So, you know how I am: if I haven’t got more irons in the fire than I’ve got fire, I’m not content. Always need to ping between projects like a SuperBall (remember those?) in an octagonal room. Thus, in the midst of Mount St. Helens (new posts already written and coming soon!), and Discovery Park (which we’re finishing, never fear!), and Pioneering Women in the Geosciences (I shall never abandon them!), and Men and Work-Life Balance in STEM (if you men start sending me your stories again, I’ll be able to publish them), I have begun a new project: confronting creationism.

Specifically: Ima gonna take the creationist version of geology and give it the ol’ critical eyeball.

Now, in order to get myself good and started, I figured I’d best learn what the kids of creationists learn. To that effect, I’ve purchased the earth sciences textbooks from two of the leading publishers of conservative Christian textbooks: Bob Jones University Press and A Beka Book.*

A Beka was simple – a quick search on Amazon, and I am the bemused owner of Science of the Physical Creation in Christian Perspective, 2nd Edition for a whopping sawbuck plus shipping. BJU was more problematic. I wanted their most up-to-date book o’ Christian learnin’, Earth Science Student Text 4th ed., but it’s hella expensive. I looked for weeks and could never find a copy for under $40. “There’s no bloody way I’m dropping that kind of coin on creationist drivel,” I swore. “Especially not when I can get several books on real geology for that price.” So I tried a 2nd edition copy for a mere seventy-five pretty pennies, plus shipping, but it became clear in comparing the table of contents with the 4th ed. that I’d be missing way too much amazing crap if I didn’t shell out. So I did. $45 later, it’s in the mail, and I’m consoling myself by the fact I at least didn’t cough up full price.

Sigh.

For comparison purposes, I got a relatively-recent regular school earth sciences textbook, which I’ve flipped through and fallen thoroughly in love with. Where o where was the good shit when I was a kid?

I’ve also ordered many… creative… Christian creationist “science” books on things like the “Flood geology” of the Grand Canyon and how Mount St. Helens totes proves goddidit in only 6 days. Seriously, people. This stuff exists. In fact, that last one I mentioned I’ve purchased twice: once by accident (and when I realized what I’d snatched up so hastily at the used book store was not, despite being in the science section, an actual science book, I chopped it up for the beautiful photos and chucked the words away), and once by – ahaha – design. I’ve bought so many examples of the creationists supposed best “science” books that Amazon thinks I’ve gone pseudoscientist. Fortunately, I’ve also bought a few counter-creationist books, which will hopefully help its algorithm realize I’m still me.

Now, most of this is super-duper cheap, but some of it’s not. And I want to do this thing thoroughly. No half measures, here. I’ll give them a fair hearing, seek out the stuff they’re most proud of, and see how it stacks up against real science. I’ll seek out recent editions when and where possible so that they cannot claim I’m tilting at old windmills. I’ll compare their books to those containing peer-reviewed science. And I will report my findings to you, dearest readers and patrons.

I could definitely use your assistance.

If you want to help fund this adventure, I’ve added a donate button off to the side there, just under the Recents list. Or you can click this handy link right here. What do you get for dropping your spare change in the jar?

• The joyful warmth deep in the cockles of your heart that arises from watching certain ideas be thoroughly deconstructed. With snark.
• The suffusing satisfaction of knowing you had a little something to do with ensuring a wider public knows what creationists’ kiddies are getting shoveled into their brainpans.
• Help raise awareness that it ain’t just biology creationists need to invalidate.
• More content than I could possibly provide on me own dime alone.
• Book reviews and many science facts that will help you confront the creationists who sneak onto your local school board. Or at least give you things to discuss with them when fate throws you into close proximity.
• And more!

So drop in some coinage if you’ve got a bit to spare, and rest assured we’re going to have a very good time with our creationist friends. There shall even be experiments!

Thank you in advance, my darlings. You are, and shall always be, the very best.

*Yes, I have blatantly stolen this idea from Doktor Zoom, who does the thoroughly enjoyable and often outrage-inducing series Sundays with the Christianists. Yes, I will let the good Doktor know when I’ve started posting, and I hope a mutually-satisfactory post-filching process can commence, wherein ETEV and Wonkette Christianist content is swapped between sites like genes between antibiotic-avoiding bacteria. So, Dok – write me.