Month: May 2011

CUP Contest #15

Brianne Bilyeu1,083 Comments

Here we go again – the fifteenth Close-Up Photo contest!

Guess what this is:

Fame! Fortune! Fake internet points! When you play the CUP contest you could win any one of these! Okay, really you’ll only win one of these. Unless you have an improbability drive in your back pocket. And you might.

All guesses submitted via the comments or by Facebook will be accepted.  The first person to guess correctly wins 100 internet points.  Anyone who also guesses correctly after that will get some amount of points. As always, extra points may or may not be awarded for amusing answers. The contest is over when I post the answer and announce points, which usually 24-36 hours after the contest goes up. You can see who’s in the lead over at the CUP Winners page.

Enjoy, good luck, see you soon.

CUP Contest #15
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Married People Conversations

Brianne Bilyeu597 Comments

We’re doing the morning routine in our little apartment’s single bathroom. The Hubby is drying his hair and I’m styling mine. I grab a bottle of  mouse and spray a little in the palm of my hand. For some reason I decide to move my hand and the spraying can right next to the Hubby’s face. He doesn’t even flinch.

Me: You didn’t even flinch

Hubby: Nope, I didn’t did I?

Me: You’re just kind of resigned, huh? Either I was going to do it and you’d deal, or you guessed I probably wouldn’t spray it?

Hubby: It was the second one.

Me: Really? You don’t think I would have done it? After all these years?

Hubby: Well, I figured you wouldn’t put mousse in my eye.

Me: Yeah, but I totally would have sprayed your cheek or forehead or something.

Hubby: *considers* Yeah, you’d do that.

Me: But I think it’s sweet that you still trust me so much. It’s like you have a really bad memory.

Hubby: *completely deadpan* How do you think we stay married?

Married People Conversations

Boston SlutWalk 2011

Brianne Bilyeu, , , , , , 997 Comments
I am very, very excited to introduce a guest post by Jo O. All words and photos are hers, and have not been edited from her original submission. For more of Jo’s photos from the Boston SlutWalk, please visit her BostonSlut Walk set on Flickr.
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Last Saturday I attended the Boston SlutWalk, one of many satellite walks affiliated with the Toronto SlutWalk held in early April. The original SlutWalk was organized in response to a statement made in January by a Toronto police officer during a campus safety forum at York University’s Osgoode Hall Law School where he stated “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

Although he eventually issued an apology, organizers of the Toronto SlutWalk were not deterred, stating that police failed the citizens by allowing this culture of slut-shaming to enter the ranks of those sworn to serve and protect. “With sexual assault already a significantly under-reported crime, survivors have now been given even less of a reason to go to the Police, for fear that they could be blamed.” And it’s not just Toronto Police that are the problem, which is why this message grew from a small group of people who heard the insensitive comment to the launch of satellite walks in London, Boston, Dallas, and many other cities (including Minneapolis on August 6th).

The belief that a woman’s choice of clothing could cause a man to lose control of his sexual urges is absurd and offensive to men and women alike. But this attitude exists everywhere, from the professionals to whom we report a crime to the communities expected to provide support. When an 11-year old girl was gang raped in Cleveland, Texas, the New York Times article about the case highlighted just how skewed some people’s views of the situation were. Interviews with residents familiar with the victim and the attackers focused on the fact that the victim “dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s” as well as concerns about how the young men involved would “have to live with this the rest of their lives.”

Admittedly, I’ve harbored similar prejudices in the past, which is why I came out for the Boston SlutWalk. It’s easy to say that under no circumstances is rape acceptable, but it’s more difficult to quiet that voice in your head that asks inappropriate questions that don’t matter, like “what kind of reputation does she have?” or “what was she wearing?” When I told a friend of mine I was going to this event, he asked me if I thought a man wearing a Rolex or flashing a wad of cash should be surprised when he gets mugged. It stumped me for a second, until I thought about how sad it is to assume that an expensive trinket in someone’s hand would cause everyone in the vicinity make a grab for it or that seeing a little cleavage would suddenly turn any man into a sex-crazed animal. It assumes that every person out there is a potential attacker, a likely thief or a possible rapist. It also wrongly puts fault on the victim, when the blame should always fall squarely on the shoulders of the actual perpetrators of violence.

In the build up to the event, people questioned why a SlutWalk was being held in Boston. Did we really want to take back the word “slut” anyway? Did we want to advocate slutty behavior? Was this really the message we want to send to the children spending a nice day in the park with their parents? The true message was obvious at the event, when two thousand people, young and old, male and female, gay, straight, bi, and transgendered all came together in Boston to say we would not tolerate slut-shaming or victim-blaming anymore.

