Most o’ ye know our Captain George had a wee mishap. He be on the mend, but the doctors have yet to pronounce him fit for duty. That means yer Admiral’s taking the helm this voyage. We’ll have to be quick about it – I be headin’ to Arizona this weekend, and that be no place to sail a ship from!

Get yer Elitist Bastard links to me at [email protected] by end o’ day Friday. I know it be short notice, but I also know ye’ve got plenty o’ elitist bastardry already posted this month, so ye’ve nothing to worry about.

See ye on board, me hearties!

Out o’ the taverns and onto the ship wi’ ye! Submit yer posts for the Carnival of the Elitist Bastards by the end o’ tonight, or we be sailin’ without ye. And none o’ us want that, now, do we?

We be setting sail from Slobber and Spittle next weekend – submissions are due no later than the end of day Friday, and ye know ye don’t want to be left behind. I’ve seen only one o’ ye step aboard – surely there’s more elitist bastards out there. Send Captain Cujo yer links!

I’ve noticed a dramatic decline in new recruits of late. This won’t do. Allow me to repeat meself: For any o’ ye who’ve never sailed, but think ye might be Elitist Bastard enough to sign on, now’s yer chance! Let’s review the requirements:

1. Write a blog post that blasts ignorance or celebrates some aspect o’ wisdom, or if ye be really ambitious, does both.

2. Post yer post.

3. Send us the link no later than the deadline, or ye be dead in the water.

Simplicity itself, innit? Which means no o’ ye should be left sittin’ on the docks when we sail.

It be that time again, time for all good Elitist Bastards to write their posts and send in their links. Captain Cujo be wantin’ yer submissions as soon as ye can get them to ‘im. Get ’em in to elitistbastardscarnival at gmail dot com. We be sailing on the weekend o’ the 25th – don’t ye be left on the docks!

‘Tis that time. If ye haven’t jumped aboard with yer submission clenched in yer teeth, ye’d better get leaping. I want to see all o’ ye on the ship by the end o’ day Friday. Captain Z be expectin’ ye! Email yer submissions and prepare to make mayhem!

The HMS Elitist Bastard won’t be wanting for leadership over the next few months. We’ve some mighty fine Captains taking the helm.

March 28-29 – Z at It’s the Thought That Counts

April 25-26 – Cujo359 at Slobber and Spittle

May 30-31 – George at Decrepit Old Fool

June 27-28 – John Pieret at Thoughts in a Haystack

July 25-26 – NP at The Coffee-Stained Writer

August 29-30 – Open

September 26-27 – Open

October 31-Nov. 1 – Open

November 28-29 – Open

December 26-27 – Open

Commands are going fast. Ye’d best get yours while there’s still a chance!

If ye’re worried ye can’t steer a ship as elitist as the HMS Elitist Bastard, ye can put those fears to rest. ‘Tis simplicity itself for true Elitist Bastards:

1. Ye must know how to create a hyperlink.

2. Ye bring posts full o’ various Elitist Bastardry together in fun and creative ways.

3. Then ye sit back and enjoy the warm glow o’ a job well done – or the warmer glow o’ rum, whichever’s the warmer for ye.

Ye don’t even have to muster up a crew – yer Admiral does that for ye. There’s still room for five o’ ye, so volunteer yerself.

It also be time to get yer submissions in for March’s sailing. I know ye’ve got something suitable, so send me those links no later than Friday, March 27th. Captain Z be expecting ye!

Kaden lives! And he’d like to make us a little something special for COTEB’s anniversary:

Might ye be wantin’ somethin’ shpecial made up fer our “Annie-versary” this comin’ May?

I might be able to design or draw something to commemorate, if you give me some ideas or requests.

I definitely be wantin’ something a little shpecial, but at this point, I have no idea what. Start brainstorming, my dear Elitist Bastards.

Also, we have exactly three (3) Captains so far. This is not enough captains. Whether you’re new to the helm or have taken the HMS Elitist Bastard out for a spin before, if you think you can captain the ship, volunteer!

We need a few good Bastards…

Aye, so it does. We’ve only three weeks afore the next sailin’, and we’ve no captains. The HMS Elitist Bastard needs enterprisin’ elitists to helm her. Should ye be interested, email Admiral Dana at [email protected] with yer name, yer blog, and the month ye want to take the wheel. Make sure ye include a second choice just in case ye missed the boat. Dates we leave port are below:

March 28th

April 25th

May 30th (our Anniversary!)

June 27th

July 25th

August 29th

September 26th

October 31st

November 28th

December 26th

See ye at the helm, my future captains!

(Postdated to reach all o’ ye)

Quatro mas.

Damn.

That makes cinco nuevos hands on board for this sailing. That’s truly outstanding. The only problem is, we nearly ran out of berths. We had to… well, improvise:

Between the old hands and the new hands, this is certainly going to be a sailing to remember – and not in the Titanic sense, either. Have I told you lately how much I appreciate all of your hard work and dedication? You guys are what makes COTEB possible.

Muchas gracias, mis amigos.

(Yeah, I’ve been listening to the Peacemakers a lot lately. Hence el español.)

It nearly be time to sail. Bring me all the treasure ye can by Friday night, ye Elitist Bastards. I mean us to sail with a full hold.