedimentary rock in previously-frozen wastes. Now we shall continue on while they butcher the rest. I hope you have hair. You’re gonna need some to pull out. If nature has blessed you with a pate that requires no shampoo, you may wish to glue some locks to your noggin. Don’t worry about having to acquire appropriate hair-care products: they won’t be there for long.

Now just imagine having to read this tripe repeatedly…

Image is a polar bear standing against a rock wall with its front paws over its face. Caption says, "Ahhh, the horror! Make it stop."

Continue reading “(Repost) Adventures in ACE IX: More Senseless about Sedimentary”

(Repost) Adventures in ACE IX: More Senseless about Sedimentary
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Protected: (Tier 1) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XXXVIII: Wherein We Are Deluged with Nonsense

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(Repost) “I Won’t Let You Deny Me My Dignity” – Escape Chapter 16: Giving Birth in the FLDS

So, you know how the FLDS takes ordinary things and turns them into something horrible? Then you won’t be surprised at all to see them do it with childbirth.

Content note for emetophobia, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, child abuse, coercion, sexual coercion, gaslighting, and victim blaming.

Carolyn is seven months pregnant, and has to regularly dash from her second grade classroom to vomit due to morning sickness. But she loves teaching and doesn’t want to leave her students. They and her own children are the only people who make her life worthwhile.

But her children are a vulnerability as well as a delight. The other wives find excuses to chastise and punish her young son in order to provoke and attack Carolyn by proxy. Continue reading “(Repost) “I Won’t Let You Deny Me My Dignity” – Escape Chapter 16: Giving Birth in the FLDS”

(Repost) “I Won’t Let You Deny Me My Dignity” – Escape Chapter 16: Giving Birth in the FLDS

Protected: (Tier 1) “Our Crisis Had Escalated” – Escape Chapter 27: Harrison’s Cancer

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(Repost) Adventures in ACE VIII: Senseless About Sedimentary

Please tell me you’ve set up a padded room so you can read these posts in safety. I’d be inconsolable if you did yourself an injury because of these explorations in the whacky world of ACE.

I’m telling you right now: don’t keep reading until you’ve rage-proofed your room.

You know enough Flood “geology” bullshit by now to know that nothing good can come of creationist ignoramuses talking about sedimentary rocks. So let’s ease in by noting some good news: turns out you can be a dentist if you’re a brown person in ACE world, as long as you’ve got the proper equipment. No, not that equipment – I mean the biological stuff. Y’know, the ol’ meat-n-taters. You cis women are supposed to be too busy squeezing out babies to drill teeth. You trans folk are either miserably in the closet or you’ve gotten the heck out of that toxic Dodge. Regardless, the only dentists in ACE world are the cis men.

Image shows a two-panel comic. First panel shows a dentist's office with the chair and dental equipment. A South Asian or African American dentist is poking in a blond white boy's mouth, asking, "Well now, Happy, what kind of filling would you like in your tooth?" Second panel is a close-up of the boy and the dentist. Happy is saying, "Strawberry! Ha-ha." The dentist says, "Ha-ha!"
Cartoon from ACE PACE 1086.

And what a horrible dental joke has to do with sedimentary rock, I’ll never know. I suppose it’s what happens when you’ve rotted your brain with too much Bible.

Anyway. The spectacularly ignorant Mr. Wheeler will now proceed to explain about sedimentary rocks. He tells us that the ocean floor’s lots like the continents. It’s got “mountains, hills, valleys, and plains as features of [its] surfaces.” He then says that “the ocean floor is covered mainly with sedimentary rock.” Which is a little deceptive. Yeah, the floor’s covered in lots of places with sediments, but those sediments aren’t all lithified, and the floor itself, along with most of the mountains and islands, is overwhelmingly basalt. Continue reading “(Repost) Adventures in ACE VIII: Senseless About Sedimentary”

(Repost) Adventures in ACE VIII: Senseless About Sedimentary

Protected: (Tier 1) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XXXVII: Wherein It’s All Relativity

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(Repost) “An Unmitigated Disaster” – Escape Chapter 15: Hawaii

This chapter really highlights how dysfunctional Carolyn’s family is, and how fucked up FLDS doctrine is – and keep in mind, this is before Warren Jeffs took over and it got extreme.

Imagine getting the opportunity to vacation in Hawaii. Awesome! Only… you have to go with the husband you hate. Not as awesome. And he’s taking two of his other wives… so not awesome. And your husband doesn’t even bother to tell you and your sister wives that you’re going: he just kind of lets you find out on your own… even less awesome. And you’re pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. Now we’re pretty fucking far from awesome.

Content note: emetophobia, emotional abuse, family drama, mention of rape.

Merril usually isn’t interested in his wives other than Barbara, but in the FLDS, you have to at least keep up an appearance of treating all wives equally, and his tendency to only take Barbara on long trips is getting noticed. Because a woman can only get messages from God through her husband, it can damage his standing in the community if he appears to be failing at the task of keeping his family under control. Merril has tried to keep the illusion of equality going by keeping most of his younger wives pregnant. But that only gets him so far. So he figures he’ll knock down three long trips in one and haul three of his wives to Hawaii. Continue reading “(Repost) “An Unmitigated Disaster” – Escape Chapter 15: Hawaii”

(Repost) “An Unmitigated Disaster” – Escape Chapter 15: Hawaii

Protected: “God is Going to Destroy His Life” – Escape Chapter 27: Harrison’s Cancer

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(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IVc: Wherein the Climate Heats Up

Onward, Christianist weather! We’re warming up with some global warming talk today. While SPC was content to devote a mere text box to climate change, basically blowing raspberries at anyone who gives a shit about it and waving off dramatic increases in greenhouse gas emissions by proclaiming hey, plants love carbon dioxide!, BJU’s Earth Science 4th Edition isn’t satisfied with blurting a few facts and moving on. No, there’s a whole chapter on the subject. And, people, they are the totes reasonable ones. They’re right in the middle. Look: they sneer at both sides!

They begin with a very telling couplet of sentences: Continue reading “(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IVc: Wherein the Climate Heats Up”

(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IVc: Wherein the Climate Heats Up