Things I Didn’t Say…

…walking around downtown Minneapolis today. No matter how much I wanted to.

To the people standing outside smoking in an uncomfortable little row: “Number three, please step forward.”

To the person having their picture taken with the Mary Tyler Moore statue: “You do know that absolutely everyone raises their hand just like that for these pictures, right? Don’t believe me? Ask Flickr. No, really. Well, except for this guy.”

To the kid with the attitude: “Of course you’re tough, dear. We can all see that. All I’m saying is that shoving your jaw out and sticking it up in the air is much more effective if you do it before you see me looking.”

To the guy running to the Dome with his kids: “Dude, I don’t cross against the light when your kids can see me. Why are you making them do it now?”

To the guy who couldn’t quite stop his Suburban before the crosswalk: “Really? I mean, I already knew you were overcompensating with your car. Are you really that desperate for those few extra inches?”

Things I Didn’t Say…

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