A Good Reason to Be Left Behind

Assuming all that rapture practice (yes, really) hasn’t paid off and you haven’t been bodily lifted into Heaven, you might want to save the evening of October 22.

On May 21st, 1988, the ground quaked, planes fell from the sky, flames roared over the Earth, and heathens repented in their last remaining seconds. Er, wait. On September 7th, 1994, virulent outbreaks devastated entire populations, continents were swallowed by the oceans, trumpets sounded… Um. On May 21st, 2011, boils… Hmm. Well, there’s another rapture penciled in the calendar of Harold Camping, the Family Radio host who made the previous judgement day predictions. October 21st, 2011 is now Camping’s “real” rapture prediction, or at least his most current. Come celebrate this non-event the day after with fellow atheists, heathens, and curious left-behinders at The Rapture II: We’re Still Here, Saturday, October 22nd at the 400 Bar. Get your tickets in advance for $8 or $10 at the door the day of. Part of the proceeds will go to the MN Atheists to the fund of their choosing, so come have some sinister fun and benefit your favorite non-profit at the same time. For those who have been baptized without your consent, Eric Jayne will be taking care of that with his debaptism kit (a hairdryer) and a certificate to prove your non-religious authenticity. And for those who have been circumcised without your consent—well, you have our condolences.

The Minneapolis Burlesque and Cabaret Social Club has a list of the burlesque performers, and those are some names worth seeing. The Facebook event is here, in case you want to find out whether your friends are going. If they’re not, ask them. This is the second of these events, and everyone I know who went to the first had a blast.

A Good Reason to Be Left Behind
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9 thoughts on “A Good Reason to Be Left Behind

  1. 2

    Perhaps equal fun the week or so prior to the “rapture” next month is to ask the people driving the vans why they are using credit cards to fill their gas tanks. Since they are certain they will be raptured leaving the godless behind, aren’t they stealing since they have no intention of paying what they owe?

  2. 6

    Well, the Rapture better happen pretty soon because my financial planning the last few years is based on the idea that no one will be trying to collect unpaid bills afterwards (what with only evil people being left). Also, people who expect to be raptured shouldn’t be allowed to drive or fly planes because they could kill someone when they’re raptured

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