There has been a conversation happening in the comments of a recent post on calling harassment “harassment”.
Simon: A question for all the commenters that disagree with what Greg did: what would you do in his place?
chrisho-stuart: There are any number of good examples of how to do engage these kinds of things better than Greg manages. Stephanie Zvan stands as a good example of expressing anger and contempt in much better ways than what Greg did.
Simon: I share your admiration for Stephanie. However I can’t help but notice that she too gets a ridiculously high amount of harassment from the same general direction.
chrisho-stuart: Simon; I agree that Stephanie, and FtB in general, and a range of other posters especially women, get completely over the top abuse from the general direction in which Mykeru tends to inhabit. Over this last year it has been a sharp wake up call to me and many others at the depth of sheer mean spirited venomous misogyny that exists.
They generally handle it very well.
Let’s put an end to this right now. It’s nice and all that you personally might think I’m handling this harassment well. Don’t ever fucking use me as your “proof” that someone else is doing it wrong.
- I get relatively little of this harassment. I am not particularly emotionally vulnerable. My job isn’t dependent on public opinion. I am incredibly privileged and secure in a lot of ways. And I’m not that high profile. For someone being harassed day in and day out, I’ve got it easy.
- I have support. Unlike Greg, I don’t have a bunch of people on “my side” who are eager to take swings of their own every time my name is mentioned. Instead, I have an awful lot of people, even many who disagree with me, who come to my defense. It makes a rather large difference when no one is blaming the victim, both in amount of harassment received and in the resources available to deal with it.
- You’re all too frequently playing that little game in which you feel helpless to control the behavior of the assholes, so you work extra hard to police the behavior of your allies. It’s the accommodationist game, and it’s a lousy bit of social engineering that benefits no one but you.
- This is all part of the good feminist/bad feminist game that my harassers are already trying to play. If you play it for them, you just make my life harder. You weaken my support by setting up false rivalries where there are none. You set up situations in which I get criticized for working with those “bad” feminists to accomplish things that need to be done.
- You are using me to make other harassed people feel and look worse. I did not ask for this. I will not stand for it. I would much rather adopt “bad” behavior myself than allow you to get away with that. I would rather stand in solidarity with them than judgment with you. Don’t make me do that.
Knock that shit off now.