As Jaclyn Friedman said during her speech, “It ends because there is truly nothing, NOTHING you can do to make someone raping you YOUR fault. It ends because calling other people sluts may make you feel safer, but it doesn’t actually keep you safer. It ends because not one more of us will tolerate being violated and blamed for it. And it ends because all of this slut-shaming does more to us than just the violence of rape. As if that weren’t enough. The violent threat of slut-shaming also keeps us afraid of our bodies and our desires. It makes us feel like we’re wrong, and dirty, and bad, and yes very, very unsafe, when all we want is to enjoy the incredible pleasure that our bodies are capable of.”

Jaclyn Friedman at Boston SlutWalk 2011

The SlutWalk wasn’t just about one stupid statement made by a cop. It is a response to the skewed way society looks at victims of sexual assault. It doesn’t matter how many sexual partners a person has or what they like to wear, rapes happen because a rapist is around. The SlutWalk is a call for people to stand up together and say I’m not ashamed of liking sex, I’m not ashamed of the way I choose to dress, and I will stand up against anyone who suggests a victim of rape was “asking for it.”

Boston SlutWalk 2011

Of Blogging and Headstones

Brianne Bilyeu, , 383 Comments

And dog tricks, and kitty hiding spots and the strange mix of awkwardness and comfort that occurs when meeting someone in person who you’ve only previously known online, and directions to restaurants located somewhere in the North Chicago area. These are all things that were discussed when I stopped over at the marvelous Jeremy and Tina’s house when I was in Chicago last weekend. They invited me into their home, let me rough-house with their gorgeous pitbull, Talulah, and gave me coffee and a tour of the nearby Graceland Cemetery, which houses the earthly remains of many people who played huge roles in Chicago’s history. And then we went to brunch, and it was good. I even had a chance to see a lot of the city on the way there. *snicker*

I’ve said it several times, in a few different places, but Jeremy – if you read this one – thanks again for a wonderful afternoon!

Of Blogging and Headstones

Do not fear the science!

Brianne Bilyeu, , 532 Comments

Like many people, my gateway drug introduction to skepticism as a vibrant, evolving community was The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe. If you listen to podcasts and like science and skepticism with occasional side of snark, you absolutely MUST give SGU a try.

This was the end-of-show quote from episode #303 (5/4/11), and it’s stuck with me for over a week now. I really enjoy it as a persuasive statement about the use and beauty of science.

“I love science, and it pains me to think that so many are terrified of the subject or feel that choosing science means you cannot also choose compassion, or the arts, or be awed by nature. Science is not meant to cure us of mystery, but to reinvent and reinvigorate it.”

-Robert Saplosky

Do not fear the science!

CUP #14 Winner

Brianne Bilyeu439 Comments

We have a new first-time winner for CUP #14!

The original photo was this:

Congratulations to JUDI who nailed it with her speedy answer of “head and fin on a motorcycle engine”.

It was, specifically, MY motorcycle engine’s cooling fins. It’s riding weather again, baby!

In addition to 100 points for being the first to post the correct answer, I award Judi another 20 points for being a new player. Welcome, Judi!

Cate and Heidi each get 30 points for also guessing fins.

Carly and Erin get 20 points for playing, but no additional points for their incorrect answers.

Thanks for playing, everyone!  Stop by the CUP Winners page for the current rankings, as well as past contests, winners and a description of the lame prize that I have chosen for the first player to reach 1000 points!

Gratuitous shot of my sexy bike:

CUP #14 Winner

CUP Contest #14

Brianne Bilyeu1,155 Comments

It’s time for another round of the Close Up Photo contest! In an attempt to change up the subject matter, I’ll give you all a hint – this week’s cup is NOT food.

All guesses submitted via the comments or by Facebook will be accepted.  The first person to guess correctly wins 100 internet points.  Anyone who also guesses correctly after that will get some amount of points. As always, extra points may or may not be awarded for amusing answers.

Remember, the first person to win 1000 points will be the grand winner of the CUP Contest, and the recipient of Uber-CUP Winner bragging rights and a pretty lame-o prize.  The list of past winners and current rankings can be found on the CUP Winners page.

Happy guessing, and thanks for playing!

CUP Contest #14

New CUP Contest tomorrow!

Brianne Bilyeu, , , , , , , 2,150 Comments

Okay, I want to write about my week, so you can either bear with me OR if you just want to learn about tomorrow’s CUP Contest scroll all the way down to the last paragraph of this post.

