I will definitely cheer for the hometown team for this one!
Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe posted an open letter defending gay marriage and the right of free speech. It contains a fantastically entertaining mix of logical arguments and a buttload of vulgarity.
See, this other football player, Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, is a long-time supporter of legalizing same-sex marriage and he said some stuff about that. And then some state delegate from Maryland was all like – and this is paraphrased here, but I think I captured the essence of the letter -Waaaaa! You can’t say that! Hey, you – Ravens owner – your employee supports same-sex marriage and, like, you should make him stop saying that stuff! Here I wrote it on my official letterhead so you know I’m totes credible!”
And then Kluwe was like – again, paraphrasing – “Woah! Ayanbadejo and all of us have the right to speak our minds. And BTW, what’s so scary about gay marriage? Gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster.”
Hmmm…less paraphrasing in there than you might suspect, akshully. (Hint: “Cockmonster” – not paraphrasing)
But seriously, Kluwe’s letter is a heck of a ride and worth a full read. In one sentence he’s all “The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points” and then later he’s calling the delegate a “narcissistic fromunda stain”. Really, one of my biggest complaints with Kluwe’s letter is that it drove me to look up “fromunda” in Urban Dictionary. *shudders*
And now the Maryland state delegate looks like a total asshat. Which is cool because that letter he sent to the Ravens owner already made him look like an asshat. And now Kluwe’s letter is helping to bring the delegate’s asshatedness some well-deserved attention.
kicked this one one right through the middle of the posts [As I am football illiterate, insert appropriate sports-jargon idiom here that actually describes what a punter does in football and can also mean WAY TO GO YOU ROCK!], Kluwe. Well done, sir.
And here are a couple of video interviews that Klewe has done explaining the letter and his motivations for posting it. If you follow the link you can watch one interview from MSNBC’s The Ed Show, and Klewe appeared live for the local news interview with KARE. On The Ed Show I learned that Chris Klewe is involved with Minnesotans United for All Families. He’s very well spoken, and I’m excited to learn that he’s using his voice to speak up for marriage equality.
UPDATE: And oh – oh, this is BEAUTIFUL! Chris Kluwe has written a blog post over at the Pioneer Press about why he used the language he used. He’s responding to critics of his tone and offers a hilarious edited version of his letter that removes all of the swearing. It contains the phrase “DISAPPOINTED LEMUR FACE WITH SOLITARY TEAR TRICKLING DOWN TO CHIN.” Go. Read.
Hat tip to nearly every single one of my friends on Facebook for this story.