We were duped. Lied to by the Shark Week Countdown Timer way back when we decided we needed to add this movie to our mocking list. So we’re moving the movie. This Wednesday, in observance, we will watch Deep Blue Sea. It stars Thomas Jane and is about super-smart sharks. How bad can it be? Oh, about this bad.

This is available on Netflix.

Three weeks after that, when we’re fully rested, we prove that we’re all masochists. That’s right. On August 28, we’re watching Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike. Taste the paranoia.

This is also available on Netflix.

What? You don’t think we’d pay extra to mock this movie, do you? After this, though, we’ll be mocking a couple of movies that no one has to pay for, just to piss off John Galt.

Then, two week later, on September 11, we’re going old school with House of Evil. Boris Karloff, a strange castle, haunted toys? Nom, nom, nom. There’s no trailer available for this one, but how can we go wrong?

This is available on YouTube.

“These all sound awful!” I hear you cry. Yes. Yes, they do. “These must be mocked mercilessly”, you say. Well, then you’re in the right company. The instructions for playing along:

1. Start following @MockTM on Twitter.
2. Start watching the movie on the appropriate Wednesday at 9 p.m. EDT.
3. Once you’ve got the movie going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM.  Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
4. Set up a search for @MockTM on Twitter for the duration so you can follow along with everyone else sharing your pain.

If you have suggestions for other movies that can and should be mocked, send them to @MockTM. Preference will be given to movies that are free or stream on the major media delivery services. Watch the feed, and we’ll set up the calendar for more terrible, mockable movies.

If you’ve missed a mocking, you can catch transcripts and even subtitle files for later watching on the Mock the Movie archive.