START READING HERE FOR DRAMA! INTRIGUE! BETRAYAL! TOW TRUCKS!

This past week has been amazingly stressful, both in good ways and bad.

On Friday I drove eight hours down to Chicago to visit with my Mom. On Saturday we went to the Art Institute, enjoyed a lovely tapas lunch at Emilio’s, and went to Cirque Eloize that evening. After the show we ate a light dinner at Petterino’s and then came back to the hotel and packed. The next morning we got up early, I dropped Mom off at the train station and I headed over to meet Chicago cool cat and fellow blogger Jeremy and his Chicago cool cat wife, Tina. We puttered around snapping photos in a relatively famous cemetery called Graceland Cemetery, then battled the Mother’s Day crowds to have lunch at Marietta’s (phenomenal lunch and well worth the wait!). I’ll have more info and pics of the Chicago trip in a later post.

I left for Minneapolis at around 2pm, but immediately became stuck in traffic on I94 leaving Chicago. I survived that and stopped at the Belvidere Oasis for road snacks (i.e., junk food that can’t be justified in normal day-to-day existence), and then I made it four hours NW to Mauston, Wisconsin when my car broke down. My bought in February of this year/60-day bumper-to-bumper warranty expiring less than three weeks ago/NEW CAR broke down. When I stopped for gas in Mauston, the engine wouldn’t start again. I called AAA for a tow truck. When I went into the BP to let them know why I was blocking a pump, I was browbeaten into pop clutching the car by this horrific bully of a woman who mocked me for  calling for help when it was so obvious that all I had was a dead battery. We got the engine started and I agreed with her that I should just head for Minneapolis and not stop anymore.

But instead, the second I left the  BP gas station I drove over to a local KMart to buy a battery, just in case mine quit on the trip home. At KMart the car died as I was pulling into a parking spot. Not a good sign, but my first reaction was  joyous indignation as I thought “Ha! I knew that pushy b*tch was wrong!” But then I realized “Oh wait, my car is broke good, innit?” Still, I decided to replace the battery and try for home.

As soon as the battery was in, I started the ignition and the engine roared to life. I headed for Minneapolis, but made myself nauseous with worry for the next three hours. I tried all sorts of tricks to relax including listening to different kinds of music and podcasts to distract myself, breathing deeply and calmly, arguing with myself that even if I did break down I could call for help, and really a breakdown was just money and time.

None of that worked.

I worried for the entire time up until I actually did break down again outside of Hudson, WI, which is about 40 miles from Minneapolis.  I was THIS close to making it home! It was about 9:30pm and night had fallen. I glanced down at my dash and saw that it was completely dark. I glanced at the road in front of me and was horrified to realize that my headlights had gone out. The only reason I was able to see was because the traffic behind me was illuminating the road and the tail lights of the cars in front of me were guiding my way. I pulled off the road just as the engine died. Alternator.

Aych eee double hockey sticks.

To make an already long story slightly less interminable: AAA came and towed me to Stillwater where some nice friends rescued me and put me up for the night.  

Monday was gray and depressing. I had left my glasses in the car at the repair shop and my contacts had conked out, so I spent most of the day with fuzzy vision, which gave me a headache. The car wasn’t ready until 2:30pm. So, many hours and $600 later I left Stillwater. I drove right to the house of some friends in North Minneapolis to relax and be around nice people, because I was so bummed out that I didn’t want to be in an empty apartment by myself. Who knows what kind of damage I could have done the Ben and Jerry’s container in the freezer at my place?

On Tuesday I had to go to the dentist AND I had a doctor’s appointment. Also, work got very…involved that day. The one bright spot was a crazy spring storm and an evening of drinks and gossip at the Independent with a friend.

On Wednesday work was very busy again, and I spent the evening doing laundry and cleaning the house.

So, you see…it’s just been an often crabby, sometimes enjoyable, busy few days.

But yesterday was pretty awesome. Work is crazy busier than usual, but I’ve taken on an interesting new project. After work last night I headed over to the Be’Wiched Deli in Minneapolis to enjoy dinner, drinks and conversation with the Minnesota Skeptics meetup group.

And today I felt like blogging. Woo-hoo!

START READING HERE FOR CUP CONTEST INFORMATION!

So, now that I’ve completely tricked you into reading about my personal drama by putting a misleading title on this blog post, allow me to announce that TOMORROW at 6pm I will post the next Close Up Photo Contest entry. I actually have the CUP Winners page up to date, so stop on by to read the rules, learn about past entries and take a gander at the current player rankings.

See you tomorrow!

New CUP Contest tomorrow!